This is something that all my closest friends have also told me...and as things get put out there sometimes it is further inforced. I was checking out what is becoming one of my favourite blogs...they had been reading this article and then did the test. It was an article based on the attachement theory and gives you a fun quiz to find out your attachment style. I did it and answered with exactly how I feel at this point in time (and fully realizing too that I'm not in the same place. So I did the same thing...hey isn't copying the sincerest form of flaterry??? Here were my results (which aren't a big shocker).
Thank you for completing the Close Relationships Questionnaire/Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised Questionnaire. This questionnaire is designed to measure your attachment style--the way you relate to others in the context of intimate relationships. As you might suspect, people differ greatly in the ways in which they approach close relationships. For example, some people are comfortable opening up to others emotionally, whereas others are reluctant to allow themselves to depend on others.
According to attachment theory and research, there are two fundamental ways in which people differ from one another in the way they think about relationships. First, some people are more anxious than others. People who are high in attachment-related anxiety tend to worry about whether their partners really love them and often fear rejection. People low on this dimension are much less worried about such matters. Second, some people are more avoidant that others. People who are high in attachment-related avoidance are less comfortable depending on others and opening up to others.
According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 6.00, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 1.67, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance).
We have plotted your two scores in the two-dimensional space defined by attachment-related anxiety and avoidance. Your approximate position in this space is denoted by the blue dot. (Note: If you left any of the questions unanswered, then these scores will be inaccurate.)
According to attachment theory and research, there are two fundamental ways in which people differ from one another in the way they think about relationships. First, some people are more anxious than others. People who are high in attachment-related anxiety tend to worry about whether their partners really love them and often fear rejection. People low on this dimension are much less worried about such matters. Second, some people are more avoidant that others. People who are high in attachment-related avoidance are less comfortable depending on others and opening up to others.
According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 6.00, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 1.67, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance).
We have plotted your two scores in the two-dimensional space defined by attachment-related anxiety and avoidance. Your approximate position in this space is denoted by the blue dot. (Note: If you left any of the questions unanswered, then these scores will be inaccurate.)
As you can see in this graph, the two dimensions of anxiety and avoidance can be combined to create interesting combinations of attachment styles. For example people who are low in both attachment-related anxiety and avoidance are generally considered secure because they don't typically worry about whether their partner's are going to reject them and they are comfortable being emotionally close to others.
Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the preoccupied quadrant. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that preoccupied people tend to have highly conflictual relationships. Although they are comfortable expressing their emotions, preoccupied individuals often experience a lot of negative emotions, which can often interfere with their relationships.
Since the mid-1980's, a lot of research has been conducted on attachment styles. To learn more about this research, please visit this link. Thank you again for visiting this site.
For more on-line personality and relationship tests, please visit yourPersonality.net
For more on-line personality and relationship tests, please visit yourPersonality.net
So I totally agree with it right now. I think I do have high anxiety at this point especially. I suppose it is okay since I have low avoidance. Either way it is something I can focus and work on myself to become a better person. Also, what I gathered from reading the article is finding someone who compliments your attaachment style would be something to consider. I do know that I have great friends who love me and think I am a wonderful person but aren't afraid to kick me in the butt when I need it. So I will continue to learn more about myself and try to become a better person.
xoxo
Teagan
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ReplyDeleteOops - was signed into my non blogging account. Since I'm thinking the comment was emailed to you and you'll see the details, any way, I made this one shorter :) .
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting assessment. Somehow I clicked on the wrong link and pulled up a questionnaire that assessed and graphs the relationships with the parents and best friend compared with a significant other. I did the one you did after, when I realized it, but I feel like the first one I did was more accurate. Here's the link to that quiz: http://www.yourpersonality.net/relstructures/
I did see the details :) And Im so glad you included the link about the other test so I can do that too and then blog about it haha. Thanks :) So interesting especially the results with the different people in your life I'm super excited to try this one.
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