My Pit

Canada is a good country to be from.

It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective.
Paul Anka

Apparently I didn't inherit this trait.  I feel like I have crap-ola perspective.

Okay so my PIT (my reference to the Kardashians who at dinner their late father used to ask them the PIT (worst) and PEAK (best) part of their day)...I will save my PEAK until the end of the day...another post.  Heck this post is negative/venting/and very sad.  Heck I just want to scream and pout (pic from 1)!

I certainly could use a change in perspective.  Warning this is a venting post...This morning I awoke to my brother pounding on my door.  Saying he needed a ride to work because my dad's small low to the ground car couldn't get through the snow...and I was like what?!?!?! It has been raining all week and with the warmER temperatures the snow was almost all gone and we could finally see grass poking through.  Well I guess we got a huge dumping of snow overnight. 


Now its like a blizzard in the middle of March.  So I get out of bed 2 hours earlier then usual to head into the office.  Power is out from the storm so it took much longer to get to work because people don't get how downed power intersections are to be treated like four way stops.  So my 30 minute commute turned into an hour commute.  And I just grumble to myself because last year at this time my decisions were basically whether to go to Indonesia or Malaysia for a weekend trip with friends.  Our biggest concern was whether we could get spiced rum versus regular rum.  Now I'm here.  And EVERYthing has fallen apart.  And I'm hating my life.  I couldn't even read the darn menu board at Tim Horton's because of the crappy snow.  Look at this pic I took with my cell phone!

And I had to get my brother coffee and breakfast from Tim Horton's too (which I don't have in my budget...grumble grumble).I was supposed to escape early from the Baby Shower this Sunday (which is my first time out with my whole entire large European family ~read here~ since the demise of my engagement/pseudo-marriage) to go to Eva's new house in the TDot and take Monday off so we could have some girly time and do yoga.  I can't do that now strictly because if I don't work I don't get paid.  I have a ridiculous amount of expenses from my ridiculous circumstances.  So I'm bailing on Eva while having to endure the sure-to-be-hellish-baby-shower on Sunday.  I'm super pissed about this.  

Spencer didn't call/email/text like I was waiting on yesterday (see here).  I ended up sending him a text that said "Hey, just wondering if you had a chance to do any of the things we talked about?  Its the 10th today.  Teagan"  and ...no response.  So tonight I will sent him an email with the same kind of thing.  But I think I will just have to proceed and file for separation then divorce etc. here in Canada.  Though he did say he would take care of everything (LIAR!)

So I was in full process of a crapass mood and then.  One of my Ex's Pete (haven't even gotten to him yet!) showed up at my work.  Boy was that awkward I have seen him in ohhhh 8 years.  I look like hell (thanks to the early morning wake up call).  He is newly married/has a new house/basically life is perfect, while it appears that I'm back in Canada working as a receptionist...basically "living the dream" (I couldn't be more sarcastic).  

(TANGENT/SIDE NOTE/FORESHADOW...

hmmm will definitely have to include in the future

how I basically saw his entire wedding album

while I was meeting with photographers for

my upcoming wedding and it was so weird voyeuristic

I was about 10 shades of red

but didn't want to explain to the photographer

this was basically my high school sweetheart.)

So after way to many minutes of awkward small talk he said..."hey did you hear the sad news?"

Me: "uhhh no (thinking do you mean my horrible life??? because Yes I'm THAT self-absorbed).

Pete:  "remember Nathan?"

Me: "of course"

Pete: "he died two weeks ago"

Me: "what?!?!?!"

Pete: "yea of cancer"

Me: "oh my god that's horrible...his poor family"

Pete: "weird how things happen"

Me: "yea"

Thank goodness he then had to leave and I just sat back in my chair stunned.  I couldn't believe this.  I was shocked.  Someone who was so full of life...gone.  I haven't talked to him or seen him even in passing since this day (read here).  I just can't wrap my head around it.  I don't even know how to feel about it.

I'm seriously sitting here complaining about my life?  And I'm alive and healthy.  Wow do I feel like a horrible whiny prat (it's a UK word which resonates way stronger to me than brat).  I'm complaining about the cold and the snow and I just saw images that left me trembling from the Earthquake in Japan and then the tsunami's.  Just looking at these images takes my breath away.  How horrible!  This is awful. (pics from here, here, here, and here.)

I can't believe all the devastation...my thoughts and prayers are definitely towards the people in Japan and that there isn't tsunami repercussions all over the world.  I totally feel like shaking myself and I'm already kicking myself in the butt for being such a prat. I need to get a way better perspective on my life ASAP.  So later today I will talk about...MY PEAK (aka the things I should be happy/grateful about in my life/day).