* Warning: this gets graphic/medical issues
So as the popular girls dropped one by one.
I grew stronger (both physically and mentally).
I'm sure the reputation of the cheerleading team diminished some...but we also rose in the provincial rankings dramatically!
I would like to say I grew into being a leader on the team.
Coach Pete taught me the value of hard work...he taught me that the trophies are won in practice and the competition was merely for picking up the hardware (trophies).
I was no longer the tape winder or sideline/substitute girl.
It was a slow and steady improvement and took a lot of sweat.
It got to the point that after fall tryouts we would meet Coach Pete to discuss our opinions of who should/should not make the team.
It was amazing.
I would say that there was a core four of us that got really close.
Jules, Cammy, River and I.
We would ride to competitions together...share a super fun drives to University Nationals to cheer on our own Coach Pete (who won Nationals EVERY year he competed-we were lucky to have such a great coach).
I remember discussing with Cammy and River virginity.
That's right I guess I'm really not going to hold back.
I was a panickier and always thought of worse case scenario (though I would NEVER imagine a scenario that actually ended up occurring).
I remember talking to them who both had boyfriends (Cammy's stoner boyfriend) at the time and were considering doing "it".
I was adamantly against it (even though it really had nothing to do with me).
I remembered all the points we discussed in 9th Grade health class.
I was like you could get an STD! You could get Pregnant! You could get an STD AND PREGNANT!
What if your parents found out?!
What if your boyfriend broke up with you after?!
It was pretty much a bad situation (from my 16 year old perspective).
Cammy and River were more worried about options for birth control etc.
I didn't see it coming...I thought okay....seriously it is hard to you tampons and a penis has got to be more like at least width of a sausage (obviously I had not seen an actual penis is real life at this point).
How would that EVER fit in there?!
And it had to hurt! All the teen magazines said it hurt and didn't feel good the first few times.
And there can be blood? Would the boy find that gross? How much blood were they talking about exactly?
All and all it sounded like a bad idea.
I remember thinking too ....wow how could these girls really think about doing this.
So first River lost her V-card (what we called our Virginity).
I do have to say she was responsible about it.
She went to the woman's clinic downtown to get free birth control.
The clinic didn't tell your parents and you could get physicals and STD checking at no cost.
She said it doing "it" was okay and was getting better but more importantly her boyfriend really liked to hang out with her way more. (Hmmm I wonder why...oh well we all make our decision at some point I guess).
I remember a car ride home with just Cammy one time and I was like "I'm kind of mad a River after all that discussion and she goes and does "it" like its no big deal. And its still totally risky behaviour."
Cammy was just talking with me and based on our conversation I thought she definitely didn't want to take the same route as River.
So later that month (it was November) and we had a half day at school for professional development for the teachers. I was going home to study for a test and I dropped off Cammy and her boyfriend at his house (which was like 2 blocks away from my house).
About an hour later I get a phone call ...its Cammy and she is crying.
Cammy: "You're going to be so mad at me"
Me: "huh...what? What's going on Cammy?"
Cammy: "I had sex and something is wrong?"
Me: "what ...what is going on...its hard to hear you...do you have the faucet on?"
Cammy: "Okay so today we were going to have sex for the 2nd time...and we did and it was okay and I mean I bleed the first time but I'm really bleeding now...and I think I should go to the woman's clinic can you come get me".
Me: "yea of course I'll be right there"
Cammy: "Teagan this is really embarrassing but I need you to bring me like tampons and a pads and underwear because mine is ruined and bloody"
Me: "no problem"
So I grab some things and head right there. She looks all pale and NOT good. So I give her the things she puts them on and a pair of splash pants (wind pants with cotton liner on) and we head out.
Cammy: "Teagan I'm bleeding really bad"
Me: "so should we call an ambulance? or go to hospital?"
Cammy: "No lets go to the woman's clinic I feel better going there."
So we drive (downtown is like 15/20minutes away).
When she gets out of the car she had bleed through tampon, 3 pads, underwear and splash pants onto the car seat...like bright red blood.
I sucked in a breath...this was a bad bad situation.
We walked in and she went straight to the bathroom.
I fill in paperwork and am holding her ID and the nurse is like take a seat.
I lost it...I burst into tears "we cannot take a seat...my best friend is dying...she is bleeding so much and is in the bathroom and she is terrified".
So the nurse follows me to the bathroom and Cammy is on the toilet and it sounds like she is peeing but she isn't.
They rush her to a room and call an ambulance and the doctor starts to literally pack her with rolled up gauze. She is crying and apologizing that I have to see her vagina...I'm like "look this is no big deal" and I'm holding her hand and trying not to cry in front of her. Ambulance gets there and takes her to the hospital and I follow the ambulance in my car so that we have a ride home (because at this point I still think we can keep this underwraps from her parents).
At the hospital I learned the laws you see she was 15 which means they have to call her parents.
At 16 they don't have to. Her birthday was in 8 days unfortunately.
The intake nurse gave me the option to call her parents and I was like "heck no! You please do it".
I just sat with her and waited for her parents to come.
Her boyfriend arrived first and I said to him "maybe you shouldn't be here when her parents get here."
Her parents arrived and they were so upset and I remember her mom crying and trying to give me gas money for driving Cammy to the hospital and I was like I can't take this.
River came to the hospital then and we went to eat something and wait to find out what happened to Cammy.
We stopped at a drugstore and bought her magazines and candy and lipgloss and things to try and make her feel better. From what I can remember they just diagnosed her with spontaneous hemorrhaging. They gave her an IV and ended up sending her home. Oh yea and no sex for 8 weeks. I though her parents were going to have a heart attack when the doctors said that.
I remember too because we had a cheerleading competition the following week and she couldn't get medical clearance to participate.
It must have been so difficult for her to watch us compete without her...and hard for us to.
I remember the little 9th grader that took her spot (and her uniform) shaking from the pressure to basically try and fill in for the star of our team. Thank goodness it was an early competition and didn't have too much bearing on our provincial/national standings.
That whole experience made me TERRIFIED of sex. Needless to say ...I never had sex in high school period. And from that point on we were very very close.
My birthday was like a week later...Cammy got me underwear.
We both laughed until we had tears in our eyes and gave each other a big hug.
To be continued...and back to the Ex's specifically
**If you are looking for MyExBoyfriendProject it is the Right side.** Those who know me know my love for things pop culture and reality tv. I love a good heroine and girl who comes out on top...because I want to. Once a girl named Lauren chose a boy over an intership in Paris. I have made similar misguided mistakes...but Lauren made it to Paris (a year later). I hope to make it to my Paris (both literally and not). Here are my struggles, wants, wishes, hopes and fears as I make it there.
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Wow. That is a scary thing to go through in high school. I hope more high school girls see this! There is a great lesson in this story.
ReplyDeleteYes it was very scary for sure.
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