Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Tuesdate with MrRussian

So Tuesday right after work I had a date with MrRussian.
He complimented my shoes.
I guess that doesn't seem like a big deal.
But they are flat pointy toed greeny/yellow with sparkly details.
And he STILL complimented them.
I found that rather impressive.
They are more the type of shoes girls compliment rather than boys.
Anywho I'm too lazy to take a picture right now but maybe tonight I will update this post with a pic.

So he said he had made reservations.
I was excited.
So he took me to Chiado.

Thoughtful yes because my background is Portuguese.
I came to find out later (from one of my work colleagues that Chiado is the nicest (and most expensive) Portuguese restaurant in the city).
It was great and had a really REALLY old school European vibe.

Described on blogTO as Chiado is upscale Portuguese dining, with mains such as pan-seared filet of
grouper, grilled octopus with sweet pepper salsa, roasted Australian rack of lamb, and specialty dishes with fresh fish flown in from Portugal. Superior choice for seafood dining, though probably not the place to catch Brazil vs. Portugal

I wish I took pictures.
I need to figure out a way to take pictures without reveling I have a blog to dates.
Anyone have any suggestions?
I did manage to find some pictures on the internet though.
I think pictures always makes things better.

We started with a complimentary chef's appetizer of goat cheese with the plate having a swirl of honey and balsalmic...delishious with the fresh bread.
Then we shared an appetizer of grilled shrimp and quail resotto.

Both of us choose fish as our main course.

We also had some lovely red wine.

Then he dropped the bomb on me.
Starting off innocently enough...then he progressed to this.
He basically alluded to the fact that he thought I had been hurt badly in the past.
My gut reaction...I seem damaged.
Which I took a little bit as an insult and it made me sort of take a step back a little bit.

He asked me to elaborate about Spencer.
I went to open my mouth and nothing came out.
And I felt my heart start to go faster and thinking of what to say.
My biggest thought is I feel like if I talk about that whole debauchery of a relationship I'm going to burst into tears.
Especially as pictures raced through my head like this...unworn dress hanging in parents office still, thousands of dollars in deposits, fake ring, being abadoned this side of the border with not so much as a detailed phone call discussion about it, and I felt myself start to panic a little bit.

I pulled myself together and willed the tears away.
I let him know that the fact that I even told him about Spencer was a HUGE deal for me.
And frankly I'm not ready to go into details yet.

He let me know that he wanted to know what he was working with and how I'm viewing him
(because our pasts obviously influence that).
I let him know that I wasn't ready and I didn't want to feel pressured.
So the end of the dinner sort of had this awkwardness to it.
He apologized if I felt pressured.

Then we got up to go.
He helped me put on my coat as he always does (another + in my books).
We walked to the car holding hands.
He dropped me off and we shared a kiss.
But this has me uncertain again.
Part of me wondered if maybe I'm still not ready to date...through it has been a long time since Spencer (October 2010 really the last time I saw him).
Maybe its a sign I should finish writing his chapters.
I'm hesitant.

Pics from here here here

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I'm sorry that happened. You're not damaged. There is nothing wrong with you. Shitty things happened to you, but you are perfect and awesome and you can get past each and every part of your past.

    Have an amazing girls weekend. I wish I could be there!