|Pic from here|
So it is over with Jacob.
I know I've said it before.
But it is done.
Appropriately or conveniently however you like it.
Here's how it all went down after barely talking after that weekend.
And embarassingly word for word.
For all honesty's sake.
Though it might get removed in the future.
Jacob: Hi I was thinking of you all morning.
Jacob: Missing you and the love I felt staring in your eyes when we (well you fill in the blank).
Me: So ummm how come we haven't talked
Jacob: I feel like it will start a fight
Jacob: I feel like you get mad at me and I don't want to fight.
Me: Ok so avoicance is CLEARLY the better choice?
Jacob: No how did you feel with me there and being together? Besides me leaving early.
Me: I felt like you were unsure or uncomfortable.
Jacob: When we were intimate?Me: No when we were haning out. Then I felt like you couldn't wait to leave (um HELLO 4:30am exit).
Jacob: What did you feel when we were intimate?
Jacob: Did you feel mutual love for each other?
Me: I think that is looking too deep into stuff. I'm more concerned about what you did (referencing him leaving early) and I think it was very immature and hurtful and showed that you probably still have a lot of stuff to work on.
Jacob: I'm sorry you felt that way, but you felt my love for you when we were together right?
Me: Not really because I look for that in actions outside of being intimate.
Jacob: No I was staring in your eyes telling you how much I love you
Jacob: I do love you.
Me: Ok but...
Jacob: No but
Me: So what's the deal then?
Jacob: WHat do you want and how do you feel from seeing me?
Me: I don't want how it ended to happen again and I don't know if you are capable of that.
Jacob: Ok so what should we do?
Me: What are your feelings? I think a decision should be made one way or anohter.
Jacob: I love you I felt our love making love (FYI that is way too many "love"s in one sentance).
Me: And then you turned around and acted like that ???It makes no sense.
Jacob: What do you want to do?
Me: I want you to make an action or decision. I"m exhauseted having to be the one to always do that. I want to be the woman in the relationship. It' slike you want me to make decisions because you are unsure and it is incredibly frustrating (ie. I want someone to WANT me).
Jacob: I want to know what you want.
Me: Well l I don't know
Me: I don't want to be with someone who is insecure. What do you want?
Jacob: I don't know.
Me: Ok then I think I will gracefully bow out then.
Me: And the fact that THAT is your response confirms it.
And that my friends is how the Jacob chapters have now closed.