Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Chapter X-40: Pieces of a conversation

January 30th, 2011

10:56 AM Jacob: zuzu
me: Hi
10:57 AM Jacob: hi
me: sent you the pics

I finally sent him the pictures he kept asking about...they are like upclose beauty shots not anything pornographic or anything dirty etc.
Jacob: nothing came yet
me: patience
it is in the internet zone
10:58 AM I did send them though
10:59 AM Jacob: came
me: I didn't know if it would work because some of the files are big
Jacob: it did
11:00 AM u look amazing
me: awww thanks
Jacob: u are so beautiful
11:01 AM me: thanks Jacob

Here's me trying to get him to push me away
me: now to find someone who thinks that too haha
Jacob: i do
11:02 AM me: well that is great :)
but sort of unattainable
Jacob: i want to see u
11:03 AM me: okay I do too
Jacob: u are on my mind
me: a lot eh?
Jacob: u drive me crazy zuzu
11:04 AM me: you too!
11:08 AM Jacob: my internet closed
11:10 AM Teagan?
11:13 AM me: hi
had to take my dog out
Jacob: k
u drive me crazy zuzu
me: you too
Jacob: i cant stop thinking abt u
11:15 AM me: me too
it is frustrating haha
11:16 AM Jacob: i want to see u, i want u Teagan
me: I kind of wish you wanted all of me
Jacob: i do
11:17 AM me: you know what I mean
Jacob: i do i wish our timing was diff and u didnt say u were happily engaged when u did

woah...woah what the heck did that mean?
11:18 AM me: but I did :(
Jacob: i know
11:19 AM me: so now I just have to move on
it is annoying
Jacob: k
me: ?
I meant I have to get past that
11:20 AM Jacob: i said ok
me: sometimes I really wish things had been different
11:21 AM Jacob: i know me too
me: so you still want to see me?
11:24 AM Jacob: i do but with all u say i dont see why u want to
me: what do you mean?
Jacob: u have to move on
so u prob dont want to see me
me: I meant from dwelling on stuff that I wished was different
11:25 AM its not different
it happened that way
Jacob: k
me: it is just I don't know how to explain it with you
do you not what to see me?
Jacob: i do
me: will it happen?
Jacob: seeing each other
11:26 AM me: yes?
Jacob: it can
me: will it though?
Jacob: yes
me: k
Jacob: me too
me: lets plan it then :)

For the record...I'm even getting sick of some of these conversations haha...but then he says stuff like...
Jacob: sorry
i cant get u off my mind Teagan

Then I asked him if he thought there was something special about us
11:35 AM Jacob: yes, i think how we are passionate abt same things, yr profession, the lake, hanging w girls in canada
11:36 AM me: haha funny how you mention the girls from canada
11:39 AM do you think of anyone else with the frequency you think of me?
11:41 AM Jacob: how beautiful, sexy u are and smart u are
me: thanks I think the same things about you
11:42 AM I think our compatibility is beyond anything
Jacob: i want u Teagan

So our conversation is kind of annoying and some details that I really can't bear to share so then...
12:14 PM me: kay
Jacob: i didnt think u would have ever been single and we started talking
me: things happen
12:15 PM I tried to do the right thing

what did he mean he didn't think I ever would have been single etc. (well truth be told NEITHER DID I!)...however I was left dropped and put out like yesterdays trash and now trying to find comfort in someone that is not available (which is wrong but I just can't seem to make a clean break from it).
Jacob: u wouldnt talk to me when u were engaged
me: I know

I didn't talk to him for the period I was "engaged" because I was happy and that would have been wrong of me to do so.  When I was with Spencer I didn't want anyone else.  I wanted nothing but Spencer forever and ever so I refused to talk to Jacob...but something happens when you get ruthlessly left.  My heart is in a million pieces and here is someone who I had been close to before telling me things like I'm beautiful and smart and I'm such a sucker!
12:16 PM but you were the one who deleted me off facebook
Jacob: so what am i suppose to do
me: huh?
12:17 PM Jacob: idk
what to do
me: I'm sorry

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