Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Tossing and Turning

I'm tossing and turning because I'm really bothered by the whole MM thing.
I was trying to fall asleep but really just trying to figure out what was it that changed.
It just was so weird.
Talking to him all last week and having him say things like...I hope you are the first person I see when I get back to Toronto and I miss you etc.

And I think I figured it out.
He played tennis on Sunday with Eva's husband's brother.
And maybe he told him about Spencer.
To be fair I don't even know if Eva's husband's brother knows.
I know the Waterloo girls know (and so maybe I should assume their husbands know then).
And maybe it is too much for him.
Considering dating someone like me...a previously pseudomarried almost divorcee with a messy past.

After all how do I expect someone to be okay with it.
When I'm not even okay with it.

Pic from here


  1. Did you all ever talk about your pasts at all? I don't think that is it and if it is, then he doesn't deserve you. The situation you were in with Spencer is unfortunately not all that abnormal these days, and if he would get all weird with you from talking to someone else about it and not even have the courage to discuss it with you, well then that's not very much of a manly or genuine thing to do!!!! Don't lose sleep over it - I know it's hard, but it's truly his loss and I hope you find the RIGHT guy soon!

  2. @AnEarly30- We talked about our pasts to a certain extent. I told him the full Jacob story. Then I eluded to the fact that there was something else but I wasn't ready to talk about it. We had conversations of one of his friends who was divorced and his commenting about it made me feel better. I would say things like "I'm worried something I may tell you may be a dealbreaker and his response last week was "once I got to know you all the dealbreakers didn't matter" ummm yea I'm totally confused. And you're right for someone to not even want to discuss it...sucky. For someone to get a story from hearing it THIRD hand who likely has NO idea of what happened and not coming directly to ask...way more sucky. Thank you so much and you are right. If he isn't the right person for me better to know now so I can move on and find that right person. It just sucks that the FIRST person I talk to may just show what one of my greatest fears of the consequences of my actions will be (feels very much like I'm damaged) made true. Thank you for your encouragement it helps immensely. xo

  3. Ugh. I'm sorry that you're having to worry so much about this. I hate that you have to guess about what may have gone wrong - if anything has even gone wrong. It's so hard to tell. It could be nothing. Hoping that's the case. XO

  4. So behind on responding...oopsie...guess it was somthing...sigh.