**If you are looking for MyExBoyfriendProject it is the Right side.** Those who know me know my love for things pop culture and reality tv. I love a good heroine and girl who comes out on top...because I want to. Once a girl named Lauren chose a boy over an intership in Paris. I have made similar misguided mistakes...but Lauren made it to Paris (a year later). I hope to make it to my Paris (both literally and not). Here are my struggles, wants, wishes, hopes and fears as I make it there.
Trip to see Taylor!!!!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Chapter X-49: Final Conversation
May 24th 2011
Our final conversation (as per my new quit date and instructions (read here)
It was the point where I had to realize that
1. This was not good for me.
2. He had a fiancée yet was still carrying on this crazy inappropriate conversation
3. I needed to move on with my life
I was somewhat worried about the conversation that we were about to have.
I didn't know what I was going to say or how to bring it up...but I didn't have to because my lack of response that day led him to this...
Jacob: do u not want to talk anymore
4:25 PM me: I feel like I will only end up hurt in the end
And that is unfair
4:27 PM Jacob: then we dont have to talk
Jacob: that’s what u say all the time
I’m saying that because of yr response
me: I don't think it is weird not to want get hurt
4:29 PM But if you think that too then may as well stop now
Jacob: then we can stop if that’s what u think
This actually makes me mad...because AGAIN he doesn't man up and make a decision...it is left up to me to do this and break things off (as it has been in the past).
4:30 PM me: I don't want to get hurt again
And it seems like that is what u are saying
4:32 PM Jacob: i don’t know what to say
4:33 PM Jacob: talk or not?
His indecisiveness is enough to make me want to rip my hair out!
4:35 PM me: What option hurts me less?
Jacob: not talking i guess
4:37 PM me: Ouch
Well at least you are being honest
4:42 PM Jacob: idk what u should do
4:43 PM me: K
4:45 PM Jacob: ?
4:47 PM me: Don't worry about me
4:48 PM Jacob: what do u mean
4:49 PM me: I think you have broken my heart enough times I would have figured it out by now but clearly I haven’t
Here’s were Captain obvious delivers the blow…
Jacob: I’m with someone
4:50 PM me: K
This made me so upset...like REALLY??? REALLY??? you are with someone and this is how you behave??? Then you throw it in my face?!?!?!
4:56 PM me: Maybe you should consider that before saying the things you say
4:57 PM Jacob: we are both at fault
This statement made me steaming mad…like really??? We are both at fault…the last I checked I wasn’t in a relationship…but then I guess I was at fault knowing his situation…my excuse (though poor) is that I was in such a deep dark place and he was familiar and comfortable and saying all the right things
5:02 PM me: K
5:03 PM Jacob: right?
5:35 PM Jacob: ?
I thought he didn’t deserve a response…I was mad…and thinking that I just need to move on. That was the last day I responded to him.