Thursday I was up and off for another day filled with interviews.
I met with two clinics that are basically Option One versus Option Two.
Option One actually has a base salary (albeit a meager barely scrape by and probably only for 6 months).
It is a very intimidating option sort of working with a bunch of bigwigs in essentially a boys club and not at all in my specialty (thereby blowing my usual advantageous knowledge base especially compared to their knowledge base).
Option Two is another clinic that is in a perfect beautiful location (possibly even better then the DreamJob one) and with two women who also focus in my specialty and therefore my confidence is really there. But it is straight commission based.
So there is my dilemma...do I pick the more stable and bigwig intimidating job where I will learn a ton but will likely play on my insecurities of smaller knowledge and definitely an area I will have to prove myself and try and penetrate a bigboys club and not do anything with my specialty...OR do I pick what my passion is but there is a definite lag in time to support myself (ie. could not move to the TDot soon) and a substantially lower ceiling in terms of earnings.
I had the Option One Meeting in the early afternoon where I met the CEO and boy was that super intimidating but I think I held my own. Option Two Meeting was at 6:30pm and was three blocks from where MM lives so that led to another ideal meeting time. He was also really sweet during the day and let me know he was excited to be able to hang out two days in a row (seriously I think that is so great to say that). So I went directly from my last Option Two meeting and headed to his place.
My head was jumbled and stressed.
I felt like I was on the brink of some sort of decision.
And it has been such a LONG time coming...and I'm on the brink of moving to the TDot and starting my career job.
I felt overwhelmed and excited and nervous and slightly worried.
It just marks such a pinnacle and turning point in my life.
I was just jumping from one thought to another.
So I picked him up and we left my car at his place so he could drive.
That may be a little thing but I love that.
I love that I can relax (despite feeling anxious about everything to do on the job front) and be a passenger and he takes us around in Toronto.
So we quickly fell into our chatty pattern.
We headed to Marche downtown...and as we were walking around all the awesome options.
Marche is almost set up cafeteria style but there are tons of delish fresh options.
They have pasta stations, paella stations, seafood, salads, bbq, wine, beer, desserts like crepes etc really anything you could possibly want.
I felt...totally queasy...like just nauseous and it totally was from nerves and just being stressed over the whole job situation.
The thought of eating something at that moment was impossible.
I debated about faking it and pushing food around my plate.
Then I thought...I'm going to just try and be honest with MM (I guess he may as well get to know my sometimes anxious personality).
So I turned to him and said, "look I'm really REALLY sorry and this is hugely embarrassing and I know you are probably starving but I'm actually super stressed and anxious about the whole job situation and I really cannot eat right now. You can eat and I can watch but I really can not stomach food right now."
MM said "no problem...let's get out of here...grab a drink...you can tell me all about the job stuff and we can figure it all out and then we can go for dinner later."
I felt relieved and instantly better that I said something.
He was able to take a relatively embarrassing and stressedoutme situation and make me feel much much better.
We headed to a patio bar and grabbed a glass of wine.
He made me laugh so hard first at people watching (apparently it was in the financial district where it is known to be a huge high end pick up place/meat market on Thursdays)...who knew?
Sure enough guys were wearing their best suits and flashy ties
(purple seemed to be the power colour).
And the women were wearing their Christian Louboutins and very very tight dresses/skirts sort of like work but like dressed like the secretary you hope your significant other doesn't have haha.
I felt like we were watching a pickup session straight up out of Sex and the City...very much a place to see and be seen.
It was just what I needed and we did get around to eventually talking about the job situation and we came to the conclusion that Option One is really the only viable one that enables me to live and support myself so I think it is option One (more about that later).
So we eventually headed out for dinner.
We opted out of Marche (I hope not because he thought I didn't just like it).
Then we headed to Yonge and Dundas square which always has a ton of stuff going on.
We chose a patio again this time up on a fourth floor which was super cool and gave a great view (you have to take advantage when you can in the frozen arctic tundra of Canada).
And ordered food and had more talks.
Then I made my moves...maybe it was the two glasses of wine on an empty stomach haha.
I touched his hand 3 times.
Then I left it there and he grabbed it and we totally held hands for like 15 minutes!
Yes my friends...I'm a perpetual teenager and I'm completely excited about this.
Before we realized it...it was after midnight and I had to head to Val's to crash.
So we ended our night with a hug.
And that was my Thursday night fun.
Pics from here, here, here, here, here,