Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Last Thursday Night Fun aka Date Number Eight

So Wednesday was a whirlwind (read here).
Thursday I was up and off for another day filled with interviews.
I met with two clinics that are basically Option One versus Option Two.

Option One actually has a base salary (albeit a meager barely scrape by and probably only for 6 months).
It is a very intimidating option sort of working with a bunch of bigwigs in essentially a boys club and not at all in my specialty (thereby blowing my usual advantageous knowledge base especially compared to their knowledge base). 

Option Two is another clinic that is in a perfect beautiful location (possibly even better then the DreamJob one) and with two women who also focus in my specialty and therefore my confidence is really there.  But it is straight commission based.

So there is my I pick the more stable and bigwig intimidating job where I will learn a ton but will likely play on my insecurities of smaller knowledge and definitely an area I will have to prove myself and try and penetrate a bigboys club and not do anything with my specialty...OR do I pick what my passion is but there is a definite lag in time to support myself (ie. could not move to the TDot soon) and a substantially lower ceiling in terms of earnings.

I had the Option One Meeting in the early afternoon where I met the CEO and boy was that super intimidating but I think I held my own.  Option Two Meeting was at 6:30pm and was three blocks from where MM lives so that led to another ideal meeting time.  He was also really sweet during the day and let me know he was excited to be able to hang out two days in a row (seriously I think that is so great to say that).  So I went directly from my last Option Two meeting and headed to his place.
My head was jumbled and stressed.
I felt like I was on the brink of some sort of decision.
And it has been such a LONG time coming...and I'm on the brink of moving to the TDot and starting my career job.
I felt overwhelmed and excited and nervous and slightly worried.
It just marks such a pinnacle and turning point in my life.
I was just jumping from one thought to another.

So I picked him up and we left my car at his place so he could drive.
That may be a little thing but I love that.
I love that I can relax (despite feeling anxious about everything to do on the job front) and be a passenger and he takes us around in Toronto.

So we quickly fell into our chatty pattern.

We headed to Marche downtown...and as we were walking around all the awesome options.
Marche is almost set up cafeteria style but there are tons of delish fresh options.
They have pasta stations, paella stations, seafood, salads, bbq, wine, beer, desserts like crepes etc really anything you could possibly want.

I felt...totally just nauseous and it totally was from nerves and just being stressed over the whole job situation.
The thought of eating something at that moment was impossible.
I debated about faking it and pushing food around my plate.

Then I thought...I'm going to just try and be honest with MM (I guess he may as well get to know my sometimes anxious personality).
So I turned to him and said, "look I'm really REALLY sorry and this is hugely embarrassing and I  know you are probably starving but I'm actually super stressed and anxious about the whole job situation and I really cannot eat right now.  You can eat and I can watch but I really can not stomach food right now."
MM said "no problem...let's get out of here...grab a can tell me all about the job stuff and we can figure it all out and then we can go for dinner later."
I felt relieved and instantly better that I said something.

He was able to take a relatively embarrassing and stressedoutme situation and make me feel much much better.
We headed to a patio bar and grabbed a glass of wine.
He made me laugh so hard first at people watching (apparently it was in the financial district where it is known to be a huge high end pick up place/meat market on Thursdays)...who knew?

Sure enough guys were wearing their best suits and flashy ties
(purple seemed to be the power colour).
And the women were wearing their Christian Louboutins and very very tight dresses/skirts sort of like work but like dressed like the secretary you hope your significant other doesn't have haha.
I felt like we were watching a pickup session straight up out of Sex and the City...very much a place to see and be seen.

Needless to say it provided great entertainment and MM had me giggling over his descriptions of everyone.
It was just what I needed and we did get around to eventually talking about the job situation and we came to the conclusion that Option One is really the only viable one that enables me to live and support myself so I think it is option One (more about that later).

So we eventually headed out for dinner.
We opted out of Marche (I hope not because he thought I didn't just like it).
Then we headed to Yonge and Dundas square which always has a ton of stuff going on.
We chose a patio again this time up on a fourth floor which was super cool and gave a great view (you have to take advantage when you can in the frozen arctic tundra of Canada).
And ordered food and had more talks.

Then I made my moves...maybe it was the two glasses of wine on an empty stomach haha.
I touched his hand 3 times.
Then I left it there and he grabbed it and we totally held hands for like 15 minutes!
Yes my friends...I'm a perpetual teenager and I'm completely excited about this.
Before we realized was after midnight and I had to head to Val's to crash.
So we ended our night with a hug.
And that was my Thursday night fun.

Pics from here, here, here, here, here,

More Interviews, Work Procrastination and Lucky Date Number Seven?

So I guess I will start to recap maybe a little more detail of MM and well of what has been going on with life etc.  I think...

So on Wednesday I had another new interview .
And not to be cocky but I have now had 8 interviews and been offered 7 positions.
Which should make me happy right?
Instead I'm just frustrated at the prospects.
Mainly because the money is what feels so wrong.

I have officially turned down 2, have to turn down 3 more (they are pending partly because I hate confrontation and rejecting people, and partly because it is eliminating options).
I have two possibilities, that I will touch on later.

So Wednesday I had an interview that went really well.
The cool thing about it is that I realized it was 5 minutes away from Eva's work.
So I quickly BBMd here and made sure she was there.
The AMAZING thing about being in the TDot (of a zillion reasons) is that I get to do stuff like this.
Stopping by Eva's place.

So I stopped by a florist and bakery to get some treats for her.
I haven't seen her since their fabulous wedding (read here).
I got her some of my favourite flowers in my favourite colours...k that sounds selfish at first but myself and her have the EXACT same taste.
Then I thought I would get some fun cupcakes for her and her staff.
It is so awesome to be able to surprise her and hang out.

So I hung out in the back sharing cupcakes and talking about MM.
If you remember it is Eva who wanted us to meet/responsible for the setup.
We were chatting away and she said,  "you know when I met him I just thought of you...maybe it is the slight dorkiness/fashion/happy/smart/pop culture combo in him that made me think instantly of you."

Good thing I was there so she could help me pick the outfit for that night's date with MM.
I was explaining to her that it was really nice that he had done so many nice things for me that I wanted to do something nice for him.
Eva quickly came up with a plan (she is great at coming up with plans).

First, I was supposed to hug him and kiss him on the cheek when I first saw him.
Her would open the door for a goodbye kiss and it was unexpected.
Second,I could get him something for his also soon to be job switch (as he is likely leaving his company and has also been going on interviews recently...we do have a ridiculous amount in common).
We brainstormed and we thought of a Texas mickey of Grey Goose (his drink of choice).
And no card because it is too soon...but I should "say" a card.
Also I should present it like...I thought we could have a celebratory drink before going out for dinner....which would lead to more flirting etc over drinks.
That was the plan...

Instead when I got to his place I chickened out of a kiss on the cheek and instead sort of awkwardly presented him the bottle of GreyGoose and said "I got this for you" ..awkward pause..."ummm for the new job".  He seemed happy with it and said I didn't have to but it was very sweet of me.
So instead of coming off cool as Eva had wanted I instead presented him a bottle of liquor in a mumbly type yea that didn't come off quite as anticipated.

Then we headed out for dinner at a place called Mercatto.

Cool fact the executive chef there is currently in the top four of TopChef Canada (yes the Canadian spin off of TopChef). 
I thought it was GORGEOUS inside.
It was Italian (which is probably my fav).
MM has this fun habit of us scanning the appetizer menu and making sure we like everything and then asking our server to pick two for us.
Part surprise and part fun I actually really really enjoy this.
Then we split one of their pizzas which they are known for.
As we were eating Val messaged me.
And we arranged to head towards her area in the TDot for after dinner drinks.

It was the first time MM was hanging with one of my friends
(well he knew Eva from meeting her before).
It was great and enjoyable and we had drinks on a cool little patio.
All three of us were chatter boxes just laughing and enjoying ourselves.
I remember thinking...I think I belong here.
And that was a really nice thing to think after the craziness of this year.

Then we went home and there were hugs all around so therefore definitely no time for a kiss or that awkward pausing that sometimes happens well happens EVERYtime with MM and me.
Val gave him a more in depth thumbs up that was good.
We chatted for a bit before crashing out.
And that was last Wednesday...

Pics from here, and my cell phone

Monday, June 27, 2011

Chapter X-50: Unanswered messages from a broken record

So remember when I wrote here about my mission to stop talking to Jacob on the 24th???
I did and that conversation is here.
Before you freak out I totally have!!! No responses what so ever.
And it has been way easier then I thought despite his persistence...and boy has he ever been persistent.

So this post is meant to show you how strong willed I'm being.
And the evidence of Karma.
Because I stopped speaking to him on the 24th and by the 28th someone interesting walked into my life (MM but I'm not getting ahead of myself may be nothing...I'm trying not to get too excited about it and go slow).

So without further ado I present the unanswered Jacob messages.

This is part a little of a pat on the back to me for not responding.
And part of a questioning…how is someone engaged and doing this? to me
show details May 27
3:39 PM Jacob: hi

Date: Fri, May 27, 2011 at 4:52 PM
Subject: Chat with Jacob
To: Teagan
4:52 PM Jacob: hi to me
show details May 28

3:00 PM Jacob: hi
3:20 PM have a good weekend
(coincidentally this was the weekend of Eva’s wedding (read here)…and Jacob knew that)

From: Jacob
Date: Sun, May 29, 2011 at 10:39 AM
Subject: Chat with Jacob
To: Teagan
10:39 AM Jacob: hi

From: Jacob
Date: Sun, May 29, 2011 at 3:06 PM
Subject: Chat with Jacob
To: Teagan
3:06 PM Jacob: hi

From: Jacob
Date: Sun, May 29, 2011 at 4:27 PM
Subject: Chat with Jacob
To: Teagan
4:27 PM Jacob: hi

From: Jacob
Date: Sun, May 29, 2011 at 9:17 PM
Subject: Chat with Jacob
To: Teagan
9:17 PM Jacob: hi to me
show details May 30

11:36 AM Jacob: hi

8 minutes
11:45 AM Jacob: are u there
  if u dont want to communicate just respond and I wont
(guess he doesn’t get that idea so far of me not answering him in 6 days). to me
show details May 31

11:42 AM Jacob: hi
12:32 PM zuzu? to me
show details May 31

4:30 PM Jacob: hi to me
show details Jun 1

11:16 AM Jacob: hi to me
show details Jun 1

3:15 PM Jacob: hi
3:24 PM ? to me
show details Jun 2

1:47 PM Jacob: hi
2:31 PM Teagan? to me
show details Jun 2

5:18 PM Jacob: hi
5:40 PM zuzu? to me
show details Jun 3

12:40 PM Jacob: hi to me
show details Jun 3

2:45 PM Jacob: Teagan? to me
show details Jun 3

5:45 PM Jacob: zuzu?? to me
show details Jun 4

8:29 AM Jacob: hi to me
show details Jun 4

12:56 PM Jacob: can we talk
Jacob to me
show details Jun 4

5:40 PM Jacob: hi to me
show details Jun 4

10:32 PM Jacob: hi
10:36 PM are u there to me
show details Jun 5

1:28 PM Jacob: hey
1:40 PM zuzu to me
show details Jun 5

3:14 PM Jacob: hey to me
show details Jun 6

3:45 PM Jacob: hi
4:44 PM Teagan to me
show details Jun 7

11:31 AM Jacob: hi to me
show details Jun 8

3:49 PM Jacob: hi
4:19 PM ? to me
show details Jun 8

5:54 PM Jacob: zuzu to me
show details Jun 8

7:13 PM Jacob: hi

Chapter X-49: Final Conversation

May 24th 2011
Our final conversation (as per my new quit date and instructions (read here)
It was the point where I had to realize that
1. This was not good for me.
2. He had a fiancée yet was still carrying on this crazy inappropriate conversation
3. I needed to move on with my life

I was somewhat worried about the conversation that we were about to have.
I didn't know what I was going to say or how to bring it up...but I didn't have to because my lack of response that day led him to this...

 Jacob: do u not want to talk anymore
4:25 PM me: I feel like I will only end up hurt in the end
  And that is unfair
4:27 PM Jacob: then we dont have to talk
 me: K
 Jacob: that’s what u say all the time
  I’m saying that because of yr response
 me: I don't think it is weird not to want get hurt
4:29 PM But if you think that too then may as well stop now
 Jacob: then we can stop if that’s what u think
This actually makes me mad...because AGAIN he doesn't man up and make a is left up to me to do this and break things off (as it has been in the past).
4:30 PM me: I don't want to get hurt again
  And it seems like that is what u are saying
4:32 PM Jacob: i don’t know what to say
 me: K
4:33 PM Jacob: talk or not?
His indecisiveness is enough to make me want to rip my hair out!
4:35 PM me: What option hurts me less?
 Jacob: not talking i guess
4:37 PM me: Ouch
  Well at least you are being honest

5 minutes
4:42 PM Jacob: idk what u should do
4:43 PM me: K
4:45 PM Jacob: ?
4:47 PM me: Don't worry about me
4:48 PM Jacob: what do u mean
4:49 PM me: I think you have broken my heart enough times I would have figured it out by now but clearly I haven’t
Here’s were Captain obvious delivers the blow…
 Jacob: I’m with someone
4:50 PM me: K

6 minutes
This made me so REALLY??? REALLY??? you are with someone and this is how you behave???  Then you throw it in my face?!?!?!
4:56 PM me: Maybe you should consider that before saying the things you say
4:57 PM Jacob: we are both at fault
This statement made me steaming mad…like really??? We are both at fault…the last I checked I wasn’t in a relationship…but then I guess I was at fault knowing his situation…my excuse (though poor) is that I was in such a deep dark place and he was familiar and comfortable and saying all the right things

5 minutes
5:02 PM me: K
5:03 PM Jacob: right?

32 minutes
5:35 PM Jacob: ?

I thought he didn’t deserve a response…I was mad…and thinking that I just need to move on.  That was the last day I responded to him.
But not the last day I heard from him...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

BWW: The Hunger Games/Catching Fire/Mockingjay

Okay this has definitely happened to me before...
I loved both the Harry Potter and Twilight franchise.
Loved the books and the movies simply because you get to SEE what you have read.

I think it is so funny that I cannot remember at all what I must have pictured before the movies came out.
Because when I reread the books or think of characters they are now burned into my head as the actors who portray them.
Since there is already crazy obsessive media coverage surrounding The Hunger Games already I already have a decent image of the characters ie. Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss.

So I can't say I officially "read" the books because instead I got the audio books.
Well for two reasons.
#1- I was like 264 on the list of holds at the library.
#2- I am doing a TON of boring driving back and forth between the TDot and it helps the drive go by.  I had been putting off reading them for awhile because there was almost too much hype I thought.

However I have LOVED them.
I don't think it is too "spoilery" to tell you the things I like about it.
  • It is vampires/wizards etc.  However, this does make me a little worried now for the onslaught of similarly themed books that are sure to come out as well.
  • Main character is a girl.  Not a girl sidekick and not a girl that is incomplete until a boy saves her.  This is pretty refreshing.
  • A movie is already in the works so I have that to look forward to.  And the casting to me seems VERY reminiscent of Harry Potter with the casting of the adults being amazing and the children being not super popular yet (well I guess you could now consider Jennifer Lawrence popular).

    The two main boys that form the sort of must needed love triangle.  I believe they date Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus respectively.
    I LOVE Stanley Tucci (hello The Devil Wears Prada?!) and Lenny Kravitz (hmmm didn't know he acted) and Woody is perfect for the character he is playing.
    Classic actor for the very scary President Snow.
    Most of the kiddos are unknown or stuntmen/women/kids...really.
  • Pretty adventuresome with some great twists that I have not read before.
  • The high adventure is centred around kids but has a definite violence to it that I'm curious to see how they handle it.  In fact when I look at the casting I'm reminded how YOUNG the kids are that are involved in some scary stuff.
  • The nerdy part of me loves the new vocabulary and things that will soon probably be a recognizable part of cultural vocabulary...trackerjackers, mutts, districts, tributes, the hob, the games, etc.
  • The onslaught of merchandising to be had...even though I have never personally bought a Potter wand or cuff with a Cullen family crest logo on it I secretly enjoy seeing what they come out with.  Especially in SkyMall haha.
  • Hopefully this will also elcicit an interest in archery.  I know this is so random to be excited for something but anything that maybe would interest kids in different sports I think is always a bonus. 
So overall A++ I definitely recommend.
Happy Reading and "May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor!"

Pics from here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here