Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Chapter X-30: Huge big changes for a new year

Monday January 3rd

I had returned from the weekend at the Lake House with the girls.
Val had caught me messaging Jacob on the 31st and ratted me out to the girls (deservingly so).
They confronted me and we had a talk that it was best that I stopped talking to him.
But I just couldn't force myself.
Bright bright super early Monday morning.

7:57 AM Jacob: hi
 me: Hi
 Jacob: how r u
 me: Are you at work already?
7:58 AM Jacob: no at home \
  working out in an hr
 me: Oh that is good
 Jacob: i saw X and Y are engaged on fb
 me: Yucky

This couple is awful and basically caused a lot of pain and drama to way too many people and the thought of them getting together  made me throw up in my mouth.  Also, I knew I would have to tell one of my friends about it and it is terrible news to have to tell someone.  I was now mad also because it seemed like everyone on this planet had found their "someone"...except me.

7:59 AM Jacob: how was yr weekend
 me: Really good :) we had so much fun and the place was beautiful
8:00 AM How was yours?
 Jacob: good
  did yr parents get yr stuff back from Spencer's state
 me: Yes
8:01 AM Jacob: how did it go
 me: I think they get back today
 Jacob: oh ok
 me: Not without drama but at least it is done
 Jacob: how so?
8:02 AM me: He wasn't there and his dad was

How did I get to the point where I was talking to HIM about THIS stuff
 Jacob: oh ok, he didnt want to confront yr parents
 me: Guess not
8:03 AM Jacob: why didnt yr parents say yes when he asked in the beginning
 me: Didn't we already talk about it?

why did he want to know all this information????
8:04 AM Jacob: not sure why they said no
  just the short time?
 me: Few different things that was one of them...guess I shoukd have listened to them$
8:05 AM Jacob: what were others
 me: Guess it doesn't matter now ...they hadn't met him yet etc
 Jacob: oh ok
8:06 AM i see u never made to yr other computer lol
 he must REALLY want a copy of that picture...
me: Haha not yet
  You will know when I do
8:08 AM Jacob: u think yr parents would have said yes to us

My heart practically stopped.  This was WAY too early to be having this conversation.
Did he really just ask that?
8:09 AM me: At the time I think so they did a lot of stuff with us and your family
  I'm guessing your parents would not have been too thrilled at the idea
8:10 AM Jacob: why do u say that, they would have supported anything I wanted no one had anything against u

I confess I am one of those people that is convinced that people don't like me that much from a boy's parents, to bosses I'm always convinced that I'm not good enough ...definitely need to work on that for new year and always
 me: At the time I didn't want to be in PA
8:11 AM Jacob: I know
 me: So they wouldn't be excited about that
 Jacob: or now u wouldnt be either
 me: ?
8:12 AM Jacob: wouldnt want to be in pa now either
 me: People change
 Jacob: u would now
8:13 AM me: I think I am more open to compromise

Compromise is different than settling.  I didn't want to settle.
8:14 AM Jacob: oh ok, it doesnt mean I am staying here forever
what the f*ck!!! seriously...what did he mean "it doesnt mean I am staying here forever" does that mean he would leave PA
that would have changed EVERYthing for us then (as in back then)
and WHY would he be telling me that?! 
I was officially freaking out!
8:15 AM me: I you would consider not being in PA?
 Jacob: yeah

OMG seriously...I was stunned and rethinking a lot of things but all I could muster out was...
 me: Interesting
8:16 AM Jacob: u entered txt
8:17 AM i have to get ready to go to trainer
 me: ?
  I entered txt?
  Okay I'm about to head to work
 Jacob: looked like u typed something
 me: K

I was completely unnerved.
This conversation seemed to come out of no where.
I had no idea it was going...I couldn't have guessed it would go the way it did.
To be continued...

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