Pseudo Stood Up?

Hey so I think I've been stood up.
Remember my first sort of...meh date with MrDentalSurgeon last Tuesday?
You can read about it here if you missed it.


So anywho at the end of last week when he asked to get together again for tonight I agreed.
I chatted with him almost daily since.
But then the last I heard from him was on Monday when he asked how my race went and if I had any pics from it (which I don't yet).


And then ...nothing.
And I honestly didn't really think about it yesterday.
But since I haven't heard from him all day tonight and it is currently 5:46pm I'm guessing I've been stood up.
(Last time he confirmed in the morning of what we were going to do).
Which in all reality if he doesn't even have the common courtesy to text a cancellation.
I've dodged a bullet.

Plus that opens up my schedule to talk to either MrPhD or MrConsultant tonight.
No biggie.
And in the amazing words of Charlotte York.

Pic from here

I'm really starting to believe this more and more.
I'm not sure I believe in the whole soulmate thing (as in a partner I'm "meant" to be with).
I starting to think a lot more along these lines now.
I don't mean that at all in an angry or bitter way.
Just something I'm coming to accept.

Scary Sunday

So Sunday I had this CRAZY day.
Because I had signed up to do something.
Only I was so terrified I didn't tell y'all about it.
Because I was worried about failing.


You see I enjoy working out.
However, I don't consider myself to be in great shape by any means.
I'm not an athlete with an amazing flat stomach (I'm talking about you SoMidwestern).
Or a fabulous swimmer with the best back/shoulder/tiny legs ever (like MrsArchitect).
Or just really the overall petite pretty package/amazing body of AustinSunDrops.


Anywho.
So I did something unthinkable for me.
I signed up for a 5K.

Not just any 5K but an obstacle 5K that seems to be all the rage right now.
The Best Obstacle Race Outside for 2012.
And one that actually penalizes you for incomplete obstacles.


The SpartanSprint.
I know I know what was I thinking?!?!
I hate dirt and mud.
I'm girly and I like sports that allow you to wear makeup!


I signed up with Val (who happens to be a phys ed teacher).
Which meant she would be really good.
So I was super worried about dragging her down.


She tried to calm me down.
We started with a BIG breakfast.

Took some ridiculous posing before shots.

And than the rain came SLAMMING down.
And as we shivered in line waiting for the start announcement.
I panicked.
I thought there is no way I can do this!


I dragged Val 2 hours north of Toronto to participate in something 
I'm not going to be able to complete.
And Val saw the look of panic in my eyes.
High fived me and said "we can do this".


And as I blinked through the pouring rain we started off.
And I thought.
Okay I can do this.

Then the hills started.
And I was going to fast.
And all of a sudden it was like my heart rate got too fast.
I totally gassed out within the first 2km!


And I couldn't.
And I panicked again.
And I was humiliated and frustrated and embarrassed.

And I thanked God for the rain because then you couldn't tell I was crying.
And as I sniffled and tried to pull myself together...
Val slowed her pace and said, 
"its okay just keep running, we'll go at whatever pace you need".
And I trudged.


And with each step I thought.
I can't do this.
I'm not made for this.
This is not what I'm into.


Then we got to the first obstacle.
Under netting dragged down with mud and leaves and rain and straight up hill.
And for every crawl step forward I seemed to slide down even more.


But I could hear Val ahead of me... "come on Teagan".
And with the first obstacle done I thought "okay here we go".
And as we knocked down the obstacles one by one. 
I grew a little stronger with each obstacle.


By the end I was exhausted and covered in mud.
And I almost didn't make it over the last obstacle.
Val literally yanked me over.


So so lucky to have an amazing friend like her.
And as I bowed my head to have a finisher's medal placed around my neck.
I practically sobbed (again good thing for the rain).
I did it.


I did what I thought I could not do.
All the way along I told myself I couldn't.
Then I did.


I had one of my best friend's Val by my side the whole time.
Even though she had to sacrifice her challenge for me.
(It was one of my worst fears...that I would drag her down.)


I know she sacrificed running her race so that I could complete mine.
I try not to let the guilt get to me.
Instead i'm trying to focus on... that is what true friend are made of.
And as I sit here with my banged, bruised and battered legs.

Gross evidence of a race.

I know I shouldn't be so afraid.
I should go for the things I want.
Even when I don't have faith in myself.
My ability is there.
It is within my grasp.
I just have to dig deep.
(And having a few good friends sure does help!)

Sunny Saturday

So Saturday came so quick!
I had a ton of running around to do before Laurel and her fiance's big backyard BBQ!
A rarity in Toronto to actually have a backyard.


So I had some shopping/prep work to do in the am.
And then I thought maybe I would be all Cupcakes and Cashmere and FINALLY try one of her recipes.
It was the one from this post.


It seemed to start off okay.
Okay so I'm sooooooooooooo not Cupcakes and Cashmere and totally ran out of time to make the tart crust...so I may have cheated a little.
Since I don't usually eat pie/tarts I can't tell you if it was good or not.

Before baking...

Poking holes in it (apparently VERY important).

Overpriced Vanilla I purchased on one of the trips to St.Lawrence Market with MrKent.
Seriously it was $22.90 for four pods of vanilla.
I'm a sucker what can I say.

Expensive pod.
But the first pod I actually scrapped by hand.
(I usually just use the extract).

 Baked crust.

Milk/Vanilla pod combo. 

 Sugar and corn starch (may have been the problem).
You see I think I followed the recipe to the letter.
Only instead of a vanilla infused pastry cream.
I ended up with a blobby gelatenous solid mass.
BUT unfortunately since I left it to the last minute.
I just forced/scrapped in somehow into the tart/pie crust.
Oops.

 3 eggs yolks.

 Fresh strawberries.

 Used an egg slicer to get even slices.
A TON messier than I thought.
Maybe the strawberries were too ripe.
But I sacrificed half that just sort of got mushed.

 I enjoyed the huller.
I think that is what it's called.

The final product LOOKED good.

But I'm not so sure it tasted that great.
Just turns out I'm not really a whiz in the baking department.
Certainly I'm no SoMidwestern or CupcakesandCashmere.
Oh well.  Note to self.
Just buy a dessert and save myself the headache/mess/cleanup AND it still cost me similar about the same as if I just purchased a dessert already made!


On the way to the BBQ I stopped to buy bananas, pineapple, cinnamon and ice cream to make grilled fruit because I was afraid of my botched dessert attempt.
Grrrrrrr.
Anywho the BBQ was fun.


So B was there.
Remember when he asked me for my number?  
I wrote about it way back in this post.
I can't remember if I even touched on the fact that I didn't want to pursue him because I like the CanadaCrew that I hung out with and didn't want things to get weird.
Also, I thought he was basically trying to "call dibs" before the other single guy.
Anywho the reason I bring it up is because at this BBQ there were two other single girls.
Both SUPER nice and I really like them.
Only when I found that B was flirting with one of them I got kind of jealous.
Weird right?
Hmmm maybe I shouldn't have just brushed off B.
Still hesitant though.


Maybe I should talk to Laurel and see what she thinks...
Anywho that was my Saturday day/night.
Because Sunday I had a BIG day.
That I will share with you tomorrow.
But it was pretty epic.
And it was definitely me WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY outside my comfort zone.
Until tomorrow...

Another First

Pic from here

As in another first date.
So on Tuesday I took a deep breath.
Threw on a cute dress and heels and walked nervously to my first date with MrDentalSurgeon.


Are you raising your eyebrow at me?
Yes MrDentalSurgeon does the same thing as MrDentist.
And both have similar dark features and a few other things in common.


Oh well.
I didn't want to hold it against him because really I hope no one would compare myself to anyone else either.
Well I guess MrKent did but whatever....wow this may just be a really b*tchy post.


Anywho.
We had exchanged a few messages/texts/phone calls.
So it was time to plan the date...so OBVIOUSLY I put the decisions on him.


He came up with three suggestions.
And they were 1. The Keg 2. Earl's 3. Jack Astor's.
And here is where I turn into a super b*tch.
And obviously none of the following things did I tell him 
(or else I think he would think I was a super snob!).
Oh yes AND these were in the order of what his preference would be.


Here are my thoughts.
First let me explain each one.


1. The Keg (I believe a Canadian chain though there are tons in the US too)- it's a steak place.  They actually do a really decent steak and I enjoy going there 1-2 times a year.  But here's the thing I live in one of the coolest cities in the world with hundreds of cool places to go eat!  Why on earth would The Keg be a top choice?


2. Earl's - I've never been.  However, it is on Thursday nights (this date was Tuesday night so not really the issue) THE meat market/pick up place of Bay Streeters (Toronto's version of Wall Streeters).  If you drive by (which I've done) on a Thursday you will see a ton of sexy suits and women in their tightest tiniest dresses, sky high Louboutons and clutching whatever newest hand bag is in style.  (Clearly this is not my type of place...I would feel so self-conscious around these women!)


3. Jack Astor's- again I actually really like Jack Astor's and it is a go to staple.  In fact Taylor and I went there on her last trip here.  My parents like it and I even went on a date with MrKent to one.  


I'm just a SUPER snob and wonder out of all the restaurants in the city these are your top three?!?!?!
So of course I replied with something nice like, 
"I'm good with all three.  So whatever you think is great :)"
Because I'm a people pleaser like that.


So I meet him at The Keg on York.
Choosing a spot on the patio we finally have great warm weather here.
He was sweet asking if I was too hot we could move inside.
I obviously was like heck no!  I love the heat!

Pic from here

The place was fun.
I had a great glass of wine and we both ordered steak.
And he was cute.
There was definitely a lot of awkward first date timing/conversation things going on.
It's hard because obviously I'm going to compare it to what I experienced previously.


His style is different (think more European) versus New England prep (the style that makes me weak in the knees).
He also wore running shoes with jeans which kind of bothers me...now y'all are probably thinking I'm a HUGE snobby b*tch.


He was really nice.
He told me I looked like Jessica Alba (which always has me grinning ear to ear).
He also walked me to my car.


And we had another awkward exchange where he suggested we go out again immediately followed up by if I didn't want to that was cool.
So I did the only thing I thought of to break the awkward shuffling and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
Which surprised him (and myslef).


I had a fun time.
I probably would go out with him again and see if it was just nervous energy that made things awkward...
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd hope that he doesn't take me to another chain restaurant.
(Finishing off with a super snobby b*tchy comment...wow).

Last Weekend

Last week and weekend I worked hard at being busy so as not to think about MrKent.
It sort of worked.
So let me summarize.

Wednesday I had a sorority meeting at the house.
So that was great.
I'm currently VP of the Alum organization AND
just found out I'm being groomed to be Pres for 2013-2014.
Which has me excited yet super duper nervous.

Thursday I was supposed to grab drinks with Laurel but we decided to change the night.
Friday I headed to the SC (StoneyCreek) to visit Quinn.
Val ended up coming there too.

We had a fabulous dinner and drank some wine.
And cheered as Nik Wallenda walked across Niagara Falls!
Amazing and totally inspiring!
(Yes I'm a total cheeseball that loves to watch people succeed).

Pic from here

Saturday I woke up and Quinn, her husband and her baby went out for breakfast.
Then we came home to feed the baby.
Seriously how cute is she?!?!?!

Then I headed to my hometown.
When I got to my parents place it was a little too noticeable that Arlie was gone.
Then my parents made plans to go out for dinner at one of their friend's places.

So I called up Shelby (who lives in my hometown).
And invited her over for dinner.
She suggested we go out for drinks at a pub.

So I forced myself out.
It really wasn't that fun at all.
Reminding me that the icky hometown feeling may never pass.
But at least I forced myself out.

Sunday was a lazy Father's Day spent BBQing and hanging out.
And going to get my mum a new iPod and showing her how to use it.
(And yes we got my mum an iPod on Father's Day which is kind of funny in a way).
My little brother is in the Bahamas so he wasn't around.

And as I packed up my car (with a bunch of work done on it again).
I found myself returning to the TDot with entirely way too many things.
Does this happen to you to when you head home?
Or am I just totally spoiled???

Here is the loot in my front hall.
And the breakdown of the food!

Tons of stuff at my front hall!

My parent crack me up because they now remember to get me my healthy things I like (veggies and fruit)...I think it's a secret ploy to get me to try and take home the entire tray of rolls stuffed with chorizo (it worked!)

Close up of the totally unhealthy white buns stuffed with sliced up Chorizo bits (a Portuguese sausage).

Home made prefrozen(just have to be fried) Samosas.  Yum!

Individual portion sized chicken curry (we are Portuguese but my parents had some Indian friends when they first moved to Canada so I grew up eating this yummy stuff!)

Individually portioned ribs and Boerewors (a South African sausage that I love...both my parents families grew up in Rhodesia and Zimbabwe).

Another South African fav (that is stored in a paper sac and I've been snacking on all week...Biltong which is essentially beef jerky...my parents South African butcher makes it for our family!)

So yes it was a good weekend.
That had me unwinding but still thinking about things way too much.
But I came back to the TDot refueled for another week.

Coming up (sorry for the delay in posts)...
A first date post.
My crazy weekend coming up post.

An invitation...

I owe y'all a quick weekend update post which I will get to tomorrow.
BUT I wanted to share with you some super exciting news.
Well at least super exciting for me!


So Laurel asked me to be one of her bridesmaids!!!
I'm so completely honoured and flattered.
I am just so so sooooooo excited.


I know what y'all are thinking...really not such a big deal ...OH but it is!
I've only ever been a bridesmaid once and that was for my cousins wedding in 2006.
I've never been asked to be in any of the Waterloo girl's weddings.


So for this invitation to come I was stunned.
It nearly brought tears to my eyes.
She actually wants ME to stand with her on her wedding day!


I feel really just so honored that she asked me.
And I can't wait for the getting ready and girly fun!
So so so happy!


Also because I think this can officially mean I'm making new girl friends in the city.
And that is one of the biggest most exciting things ever!
Yay!  
Here's wishing I look this good! 

Pic from here

Pondering

Just a little bit of thinking inside my head here going on.
I wonder if MrKent feels relieved after having the talk.
Like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.


Like how I felt after calling things to an end with MrRussian.
Or when I stopped dating MrFinance.
I know it really does NOT matter.


For all I know the person before me that broke his heart.
Totally came back into the picture.
I should probably stop picturing her as some model tall thin blond woman too.
Again because it does NOT matter.


Isn't it kind of funny how it is a TON easier being the dumpER versus the dumpEE.
I mean it isn't fun breaking up with someone.
When I've been in that position I feel totally anxious and I feel guilty.
But then it's super easy to move on.


I really very quickly don't notice missing text messages.
(Gosh darn WHY did MrKent if he wasn't interested message me every single freaking morning with variations of "good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?")?!?!?! Annoyed.
Whereas now (being the dumpEE in this situation) every beep or vibrate of my phone makes me jump a little and secretly hold my breath with only the teeniest hope that it may be MrKent.
It won't be.
I know this.
And it's totally embarrassing to admit that is what I do.


But I don't want y'all thinking I'm spiraling down.
I'm totally jumping back on the horse if you will.
I have a date lined up for Tuesday.


I also am keeping and will be keeping myself super busy!
I had a sorority meeting last night.
Plans for drinks tonight with Laurel.
Sleepover with Quinn Friday.
Saturday and Sunday I'm headed to my hometown for Father's Day.
And plans for the next two weekends as well.


So I think I'm doing rather well.
The super AMAZING comments from you readers totally helps so so SO much!
I can't even begin to wrap my head around the amazing support and kind words.
Luv y'all!


And with that ...yippe ki yay M*therF'er.
Sometimes I'm sort of random.
Really not sure where THAT just came from. haha.

Pic from here

It's not me it's you

These last 48 hours have particularly dragged.
BUT I'm trying to put a positive spin on things.
While secretly hoping thinking MrKent will regret his decision.


After all I made him hot toddy's this past Saturday when he was sick.
I am sweet.
I am nice.
I laughed hard at all his silly jokes.
I found his messy bachelor pad endearing not annoying.
I was gracious even with the "it's not you it's me speech" I sat through basically just listening to what he had to say...
and I didn't even cry once (in front of him).


I am just dusting myself off and trying to round up a few dates.
I think there are two things that have resonated greatly with me in these last 48 hours.


One is something I've been trying to live by...

I also need to be more proud of myself/confidant.
Funny enough it was something MrKent mentioned as he gave me "the talk".
He said, "you don't give yourself enough credit".
And when I looked at him puzzled, he mentioned three specific comments that I didn't even realize I said outloud.
One of thes was "I know I'm not everyone's "type""...I know I'm not I'm curvy...I'm not skinny tall model like.
It's like some people (like me) find Kim Kardashian GORGEOUS...and others just don't see it....it made me realize I'm pretty critical of myself (specifically my body).


So maybe I should at least believe in myself as much as a boy who just dumped me does.
After all the issue was his issue.
And for once I really believe it wasn't me that was the problem.
And that is a pretty huge revelation.

Awake

Pic from here.

At 3:23am.
I woke up.
All sweaty and stressed and anxiety ridden.
Ughh I hate nights like this.
My first thought.
MrKent.
The memories come flooding back of mere hours before.
"....I'm not being fair to you" he started with.
And that heavy knot returns to my stomach.
Then I think of Arlie who I usually turn to in heartbreak.
Right he is gone too.
Then I glance at my phone.
A message from Jacob "I miss you".
And I panic.
I try to force myself to sleep.
Knowing the exhaustion I will feel in a few hours.
Dreading the questions from my work colleagues 
who I had bragged about my weekend in wine country with MrKent.
And I'm not sure if I will actually get back to sleep.

Seventeen and Eighteen

Some parts of this post will be rather brief.
As I'm trying to get to the "good" stuff.
So here we go...


Seventeen (I alluded to it here in my grumpiness).
MrKent came up here and we decided on a later movie time so we could grab dinner.
We had dinner at Milestones.


Then we headed to see Snow White and the Huntsman.
Overall I really enjoyed it.
Even though I was cranky that he seemed turned away the whole time.
Granted he was coughing and sneezing a ton.
This was one sick boy.


Eighteen was planned to be in wine country.
Our first out of town date.
A big deal as is mentioned in Bridget Jones' Diary.


It fell through.
We couldn't get a place to stay over night.
MrKent was still quite ill.
Therefore standing outside in the heat food and wine pairing to loud music wasn't the best.
And then it called for thunderstorms all day Saturday.
So instead of pouting I put my best no complaint here smile on and said we'll just catch the next event next month there.


Instead we went for dinner at Asia Legend (like on date nine).
Had a great dinner.
Then we headed to the grocery store to pick up popcorn and the ingredients to make Hot Toddy's (as he was still not 100%).
We watched Chronicle and Taken before heading to bed.


This morning we woke up leisurely.
Then headed to breakfast at O&B Cafe Grill (just like on date fifteen but the one in the North end of the city close to my place).
Afterwards we headed around the mall strolling blissfully through Restoration Hardware and Chapters.


We took a drive around before deciding to stop at the shops at Don Mills (an outdoor shopping centre).
Which was the perfect place to get ice cream.
Then we strolled around hand in hand the rest of the afternoon.


As he drove me back to my place he said I'll come up for a bit.
Which had me grinning from ear to ear (I really enjoy spending time with this man).
Then we watched X-Men First Class and looked through travel magazines together chatting and joking around.


Then he got this really serious face on.
And he said "ummm Teagan I think to be fair to you we need to have a conversation".
And my heart started pounding.
This could not be good.


And he let me know he isn't ready for a relationship.
He said he still has a lot of emotional wounds from his last relationship (that ended shortly before we began hanging out- something that I did NOT know about because initially we had conversations of how he WAS ready for a relationship).
He basically said you're wonderful and it isn't you at all!
Ummm thanks.


He said that this is the point where he should be officially talking about boyfriend/girlfriend titles.
But he just couldn't.
He was still heartbroken over his last relationship and he just wasn't ready.
And he thought he would be.
He said he thought the doubts would go away because he really did like me.  
But if we hung out for another month he felt like we would be having this conversation and it would be even jerkier.
And he was starting to stress out about it.


I sat there STUNNED.
I mean I guess I had an inkling (hence my freak out here).
But still it seemed to come from left field.
Especially given the last 24 hours.

In fact he said, "this is totally coming out of left field for you isn't it?"
I just nodded dumbfounded.
And I tried to be gracious and thought to myself...wow what a crap week.


Then as he got up to leave.
It was so awkward and I stood far from him.
As he put on his shoes and said, "and now I'm probably making another huge mistake".
I just whispered "don't".


And with that he walked out the door.
Not a goodbye was uttered by either of us.
And I shut the door.
And just slid down the door and sat down on the floor for a minute.
Just reminding myself.
To breathe.

The Sads

I'm sitting here on this lovely Saturday afternoon with the sads.
I'm bummed.
With a bajillion random ramblings in my head.


I just watched Being Elmo ...a happy documentary about the guy that is Elmo.
Well the guy that is the puppeteer of Elmo.
I figured I needed a little happy.

That didn't exactly work.
Don't get me wrong it is inspiring and joyous but I'm in a funk.
Ughh.


Yesterday I cried twice at work.
Don't worry in the privacy of my own office.
Because I kept panicking that I made too hasty of a decision giving my parents the okay to put Arlie down.
That is the first time I have ever used a real name in this blog.
He deserves to have his name for real remembered.


Oh my heart hurts.
And I was so looking forward to a weekend in wine country forgetting this past week.
But it didn't happen.


I left it up to MrKent to organize.
He couldn't get us a B&B in the area 
(granted this particular part of wine country is tiny doesn't have a ton of options).
Then we were just going to go for the day.
But it called for thunderstorms today.
And I was really getting irritated because we couldn't nail down concrete plans.


Last evening we finally decided to touch base in the morning.
He touched base at like 10:30.
And I was already cranky.
And finally after a lot of passiveness I just called him to be like ...
"ummm what are the plans".


I know I was snippy.
Finally I suggested if he wanted to go to this event we go tomorrow.
And then I mumbled something about "so I don't know what the rest of your weekend looks like or if you have things to do or what should be the alternative plan".


So he thought about it (ie. a lot of awkward silence on the phone).
Then I (in my full insecurity irritableness) said 
"ummm I feel like I'm putting you on the spot and it's making me feel bad".
He suggested he get some things done for work etc this afternoon and he would think about evening plans.
I just said "sure sound good talk to you later".
Even though I'm so thoroughly cranky and irritated.
And still kind of think maybe I'm sabotaging us.
If there is an us.


And now I'm proceeding to huff and pout in my current couch position.
Still in a robe but with my hair styled and dried.
Still without makeup or an outfit laid out 
(because I don't know what or if we are doing something tonight).
And I realize I'm just in a crazy funk.
This week has put me into a tailspin.


And then I sit here and my heart just aches for Arlie.
I don't know if someone held him during his last breathe.
Or if they handed him over to a vet tech.
And this fills me with grief.
I didn't want him to suffer but I just worry I made too hasty a decision.


I just miss him so much.
I miss him beside me.
And as the tears (currently) roll down my face.
I remember his too short life with me...

I remember driving two and a half hours to Brownsville Texas.
To a kill shelter.
And seeing his tiny face behind a chainlink fence.
His name there was Walter and that seemed like such an old man name for such a sweet little dog.


Learning about him and the sad news of his past.
He was abused and still had broken ribs when I got him.
Barely 5 pounds and fully grown he was 2 years old when I got him.
I remember going through his treatment of heartworm and how tough and long that seemed.


The first reason I got him was because I was lonely in Dallas.
I had only been living in Dallas for two and a half weeks when I brought Arlie home.
He made my one bedroom apartment feel much less lonely.
When I moved to Dallas I had always either lived with my family or the Waterloo Girls.
It was much too quiet there (much like it is today).
We learned to trust each other.
He learned not to take a single piece of kibble from the bowl and hide with it to eat it before retrieving another piece.
He also learned to play fetch.
It only took him about 6 months not to run and hide in the opposite direction of the stuffed toy I threw.


My parents who thought it was such a bad idea to get a dog.
Feel in love with him too.
No one could meet Arlie and not love him.
SO many people would tell me "usually I don't like little dogs but he's different".  
And they were right ...he was.

I remember for every single test him studying with me.
He insisting on curling up on my lap each time.
He was just the best dog ever.


He flew with me to Dallas, to Florida, to Canada and a few other places.
He was with me each time I found out I passed an exam.
We moved to Philadelphia to be with Jacob together.


He used to love Rittenhouse Square park and would strut like he owned it.
Arlie (not Jacob).
He loved going to the beach just not the water.
He hated swimming and tried to escape each time.
He knew how to pray...(I wish I had a pic to show you).


He would curl up in a little tiny ball.
It earned him the nickname Coyote.
Though I have no idea if Coyote's actually curl up in a ball.

He sat with me as I bawled my eyes out the day Jacob left me in Philadelphia.
He was as angry as I was when we briefly moved back to Canada.
We both hated the cold.
When I moved to Singapore I cried my eyes out leaving him...
he was the only thing that made me cry when I left Canada (sad but true).
He let me have it when I moved back to Canada 
(almost biting my hand off when I first came back with Spencer).


For some reason he seemed to love Spencer.
Weird because he never liked any male at first.
He was with me when I would just lie on the couch in the fall of 2010 when Spencer left me.

I was in a completely depressed state.
I would literally lie on the couch for 10 hours.
He wouldn't move either.


When I moved to Toronto he came with me.
But when he got sick I made the decision here to have him move back to my hometown 
because my parents don't leave the house for 10 hours a day.
That was one of the most difficult decisions I had to make up until this last one.


I loved Arlie so much.
And I miss him so much.
And he has been through so much with me.
He has been a constant.
And now he's gone.
I'm sorry for such a crappy bummy post but boy do I ever feel crappy and bummy.

Rest in Peace.

Arlie Walter.

February 1, 2002-June 7, 2012.