My 2nd Annual Youtube Rewind

Last year I linked up the Youtube 2010 rewind.
So without further ado here is 2011 :)
A little less serious than the Zeitgeist one that I posted yesterday.
Enjoy!

My 2nd Annual Zeitgeist Review

I love reviewing things that have happened, like when I posted this last year.
Because they make you realize how much can happen in a year.
And just how trivial some of my "problems" are.

2011 you have been easier than 2010 but not without it's struggles.
2012 could you be what I've always hoped for and dreamed of?
Here's hoping.

Teagan and the Russian

Okay I know it may be confusing but I'm officially changing MrAccountant to MrRussian.
Okay so MrAccountant MrRussian. 
If you need the background I'm going to try and keep it short and simple but with lots of pictures to make you think I'm a good blogger haha.
If you forget our first date read here

Our second official date was not last Sunday but the Sunday before.
We had breakfast at Eggsetera downtown.
(Can't find one single pic on the internet!)

Followed by exploring St. Lawrence Market downtown.

Pics from here
Think part antique shopping/part actual marketplace.

Then we walked along until we found a small bookstore to explore.
I immediately fell in love with it and it reminded me of Meg Ryan's bookstore in You've Got Mail.  Even had perfect squeeky hardwood floors!

Seriously how perfect is this bookstore...it's my new favourite find in the city.
Pic from here and here.

Then we walked to the skating rink downtown to people watch.

Pic from here.

Then we checked out a small exhibit showcase going on.
It was titled Architeture Too Tall?  And had some interesting things on exhibit.
I have to admit part of the reason I was interested was so I could collect the pamphlet to give to Taylor to give to her husband in case he would be interested.  Haha I'm a total nerd.

Pic from here.

Then we grabbed a  coffee and chatted some more.

Pic from here.

Before checking out Chagall's exhibit at the Art Gallery of Ontario.  Which included works from Chagall and the Russian Avant-Garde: Masterpieces from the Collection of the Centre Pompidou-Paris. 

Pic from here and here.

Okay and now it's my turn to geek out here.
I totally was hoping to come across some strange exhibit like with a ladder of knives hahaha.
Seriously how much was this date was starting to mirror that episode of Sex and the City with my very own Russian.

Pics from here and here.

Did you miss it? here is them meeting... well as long as this video remains on youtube that is haha I love Sex and the City.

It was a perfectly nice Sunday.

We hung out again on Thursday evening a week ago.
A great dinner at Pizzeria Libretto.

Pics from here, here, here.
INCREDIBLE pizza and wine.

We had some great chats about many things.

And guess what?!?!?!?!

I told him about being pseudomarried before (but without getting into the details of Spencer).
In fact as my heart raced and I stared down at my hands nervously wringing each other.
I mumbled something about "yes I guess you can't really judge someones past...I've been married before.  Long story short we were together it was to assist us with paperwork/immigration and since we were engaged and essentially going to be married anyway it seemed like a good idea at the time.  Only he changed his mind and then what seemed like a good idea actuallly wasn't."
He understood and I think it made him feel better about his own situation.
He dropped me off then at the new bar for me to meet with some colleauges from work that I discussed in this post here.

Yesterday we went to the home opener of the Raptors game.

Pics from here.

It was the season home opener which was cool because they gave away some stuff like t-shirts/towels.  And the Bieb's was there (see here).
I also thought it was EXTREMELY cool that the captain of the team came out and thanked the fans and essentially apologized for the lockout prior to the game beginning.
And yup the intro song is from Drake (LOVE)...

Can I also geek out and say that I LOVE announcing of starting lineups.
I know I know I'm SUCH a cheerleader...but it gives me goosebumps EVERY time.
At half time Kardinal Official performed.

Don't know who he is?
You must NOT be Canadian then.
Do you remember my post here???  He is the artist that sang that song...

Anywho I did kind of feel bad for him.
Here he was performing and midway in the third quarter of the game they present Justin Bieber with his very own jersey....and NADA NOTHING for Kardinal Official!

After the game we went to Joe Mama's where we listened to live jazz and drank wine and ate appetizers.

Pic from here  Doesn't this look EXACTLY how you think a jazz bar would look?
And we talked and talked.

I felt myself really opening up to him.
It is sort of this weird flux where sometimes I am totally comfortable and sometimes there is that awkwardness there.
Sometimes I look at him and think he is quite handsome and I feel quite happy.
Other times I find myself wondering if I could see myself with him and I feel quite unsure.
Sort of a mixture of feelings all at once.

When he dropped me off at home, he asked if he could kiss me and he did.
And it was sweet and nice.
I'm just not sure 100% how I feel about it all.
He is really nice and is treating me really well.
And that may be all I need.

Sometimes I do find it difficult with his stutter/stammer...part of me wonders if it is a translation thing as well (his first language being Russian).  It makes me want to throw in Season 6 of Sex in the City to watch Aleksandr Petrovsky to see if this occured at all.  His accent does totally remind me of Aleksandr. 

I am also purposely trying NOT to rush into anything.
But I'm wondering if some of the passion isn't there...and how important is that anyway?
Is it something that can develop?

I do have to say right now I'm at least interested in spending some more time together.
But I don't want to feel pressured to rush into anything (he knows this).
I admit I've also been slacking with the eharmony dating website.
I think I may need to force myself to keep it up a little longer...go on a few more first dates...and see what is out there...besides what's the rush?
So that is the update with MrAccountant MrRussian.

I'm feeling very... pensive...and very excited to see the girls this weekend for our New Year's Eve Celebrations at Eva's house.
Just what I need.

BBalling

Guess who else was also at the Raptors home opening game last night beside moi?

This guy.

Yup Justin Bieber.
Is it bad to say that I totally picked him out before they even showed him on the big screen?
I was scanning the courtside seats hoping for a cool local celebrity sighting.
Come on Ryan Reynolds or Ryan Gosling or Drake.
It was still pretty cool to see Justin Bieber there and the response of all the young girls.
Will update later on this whole rest of the night.


Pics from here

Breathe

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable" (The Wizard of Oz).

I feel behind.
Like I need to somehow catch up to everything even though I did post less than a week ago.
Maybe I'm just being overdramatic (sort of my style right?!)

I want to write about (but will instead bullet point it and give myself only the option to expand if I feel like it):

• my Sunday day date with MrAccountant
• my Thursday night date with MrAccountant
• how I then left the date for another "business" evening aka club opening with bottle service with the boys at the new hottest club downtown (that I dodged advances and watched inappropriate things go down)
• how I came home to see my wedding dress hanging in my parent's office...just when I was able to forget it was hanging there
• my intent to document our family traditional Christmas to try and appreciate it more (I'll save you the guess I didn't because...)
• The Christmas Eve dinner turned into an ever escalating argument.
• The Christmas Eve tradition of opening all our presents at midnight turning into a huge family blow out where words like this were tossed out...that I can't even bring myself to write down...that I'm struggling with that ..it took the breath and words from me...that all I could do was blink and stare...that led to even my brother calling a cab and leaving...and the heartbreaking awkwardness that followed.
• The uncertainty I have felt in my heart about the future of my family that brings back a scary heavy  dull ache that I haven't felt in a year creeping back in.
• the need to write it down because it is the first sign of a crack...one that might turn into a life changing crack...the feeling of something maybe happening and having no ability to change it...it's not mine to change.
• mistakenly coming across pictures of the last weekend with Spencer...and it's not that I miss him...I don't at all...but why do I just see pure joy and happiness on my face and in my eyes that is mysteriously absent in all pictures since.
• having a discussion yesterday with my mum about Spencer...and the pure foolishness of all my decisions...and the feeling of regret and wistfully wishing I could change the past...that I could somehow unravel this mistake...
• the uncertainty about my career that just keeps popping up in my head like an unrelenting song and I quickly trying to submerse these feelings...of wanting something different of pursuing something entirely different.
• pangs of wanting love ...real love...but also the kind you see on CW drama shows..and the hope that it does exist and it is out there for me.
• I was supposed to drive back to the TDot tonight...instead I stayed at my parents place (they've left for Florida) so I can get an early start tomorrow instead of driving in the dark tonight.
• because of this the quiet stillness of a big house...a house that feels like home that may or may not be around for all that much longer...
• selfish because I still have dreams of bridal showers, and getting ready photos in THIS house and it being so not likely as in not likely to happen at all and if it does then it being so far away that it is completely laughable so why am I thinking about it???
• hate to be cliche but is this what everyone talks about when they say the holiday season is the worst for suicides???  Maybe because it is such a reflective time of the year...like how sometimes things change but stay the exact same.
• this may officially be the most random post of all time...but strangely enough I think I feel better than last year...I think...
• sometimes I have to just remind myself to breathe...

  

Business or Pleasure?

So I know I di not mention in detail about being confused about work.
Being confused in the sense that at my work Christmas party (read here) 
I was given some "advice".
Of who to be in the "know" with or at least who I should try and spend time with to advance my career.  One thing to mention my work is a total old school boys club.

So a few days prior I get this text message from a colleauge something along the lines of...
'a bunch of the boys are going out Tuesday night if you are interested'
So I suck it up and say "great I'm in".

Tuesday arrived and in the morning my colleague messaged me saying that a couple of the guys were sick and cancelled but we could still grab dinner and discuss business.
I hesitated for a second because in my gut I was worried.
So he made reservations for us at Harbour60, an incredible steakhouse in Toronto.
It was gorgeous and in an incredible heritage building right downtown.
He is definitely someone who is "connected" as was evident that whole night.

The food was wonderful.
Here is a sample of the steak...perfectly done.

From there we went to the Thompson Hotel.

We grabbed a drink in the super trendy lobby bar and then waited for others to get there to get into the upstairs bar.

You need a special card to gain access.
Seriously.
It is a gorgeous super duper trendy hotel.
And this bar reminded me of Ghost Bar in Dallas.
Actually the hotel seems very similar to the W in Dallas.
Hotel with residences also.
If you're a resident, hotel guest or a "lounge member" you get access.
Super trendy, incredible view of the city and people who are very very well connected.

We even saw a Canadian celebrity there.
No not Justin Bieber but Kevin O'Leary from Dragon's Den...if you live in the US you may know the show as Shark Tank.

Of course I was way too nervous to actually try and introduce myself to him and say I'm a fan.
So I just geeked out and was very giddy.
And y'all here's a confession.
I LOVE places like this.
I love the exclusivity, the excitement, the entertainment of it all!
Maybe when it actually comes down to it I'm a snob.
I like that everyone is dressed up and it seems like a scene right off of GossipGirl.
The dresses and shoes and purses alone at the bar are a fashion show in itself!
And I love it.
A lot of people may think it is pretentious...but you guys it is so SO fun.
Partly because it seriously took me back to some SERIOUSLY amazing memories with Taylor at GhostBar dancing to DJ AM shouting lyrics while dancing our butts off on the dance floor.
Taylor in her bright pink dress me in one of blue.
I'm getting sidetracked reminiscing ...anywho....

Now I'm sort of just tap dancing around what I want to say.
There are some people that run in crowds.
They seem connected to all the cool places and have a lot of money to burn.
And I'm baffled why, on a Tuesday they want to be out until 2am with vapid shallow women instead of at home with their wife and children.
And that's all I'm going to say because it isn't my story to tell.
I did actually have a great time.
I loved experiencing that area of Toronto.
And nothing inappropriate was ever directed at me whatsoever but there were underlying things going on between others that put a little knot in my stomach.
I'm way over thinking it I know.
But that is how I ended up getting home at 2:30am on Wednesday and have been burnt out the entire rest of this week.




Pics from here here here here here

Unexpected.

Y'all I know I'm so super behind in MyExBoyfriend Project
and I haven't even gotten to Jim's chapters yet.
I think I may cover those over the Christmas holidays as a bonus treat for my readers.
His story is a doozy.

Well what makes him come up.
THIS popping up in my email.

What's crazy...his story involves Napa Valley, 3am calls to the Police, a mandatory stay with Taylor, leather pants, my parents having to fly to Texas, and other nutso stuff.

Which is enough to blow my mind why on earth he would request this.
I obviously did not "friend" him.
Excuse me while I shiver with creepedoutness.

Saturday Night Second Date Fail

Okay so Saturday night was my 2nd date with MrEngineer.
You can read about our first date here if you missed it.
We had been playing a little phone tag (ie. I was debating on whether to actually go on a second date with him or not).

He suggested a place called the Queen Mother Cafe in a cool part of town.
This sounded so completely perfectly British and cool how could I not go.
Plus he said they made awesome Sangria (ummm hello super sold!)

So I threw on a cute outfit and headed downtown via bus than subway.
This was interesting to say to least. 
I took a picture as evidence of my journey.

This perspective is from the bustop and you can see my condo in the background.
Not to far of a walk but darn it sure was cold.
And here is the following picture of why I avoid taking buses.
Because people ruin it.
Seriously so super duper disgusting.

Yes that is EXACTLY what you think it is.  So now I will stand outside the shelter because I'm gagging now just looking at this photo.

So I made it to the place.
He was dressed cute (button up and jeans).
And let's confirm...yup definitely taller than him in flats.
The place seemed so cool and trendy.
It was bustling with couples and groups of friends.

So from the name of the place you would expect British fare...nope.  The menu was full of Thai/Laos/Asian/Italian Food.  Unexpected and delish!

They had tons of mixed seating which I found eclectic and cute.  I loved the dark shiny tuffted benches.

This area seemed prime location for people watching in the busy street.

I loved the intimacy and coziness of this super high single person benches.

We sat in this area which was fun because it acutally gave us a view of...

This huge window!  We even watched a Santa pub crawl make it's way by the window.

We order a litre of sangria and some of the most delish food I've had to date.
I had there Ping Gai which was incredible.
 Don't know what it is...Ping Gai. Tender boneless chicken marinated with garlic, coriander and black peppercorns, grilled crispy and served with a spicy lime and coriander dipping sauce, salad and steamed rice.
See below.  I haven't eaten something like this since Singapore.
I was in heaven!

The conversation was flowing and I found myself enjoying his company.
We even had a few semi serious conversations about (his) past relationships.
He also discussed about how he would like to take me to a few places but didn't know if I would be overwhelmed with fancier places (ummmm no way).
He is also headed to Napa over the holidays so we had a ton to discuss as it is one of my (and one of my besties favourite places).

Then the bill came.
And he looked at it and then looked at me.
So I said, "ummm do you want me to pay for this?"
He said, "sure".
Again I was STUNNED.

Who asks a girl out AND picks the place AND simply stares when the bill comes?!
And y'all it was a hundred dollar dinner.
GULP.

So then we head to the movies as planned.
I'm obviously perturbed a little at this point.
We go to try and get tickets to Mission Impossible which was sold out.
So we decide on the new Sherlock Holmes movie.
I included the trailer for your viewing pleasure.

And y'all before the movie started he complained THREE times about the tickets being $16 each!!!
In my head I was like ummm yea well dinner was $100...
And before you ask no he didn't even offer to get us drinks/overpriced snacks at the movies.

So at the end of the movie he was like how are you planning on getting home.
I told him I planned on taking the subway (well especially NOW after the expensive dinner).
Then he said if I was willing to take a cab home then we could grab some drinks.

At that point I said it was getting quite late and should jump on the subway.
He did have the courtesy of walking me to the subway and asking the attendent if I would for sure make it with my transfer of trains (which was actually really nice of him).
So I rode the subway home.

He called me today because he will be flying out tomorrow and gone for two weeks.
This will give me some time to hopefully sort of back off because to be honest...MrEngineer has been sort of disappointing.
I know I've probably watched way too many romantic comedys in my time but y'all I REALLY want to be pursued and swept off my feet. 
I want that heady sort of semi drunk feeling of falling hard for someone (without the shocking reality of disappointment after re: Spencer; he certainly swept me off my feet and I landed promptly on my a$$ when he bolted).
I want to be treated like a lady. 
I'm not looking for a sugardaddy.
Those who know me in real life know that I tend to spoil the guy I'm with rotten.
I work hard for my money but I also like to treat the person I'm with.
I just thought there would be a little more gentlemanly courtesy this early on.

And right now MrEngineer just isn't cutting it.
So I think I need to cut him from the list.
I just really suck at that.



Pics from here here here here

Oops I forgot my own Blogiversary!

I don't care what anyone says.  I love Kim Kardashian.  I identify with her and her search for love.  She makes me feel so much better about my own booty shape.   I love her style, fashion and makeup.  And hey I also turned 30 this year so I felt like this picture was perfect.

Hey now how did that happen?
I totally forgot my own blogiversary.
Officially I opened this account on December 1st (but had some backdated postings).

So even though I'm a few days/2 weeks late let's take a look back and some instant stats.

One year-ish.
Here are the stats from my stats today...

419 posts
Pageviews today 17
Pageviews yesterday 50
Pageviews last month 1,301
Pageviews all time  11,446
I have 8 followers which is so super exciting!  I never thought I would have that many :)

I love following blogs I have a few favourites.
The great writers make you feel like you know them or at least you can relate.
They inspire me.

In all seriousness one year ago I was in a really dark scary place.
Taylor had been on me for a while to start blogging.
I kept procrastinating.
But sometimes when I felt the lowest of the low...I would come on here and blog.
Sometimes about frivalous materialistic things, sometimes about a movie I had watched, sometimes about family drama, and sometimes just about how badly I hurt.

The comments from you readers have uplifted me, made me laugh, made me smile and gave me hope.
While I'm not completely there yet...at least I'm moving in the right direction.
It's funny I just pulled up my first blog post ever...(read here).
0 Comments.
I didn't know how long this blogging thing would last.
I still don't.
But it helped get me to today.
Which is a lot better then the alternative.

Though I have come far this year...I haven't come far enough.
So I take a deep breath and plow into this next year.
Not knowing where I will be when I post my 2nd Blogiversary (hopefully on time).
But knowing that I will be okay.
And I can't even begin to explain how huge of deal that is.


Pic from here

Thursday Night Girl's Night

So last night Val came to my work and we decided to head out for dinner for a quick catch up.
She suggested Quince.
And we were both very excited and it ended up being OUTSTANDING.

Another one for the TDot hitlist for sure.
Here's what their website says...

Owners jennifer gittins and michael van den winkel have been a part of the yonge & eglinton scene for over 15 years. Quince is a casual neighbourhood bistro in the heart of mid-town toronto, boasting an exciting new look created by commute home.

Chef peter tompkins offers fresh, light, “mediterranian bistro” fare. Using seasonal and sustainable ingredients, whenever possible.

Come for a bite…come for a drink… come and enjoy with friends.

It is in the area of Yonge and Eglington...you may have heard me refer to this area as Young&Eligable which is the coolkid term for this area.
As in I would TOTALLY live here given the chance.

Both the food and company was phenomenol.
Just a quiet night with one of my besties.
Discovering a new gem in Toronto.
Even if I have no idea how to pronounce it's name...

Even signage and font can be inspiring.



Loved this long booth and the art reminded me of fleur-de-lis.




Cozy and cute.




I was obsessed with these red chairs!!! Amazing pop of colour.



Etched into the wall...sort of like cave men drawings.

Val and I both had the soup to start...a buttenut squash with a North African Spice blend YUM!

I had the scallops with lentils and brussel sprout leaves.  Again amaing as was Val's cornish hen though I couldn't find a pic of her's.  Both dinner's were spot on!

Pics from official restaurant website, here here