Chapter X-4: Day 4

December 3rd, 2010

Here is a big SHOCKER...I still feel terrible!
So no call/update from PH as of yet.
I tried to call him this morning to see if he had any news/course of action with regard to proceeding.
No answer...I did get a B*llsh*t text from him saying

"Sorry I'm stuck in a meeting at work and can't talk.  I may have an open afternoon/lunch and will check after my meeting".

I answered ...

"Just wanted an update/outcome with meeting you had yesterday.  Also wanted to know if you could ship my things as soon as possible.  Thanks"

I have a feeling this is going to open up a whole huge can of worms.
I think he will not be organized to ship my things.
Then there is the matter of the expense of shipping my things.
Which I think should be HIS expense because HE wants this.
And my expenses far far far outweigh his. 
I am the biggest loser in all of this.
I screwed my career, my options and my life to be with him.
Nevermind the things that really are mine...like the brandnew washer and dryer my parents bought for us.
Or the $300 worth of Target gift certificates to buy things like a vacuum and some dishes.
Nevermind that EVERYtime he came here to visit he left with more than $1000 in cash because of my guilt of not contributing.
Talked to Taylor yesterday and want to write a post all about that "guilt" and how it fits into life.
I have an awful awful feeling that this is going to become a huge mess.
I'm worried.
And I'm still reeling from the shock of it all.
I guess I should really provide some back story but its all just too much right now.