Simmering

So today I had the offer meeting with the one job I was hopeful for (read here).
And seriously my blood was boiling afterwards.
I'm sure my chest and face was scarlet as I left the building.

So I already had to decline the DreamJob.
I was excited because I thought I would be a great fit at this job too.
And I also received two other offers last night via email
(well offers that are again a percentage no guaranteed income, etc. therefore I don't want to take them).
So I was excited to see what this person had to say.

The offer...
30K no vacation, and no benefits.
She told me to consider it an investment (I would be eligable after a year for a straight percentage...again still no guarantee).
In my head I was yelling...my 8 years and 6 figures worth of education was my investment.
Instead I said that "the barrier for me to accept this job is strickly financial" and I thanked her for her time.
And cursed the whole way back to the car (in my head).

What a waste of a 4 hour round trip.
What a waste of gas money.
But mostly I'm secretly terrified at this being what is the "standard".
I can't wrap my head around it.
It makes NO sense to me.

Granted I suppose I am to blame.
When I was 16 and I made the decision to do what I did.
I didn't look at the actual numbers.
I mean I looked at the average income statistics (which was more than double what I've been offered thus far) but didn't see how it actually fully worked.
I'm really just baffled at the whole situation.

I'm back at my dad's office "working" trying to work from a boil to just a simmer.
My dad said "well it looks like you ARE staying here in (insert my hometown)"...which made me want to scream.
Trying to stay positive that maybe there will be better in the next 3 interviews I have scheduled before Monday.
Trying to just breathe.
Trying to let go of the anger and frustration I'm feeling.




Pic from here