Pulling up my socks

Okay so enough of being an Emerald Eyed Girl (see here for the reference).
I found myself feeling kind of bummed since then.
Sliding back and retreating into my hermit like depression...as in I want to spend this weekend in bed with the covers over my head hiding from life.
But sometimes you just have to force yourself out to just continue on...
I feel like a coach would tell me to "dig deep".
Even though right now that is the last thing I want to do.
I'm tired of being strong and pulling up my socks.
Why can't I go on a tyraid?
Why can't I just rage a la Avril in her song What the Hell???

I feel like hopping on a plane and backpacking Europe or South America and just getting really lost.
Seriously...but then I come back to reality.
How NOT pheasable this is...
and how much the girls would kick my ass if I ran away to another country (again).
I just am so OVER my life.  I guess I'm stuck in the 6 week wait of what will happen (awaiting test results from this test taking trip).

Anywho back to digging deep so here are some ways I'm trying to "keep calm and carry on"...

• I asked my best guy friend probably ever but technically from Graduate school (who happens to live just across the border in MI) to be my date for Eva's Wedding.  He doesn't need a name or colour because we are best buddies with nothing ever between us.  Sort of like Lucas and Haley from One Tree Hill (yea for getting to throw in a OTH reference). 

But its true we started sitting beside each other in the first semester and three years (our school was three years year round versus four with summers) later we were still inseperable.  After graduating we talked frequently and made it a point to hang out at least once a year.  He took me to my first US College Football game and he had dinner with my parents and me literally hours before I moved to Asia.  Hmmm maybe my best buddy deserves a whole post about him...or at least a pseudoname...let's go with Will becuase he kind of resembles Will Ferrell (except better looking).  He didn't let me know yet if this is cool (being my wedding plus one) because I know he does have a girlfriend.

• Tomorrow I'm making the drive to Toronto to hang out with Val, Jane and Jane's husband and stay over night.  Though when tthey first invited me I was like no (because clearly I am wayyyy too busy being bummed!) I just forced myself 5 minutes ago to confirm I would be there much to my own dismay. 
• I'm spinning (see here) more when I feel sad I need to just MOVE again because me and inactivity do not go well together plus I'm seriously heaviest I've ever been but that's for another b*tchblog...I figure readers can only handle so much complaining.
• I'm debating about just not going to the bridal shower and baby shower in March.  Main reason is (not just my jealousy) but my entire family will be there and I just don't know how to manage.  My cousin Bella will be at the baby shower (it's her brothers first baby with his wife...the ones who had that Christmas party that I ended up not going to).  I really REALLY do not feel like going.  It doesn't seem pleasant at all but then the guilt train pulls up to the station.  They both came to the engagement party and gave us gifts etc.  As did their parents etc.  So do I go or not go?  I have a judgemental  huge family (my mom has 5 brothers and sisters, my dad has 6 sibilings and there are like gazillion first cousins you get the idea).
• I finally got my mom a birthday gift but that will be a blog post for sure in itself.

So basically I'm trying to do things that will keep me from reverting back to being a Hermit...after all I would much rather be like this...

then like this...

Here I go...

Pictures from:  http://www.busyboo.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/small-house-hermit-cabin.jpg, http://www.cherrygrrl.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/sex-and-the-city1.jpg, http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Haley---Lucas-haley--26-lucas-322389_500_282.jpg,