Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Chapter X-49: Final Conversation


May 24th 2011
Our final conversation (as per my new quit date and instructions (read here)
It was the point where I had to realize that
1. This was not good for me.
2. He had a fiancée yet was still carrying on this crazy inappropriate conversation
3. I needed to move on with my life

I was somewhat worried about the conversation that we were about to have.
I didn't know what I was going to say or how to bring it up...but I didn't have to because my lack of response that day led him to this...

 Jacob: do u not want to talk anymore
4:25 PM me: I feel like I will only end up hurt in the end
  And that is unfair
4:27 PM Jacob: then we dont have to talk
 me: K
 Jacob: that’s what u say all the time
  I’m saying that because of yr response
 me: I don't think it is weird not to want get hurt
4:29 PM But if you think that too then may as well stop now
 Jacob: then we can stop if that’s what u think
This actually makes me mad...because AGAIN he doesn't man up and make a decision...it is left up to me to do this and break things off (as it has been in the past).
4:30 PM me: I don't want to get hurt again
  And it seems like that is what u are saying
4:32 PM Jacob: i don’t know what to say
 me: K
4:33 PM Jacob: talk or not?
His indecisiveness is enough to make me want to rip my hair out!
4:35 PM me: What option hurts me less?
 Jacob: not talking i guess
4:37 PM me: Ouch
  Well at least you are being honest

5 minutes
4:42 PM Jacob: idk what u should do
4:43 PM me: K
4:45 PM Jacob: ?
4:47 PM me: Don't worry about me
4:48 PM Jacob: what do u mean
4:49 PM me: I think you have broken my heart enough times I would have figured it out by now but clearly I haven’t
Here’s were Captain obvious delivers the blow…
 Jacob: I’m with someone
4:50 PM me: K

6 minutes
This made me so upset...like REALLY??? REALLY??? you are with someone and this is how you behave???  Then you throw it in my face?!?!?!
4:56 PM me: Maybe you should consider that before saying the things you say
4:57 PM Jacob: we are both at fault
This statement made me steaming mad…like really??? We are both at fault…the last I checked I wasn’t in a relationship…but then I guess I was at fault knowing his situation…my excuse (though poor) is that I was in such a deep dark place and he was familiar and comfortable and saying all the right things

5 minutes
5:02 PM me: K
5:03 PM Jacob: right?

32 minutes
5:35 PM Jacob: ?

I thought he didn’t deserve a response…I was mad…and thinking that I just need to move on.  That was the last day I responded to him.
But not the last day I heard from him...

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