Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Rollercoaster Teagan

Pic from here

Wow so many ups and downs it's like a rollercoaster up in here.
More good than bad (happy to report).
And I know this is going to seem really rather disjointed as I haven't updated for the week.
And boy a lot can happen in a week.
I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can let it go and have a good sleep tonight.
So here we go....

Had the BEST past 24 hours with MrDentist.
He is incredible.
He's smart, funny, sexy and makes me feel amazing.
And not just because he happens to be a very VERY good kisser.

I was supposed to have my first sorority even today.
Except every single person bailed.
Therefore my first event=failure.

But this enabled me to spend an afternoon looking at downtown condos with MrDentist.
Us strolling through the Yorkville area.
Grabbing an espresso and stopping into some shops.
And stopping into a PERFECT amazing restaurant called One.

On the way out the restaurant running into my work colleague
(yes the one with the mistress from last weeks shenanigans!)
Made some cordial small talk.
We had discussed a little bit of business before (read this post if you missed it).
So this was sort of looping back to that meeting before and business opportunities.
MrDentist also paid me a very nice compliment in front of my work colleague (amazing).
Then the colleague texting MrDentist after seeing us that said...
"stick with that girl I think I can make her richer than she already is" 
Seriously this dude doesn't even know me.
So much so that he has NO freaking clue my financial situation.
AND !!!! Earlier this week he suggested MrDentist hook up with one of the mistresses friends because she was ummm how do I put this ...
good to go?!

MrDentist inviting me to the Thompson tonight to spend the night.
It is technically a boys night.
So I declined instead and he drove me home. 
And he kissed me goodbye and today was filled with little kisses and big kisses and touches and wow am I ever falling hard for this guy.

So in trying to be cool...heck it is a Saturday night in Toronto surely a cool girl like myself could scrounge up some plans.
Quick  side rant...
how the F*ck am I sitting
alone in my condo right now
on a perfectly good
Saturday night seriously?!?!?!?!
So I message Val.
Who let me know that she had plans with Eva and Eva's husband tonight...
And I was like "okay cool" but what I really was thinking...ummm how come I didn't get the invite to join them?  Seriously is it that hard?!
Truth is it's because they obviously don't want me there.
And then I start to put things together.
Eva lives 15 minutes from me.
The closest of all the girls.
The last time we did something one on birthday (here).
And it's not from my lack of inviting her either.
And it all came flooding to me.
I still am searching for a key group of friends.
And I reached this sudden realization.
Perhaps I am slightly growing apart from the Waterloo girls.
I'm not in the same stage of life as they are.
I've spent so many years away from them that maybe the once a year visit is what I was meant for with them.
Do I sort of resign to this fact.
Do I gracefully sort of bow out of their friendships?
And this realization made me so super duper cranky.
The fact that they didn't feel that they could extend an invitation for me to join them tonight actually made me feel angry to be honest.

I miss my bestie Taylor (which is actually kind of a DOWN but...)
Her sparkly personality is infectious.
I have the BEST times with her.
And boy do I miss that.
And boy do I want to recreate that.
She is the one person who can make me feel great about myself.
She is the first person I want to talk to with any kind of news.
Also someone I can message about something and she responds with the PERFECT response.
Case and point.  I said something DUMB at lunch today that reminded me of our Vegas trip.
So I messaged Tay and started to tell MrDentist the story.
AS I'm telling the story Tay replies..."That is SO an in-and-out comment!" 
She totally gets me!

I'm a rollercoaster today.


  1. Aww, I hope and pray I do that for you, because that would be nothing more than returning the wonderful favor that you do for ME!

    I'm in the same boat with you on friends. I'm trying to put myself out there and get that going again. It's a LONG process and its hard.

    We need to face time about the Waterloo girls. I have several thoughts on this to make you feel better about the situation. I think I can relate and have some different ways to see it other than all-or-nothing, or just all bad.

    Miss you!!!! Kisses to you and send a hug to MrDentist! Love him bc he makes you feel so happy. You deserve every second of that!

  2. LOVE the style of this post. Life is SO full of ups and downs sometimes. I definitely understand growing out of friendships from being in different stages, too. I usually try to hang onto them if I can, without pressure to hang out. Doesn't mean there isn't a sad, sometimes angry and bitter, grieving period that brings me to that. Fortunately, the ones that are my closest friends stick with me through all stages of their life and mine. Those are the ones I treasure close to my heart, the rest I am grateful for but thy don't have such a special spot in my heart. Crossing my fingers you find your group there soon.

    Also, LOVE what you said about Taylor's texts. So true - a bestie always has exactly the right words. It's like God had a (or another) sister, a family member, out there just for you.

  3. @Tay- Can't wait to do a facetime catch up about it all this week! And I think Saturday I was just super cranky and amped about it all. I've actually made some plans to go to Ottawa with some of the girls and I think that has calmed me down a smidge...thank goodness for blog-venting!

    @PSD- Yay thanks! Love your comments. I find your posts perfect and inspirational and I hope to one day be closer to your writing ability!