Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Seventeen and Eighteen

Some parts of this post will be rather brief.
As I'm trying to get to the "good" stuff.
So here we go...

Seventeen (I alluded to it here in my grumpiness).
MrKent came up here and we decided on a later movie time so we could grab dinner.
We had dinner at Milestones.

Then we headed to see Snow White and the Huntsman.
Overall I really enjoyed it.
Even though I was cranky that he seemed turned away the whole time.
Granted he was coughing and sneezing a ton.
This was one sick boy.

Eighteen was planned to be in wine country.
Our first out of town date.
A big deal as is mentioned in Bridget Jones' Diary.

It fell through.
We couldn't get a place to stay over night.
MrKent was still quite ill.
Therefore standing outside in the heat food and wine pairing to loud music wasn't the best.
And then it called for thunderstorms all day Saturday.
So instead of pouting I put my best no complaint here smile on and said we'll just catch the next event next month there.

Instead we went for dinner at Asia Legend (like on date nine).
Had a great dinner.
Then we headed to the grocery store to pick up popcorn and the ingredients to make Hot Toddy's (as he was still not 100%).
We watched Chronicle and Taken before heading to bed.

This morning we woke up leisurely.
Then headed to breakfast at O&B Cafe Grill (just like on date fifteen but the one in the North end of the city close to my place).
Afterwards we headed around the mall strolling blissfully through Restoration Hardware and Chapters.

We took a drive around before deciding to stop at the shops at Don Mills (an outdoor shopping centre).
Which was the perfect place to get ice cream.
Then we strolled around hand in hand the rest of the afternoon.

As he drove me back to my place he said I'll come up for a bit.
Which had me grinning from ear to ear (I really enjoy spending time with this man).
Then we watched X-Men First Class and looked through travel magazines together chatting and joking around.

Then he got this really serious face on.
And he said "ummm Teagan I think to be fair to you we need to have a conversation".
And my heart started pounding.
This could not be good.

And he let me know he isn't ready for a relationship.
He said he still has a lot of emotional wounds from his last relationship (that ended shortly before we began hanging out- something that I did NOT know about because initially we had conversations of how he WAS ready for a relationship).
He basically said you're wonderful and it isn't you at all!
Ummm thanks.

He said that this is the point where he should be officially talking about boyfriend/girlfriend titles.
But he just couldn't.
He was still heartbroken over his last relationship and he just wasn't ready.
And he thought he would be.
He said he thought the doubts would go away because he really did like me.  
But if we hung out for another month he felt like we would be having this conversation and it would be even jerkier.
And he was starting to stress out about it.

I sat there STUNNED.
I mean I guess I had an inkling (hence my freak out here).
But still it seemed to come from left field.
Especially given the last 24 hours.

In fact he said, "this is totally coming out of left field for you isn't it?"

I just nodded dumbfounded.
And I tried to be gracious and thought to what a crap week.

Then as he got up to leave.
It was so awkward and I stood far from him.
As he put on his shoes and said, "and now I'm probably making another huge mistake".
I just whispered "don't".

And with that he walked out the door.
Not a goodbye was uttered by either of us.
And I shut the door.
And just slid down the door and sat down on the floor for a minute.
Just reminding myself.
To breathe.

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