Job Interview(s)

So I woke up bright and early Thursday morning to head to the TDot
for my first career job interview in Canada.
I dressed up all snazzy and professional and started driving.


About 20 minutes into my drive on the high way I notice a missed call.
It must have been the blaring Britney CD I had going to pump myself up.
And it was a second job interview for a different job in Toronto.
So I called back to schedule an interview for later that afternoon.


An hour or so into the drive I was sweating.
Okay obviously it was way too much hype from Britney and bobbing around in the car.
So I turned the AC on blast and held my elbows out
(I was totally sweating through my blue striped Banana button up dress shirt ~the new one I talked about here).


So I arrive at this job and it is totally in my dream location.
As I pulled up to the GORGEOUS building right smack downtown in the TDot.
I found myself quickly daydreaming of how cool it would be to take the subway to work.
Catch lunch downtown and live right near the dreamjob.
Then I forced myself to focus because I didn't land the job yet.


So as I walked into the lobby of the dreamjob... I fell in LOVE.
It was beautiful and modern and loft like and open and full of light.
I could totally see myself here.

I find it so surreal being on job interviews.
It is weird and awkward and uncomfortable.
The whole experience is weird to me.
The whole time trying to prove your awesomeness.

 I met with the two owners.

Is it weird that I sometimes still feel like I'm playing dress up?
Anywho...
And had a great vibe.
I kept telling myself to take a deep breath and calm down because the more I talked to them the more I realized I really wanted to work there.
And the more excited I got and I didn't want this to translate into desperation or immaturity.


So it was all going great.
Really the only crazy part is when the financial aspect came up.
It is super hard to explain but in my field sometimes they pay straight up commission...
as in commission only no guaranteed money at all.
Zip Zero Zilch.
At least waitresses get some sort of guaranteed money.
This is very VERY stressful.
Especially because I want to live in a very VERY expensive city.
The other option is basically to rent space (but I don't have any way to really do that).
It is definitely a conundrum because some people view it as amazing potential...whereas worryworts like me don't understand how you are supposed to live with 0 guaranteed income.
And if you are asking NO I didn't know this before pursuing my profession because it didn't used to be like this at all.  It used to be you had some sort of base to at least get you by.  This is a more recent thing (the last 3 year+ in Canada).
So ummmm how do you budget that??? In a very expensive city.
Stressed!


The good news they have already called and I have a second interview scheduled for Monday.
This is great great news.
I'm nervous and definitely have to get prepared for it.
I'm trying NOT to focus on the financial aspect of it though it has me very very very stressed.
And I could totally tangent into the fact that I spent 6 figures on my education to come out to a job that is all commission...wtf!

Moving on...
So the great thing was I was able to meet Eva for lunch at Yorkdale
(the mall I went to with Taylor read here).
We had a wonderful lunch and got to shop around for a bit.
Eva was doing great with less than 10 days until her wedding.
She didn't seem very stressed at all!
I walked her to her car and gave her a big hug and told her this would be so great to be able to do on a regular basis.

Then I headed out to my second interview.
Which was a really cool and different focus job.
Nothing that I have ever seen before.
The president of the company loved me.
The head of what would be my department ...not so much.
Thought it is technically the same overall field ...he is not the same profession.
Honestly he had this kind of skeptical pursed lips/smirk across his face the entire time.
Kind of like this...

Annoying right???  And he wasn't as cute as the guy above.
So I just did my best.
I found out in the last year they have been through 8 of my profession!
Which is likely more of a testament to this guys ability to work with others.
He also asked me, "do you have any references that aren't from Asia."
Which I found rude actually.
But yet humorous because the guy was Asian in ethnicity!
I totally got a weird vibe from him the whole time.

Here is my super weirdo personality though.
I can totally work with jerks and egomaniacs...I'm so good at putting a smile on my face at the most ridiculous tasks and smoothing things over.
And am totally open to working with other professions in my field.
I actually do so quite well.
In fact I don't think there are many people (in my profession) who can suck back their ego for the good of the person you are providing services for.
In a sense I felt like "hey buddy I'm so your ideal candidate!"
Heck I've sucked up any professional ego I could have had and have been working as a receptionist for 6+months. (Obviously didn't tell him THAT).

However, after talking to theGirls about it they were like...yes Teagan you are great with working with people like that but it would totally SUCK...and would be draining on you and you don't need to constantly prove your profession to someone else.
So I tried not to be so bummed when yesterday I got the "we selected another candidate" email.

Plus the dreamjob (minus financial issues) second interview is Monday.
Now I have to just knock their socks off and figure out how I can swing it financially.
Because I need to move to Toronto and I need to do it soon.

Also random follow up my cousin Bella ...
(remember who was supposed to move with me to the TDot.)
MIGHT get a promotion in my hometown so she says she wants to "move in September" to the TDot now.  Ummm rightttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt (totally don't believe it).
Which just makes it a lot more difficult to figure out how to move without a roommate.

But maybe I should take a positive outlook.
Maybe having flatmates again can be fun.
It was great for me when I was in Singapore.

I'm trying not to let these hurdles get in the way of doing what I need to do.
The alternative is just too depressing.
I just have to stay focused and believe that things will work out.
They have to.




Images from here, here,

Possibly a window...

So you know the whole when one door closes a window is open or maybe it's another door opens or when God closes doors he opens windows or something like that.

Well I wasn't going to post about this BUT I'm so excited I'm practically jumping out of my chair and arm flapping around.

I wasn't going to but I am just way way too excited to not write this down.

There is a job posting that JUST came up
coincidentally as I posted my Master Plan post (see here).
Anywho without getting into too many specifics.

It is SMACK downtown TDot aka Toronto.
It is focusing on my specialty.
There one line posting says that my specialty is an asset :)
I've been told recently by a lot of people that I'm good at what I do (GREAT ego boost).
This opportunity could be really really great.
So I hunkered down fixed my resume and wrote an email and just hit send.
And I'm so excited at this possible amazingly perfect window of opportunity.
It is almost too good to be true.
I will keep you posted.

It is definitely a step in the direction against the inertia of suckholeness.
I could not be more excited though I keep TRYING not to get too excited.
Way totally too late for that.



Pic from here

The Master Plan...breaking out of the vortex of suckholeness

Okay I've been totally dragging ass my feet at making decisions
and actually DOING something.
I passed all the tests I was fretting about.
And instead of being all proactive and having everything organized so I could take a sprinting start... I dwelled...and I dawdled...and I've done NOTHING.

I mean I went to yoga and my temp work and continued with life but I put everything on hold.
I unpacked a bunch of boxes a few weekends ago and just left them.
Organized into groups but untouched and unpacked none the less.
Which is exactly how my life is was...a bunch of things sorted into piles but laying there unpacked...uncommited to a box if you will.

I few of my friend dropped hints lately like...soooo Teagan what's up now that you passed?
And I kind of brushed it off in that I was getting organized etc except really I wasn't.
You see I am was still stuck on how much my #1 goal was to be in my dream place (Florida) working (well frankly married but that is not happening obviously)
and it is impossible and I just need to admit defeat (for now).
I need to stop being sad over Spencer and being a (still cringe when I say it) divorcee
and I just need to do something really anything to break free of this suckhole that is my life.

I am currently stuck.
And someone told me that I just have to figure out a way to go against the inertia and just do SOMEthing.
So I am.
Val and I went to Tim Horton's to come up with the Master Plan...
and with minimal tears shed we came up with one.

First...where to go.
Since I had been looking at jobs basically overseas...and because I think I might be allergic to the cold (well I shouldn't joke around about that because Eva actually is allergic to the cold
but that is a story for another day.)
I love working overseas or being a foreigner (hence the last 8 + years of my life).

So Val tried to pinpoint why I love this and why I want to go away (again).
Here is what I came up with:

• It's fun discovering new food/culture/life/setting up.
• You tend to put yourself out there more and it seems like there are more activities to do.
• You automatically have a cute accent. (I don't care if this is shallow).
• You are different (therefore more attention..again I know this sounds horrid).
• I like the weather.
• Travel opportunities.
• I don't have the stress of my family.
• It's not the suckhole that is my home town.
• The taxes aren't outrageous (thank you Canada).
• I have more opportunities with work (in terms of what I can do outside of Canada~kind of complicated to explain this fully).

So Val and I talked it out...because in all reality my end goal is still to end up in the South
(what can I say I fell in love with the Southern USA years ago).
Val pointed out that I could still try to pursue this goal while working here and it is easier here with my support system.

Also, in reality when you go away it is very difficult to make a ton of money.
Well let me clarify...a lot of places that are ethical you are working in a foreign country for the "experience" (which actually translates to you won't make near the amount of money you would in North America).  There is an exception to that rule but it involves being unethical and really scamming people in a sense and all kinds of things that I refused to do during my time in Asia.  I will explain it all later but in essence you can make X and do this in North America...or you can earn 3X (literally TRIPLE salary) and you work things "our way"...which so would NOT fly in North America.  So it isn't like some careers where you are lured to a foreign country with house allowance, car allowance and all other kinds of perks (at least not in my field).

If I was to go away the likelihood of me being in this same EXACT position
(ie. finished with another foreign experience with not a bunch of money saved  and searching for some kind of root system) in 2-5 years is very very high.
And lets face it as much as I have fun memories and traveled places I'm whistfully lustful of what my friends have (love and family... which ultimately doesn't come from country hopping).
So it was time to maybe decide to stay here...or at least give it a fair try in my career for a year...if I hated it then I can up and move somewhere foreign.
As a very close friend of mine once said... "nothing's permanent." 

First plan of action:  Move to Toronto for a minimum of 1 year.
Timeframe: by the end of June.
Things essential for this: find a job in Toronto.

Second, part was to deal with Jacob.
As in I need to stop talking to him because it is wrong to talk to him.
So these daily conversations need to stop.

Even if he says things like...

you are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep (hmmmmmm I wonder if you do that while in bed with your fiancee?!?!?! but of course I don't have the guts to say that)...he says things like ...

"I love you ...you are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with...I want us to be a family...I miss (fill in the blank with examples of our history together)...I can't wait to see you (because yes at this point we are still talking about meeting up though in my defense I don't think it would ever happen) and be able to hold you and kiss you...
I think about you EVERY SINGLE DAY...

This is all bad bad bad...even though in my vortex of suckholeness I am eating it up.
Just got to stop...cold turkey.

Second Plan of Action: No more talking to Jacob (who is engaged...bad stupid Teagan!!! and yes I totally just refered to myself in third person GROSS!)
Time Frame:  May 24th (Val made me pick a day but I guess that is a good idea).

So really I think I built this up a lot more then what it actually is.
Oops sorry.
So there it is ...I am implementing it already.
I packed and reorganized 20 boxes this weekend (post to come on that!).
I also revamped my CV/resume/work experience.
But I continuously talked to Jacob because I have until the 24th right?
(Val would totally KILL me for saying that haha).

So I apologize for the buildup for a master plan that is kind of lack luster at best.
But here it is anyway.
So I will keep you posted on the progress which has a much better focus now :)
Thanks to a kick in the butt (that I didn't want but desparately needed) from various friends this last week.

PS in case you are wondering I haven't talked/heard from/received Divorce papers from Spencer.  I'm going to have to reach out to him again (I'm just trying to avoid having to fork over the $3400+ that is would cost in this country to get a divorce).  I don't want to reach out to him but I think I will have to...what  a pain in the butt.  I wish I never met him.  I don't care about everything happening for a reason etc. and trusting in God's plan for you life etc.  Woah need to stop doing down that negatory path...  However, Val (who is the FOURTH person to tell me this kind of very specific thing) is glad things ended like this because she didn't want me chopped up and decomposing in a river because Spencer lost it...other friends have said that I don't need a Wikipedia page like Laci Peterson...I apparently didn't see this in him but I guess he really is a sociopath.  Probably will make more sense after I finish my whole exboygriend project.  One day I will never have to ever ever deal with him again.  Thank goodness.  I just wish that since he wanted it to be over he would take some action to finally finish things.  Because I am so ready to move on with my life as evident by my new master plan.

PPS totally using work to blog and job search...what?!?!?! I'm allowed!




Pics from here and here.

A Royal Invitation

So the usual bubbly happy positive Teagan would be all about the Royal Wedding.
I probably would have taken the day off work (from my temp job not my career job-that is a shoutout to you SoMidwestern!) and had a tea-party complete with hats and gloves and dresses.

I would have probably scoured all the details I could find.
I love the Royals...love the idea of everything behind it.
Probably with a slightly childish dream of being a princess.

Then my world went dark.
I will soon tell the whole story of my fairybook wedding I was planning.
To the man I was already married too.
Confused?  Well you should be but it will all come out in MyExboyfriendProject.

I was obsessed.
Well likely because I had nothing to do at all.
Just hours of boredom.
So I planned every single detail of every single thing for the September 2011 wedding.

I dragged my parents to wedding shows (Spencer couldn't come because he had his career in Florida and I was stuck in Canada awaiting my spousal/fiancee visa).
It was a mix of do-it-yourself and some over the top aspects.

My dad and I soon started the tradition over June through September of watching Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings on TLC every Friday night.
And then everything came crashing down.

I had to cancel all the vendors.
I remember when we booked everything thinking...gee that is terrible that they have to include cancellation policies...never thinking I would be the one to use it.

I had to make the decision to keep the wedding dress or not? (it was 75% paid for).
When I went to the Wedding Shows I had labels made up of our information so that I didn't have to fill out ballots.
I wanted to win us free honeymoons, and photography etc.

Instead all I got was put on a zillion wedding email spam lists.
So now I get DAILY emails of all the things I'm NOT planning for.
I keep trying to delete and insert filters but still get emails that sneak through daily.

So when the Royal Wedding was announced I avoided everything about it like the plague.
But the last few days it has been everywhere.
And I have to admit I love Kate Middleton's style.

I think she is beautiful and smart and elegant.
So now I'm slowly getting pulled in though it makes my heart ache for what I don't have.
So for now I will safely just admire her fashion.
And maybe just maybe I will watch the Royal Wedding...though I'm still undecided....but maybe.

Here are some of my FAVOURITE of her outfits...enough to make me crave an Issa dress of my own.

The Blue Issa Engagment dress is a DREAM!  Beautifully wrapped I am in love!

The Ivory Engagment Pic Dress is also Gorgeous...

It doesn't hurt to have a FABulous body.  I love white bikinis.

What a coincidence...a Burberry Trench (still saving for mine).

Yesterday she was out shopping in this black dress.  Classic and beautiful.

Of course...my obsession that all started with Taylor in the South...HATS!!!

And my new favourite...Fascinators...I wore one to my own pseudo-wedding.  I'm secretly hoping Kate wears one to her's.  I wore one to Jane's wedding in October and am contemplating wearing one to Eva's wedding next month.  I think they are so formal and fun.

(above is actually her sister I think).

So that is my fashion round up of Kate Middleton... my newest style love.

Life Decisions

So I'm anxiously still awaiting the Provincial results.
I think they are mailed from what Shelby can remember and due to the fact that 3/4 correspondence with them in the past is via snail mail I think that is how it goes.
And remember what a nightmare that was for the provincial test?  (read here at the bottom!)
And was is so super duper annoying is that I cannot proceed at all in any fashion until I get that mail.
As in there are forms and numbers that I can't get online.
Which is driving me nuts!

Partially because I practically want to jump out of my skin.
I'm done waiting...I'm tired of being patient...I feel like I might just scream at someone at any moment because I'm tired of all of it and I just want to get the heck up out of here.
I feel like I've been standing on a ledge and the cramping in every part of my body is unbearable and I just want to jump.
Of course I want to jump and land gracefully and poised just like a superheroine.

So this morning my dad stops by my desk to let me know that there was still no mail because all my official/professional things currently go to their address.
Granted it apparently takes 6 weeks which is technically this Saturday coming up.
And my dad (ever the patient and ever the most relaxed person on this planet) says, "Teagan relax its not like you are going anywhere any time soon.  You have to just settle down and realize that you will likely be here until the end of the year."

My blood boiled instantly and I calmly (while wanting to scream and throw a huge hissy fit and flip my desk etc) said, "When I get those results I'm out of here.  This is hell for me and you should be happy I'm considering Canada and not a different country."
Dad says, "Well that hasn't really worked for you before now has it Teagan" ouch that felt like a cold hard smack to the face.
I defiantly stuck my chin up and said, "I'm leaving as soon as those result come in."

What I REALLY felt like yelling was...I get it...I get that EVERYtime you have told me not to do something and I did...you were "right"...I get that...I really do...but it's also easy to have the world's most negative outlook ever and then to say "I told you so"...but I can't just do what you want me to do because it makes me MISERABLE...I have hated these last few months here...it has sucked any happiness or Independence I once had out of me...and I hate myself here...I desperately want out of here and I will be leaving...also by doing the things and making the choices I have made I have had some amazing life experiences...these last two years if I had stayed in Canada maybe I would have a house and be more established in my career...but I wouldn't have hiked a volcano just to watch the sunrise in Bali...gotten a Thai massage in Thailand... ridden an elephant in  Thailand with my bestie Taylor while drinking Heinnikens (it was so hot that I actually drank beer!)... had drinks in a pool with new best friends in Bintan (Indonesia)...chartered a private boat just to go snorkeling in Malaysia...placed my painted handprint on a cement dam with hundreds of school kids in Korea...danced on a beach at 4am with thousands of other people in Singapore to world renowned DJs...my mistakes and "bad decisions" have lead to things that I cherish about my life...so I'm going to continue to screw up if it means all of that!!!!  Holy schmoly that was a vent and a half.

Unless the reason I haven't gotten anything in the mail is because I failed.
Ughh I refuse to fall back into a panic induced depression over the slim chance I failed the provincial part.
I'd rather make mistakes and make choices with my life that I can live with.
I guess what it comes down to is no rewards come without any risk.
I just have to be a little more careful with my heart.

PS the weather here sucks we got 15 cm of snow over night but the ice is what keeps knocking out the power and all I'm trying to do is post darnnit!

Calgary Trip from Mid February Recap

So the week had started off incredibly terrible and I was still in a state of shock that my Grandfather had passed away on the Monday of that week.
But after careful consideration and support from my friends (including my blog friends that I heart).
I decided to go take the tests in Calgary.
So Friday morning a cab came to my place at 5:30am (way too early) and I headed to the small airport in my city.

I've never actually flown out of my home town.
Its a tiny airport with only 2 baggage claims carousels if that gives you a better idea of size.
It was weird to be flying because I officially haven't flown since I'd returned from Asia in May.
It brought back a flood of memories of Spencer but I tried to push it to the back of my mind.
Even in this tiny airport they have one of those x-ray things and of course I am "randomly selected" to that or a pat down (I've heard the horror stories of the pat downs) so I took some extra radiation instead.
It was pretty fast and before I knew it I was on my way.

I landed in Calgary and found my way to the car rental with my luggage.
The whole time grumbling to myself ...I miss travelling with my husband.
I just felt so gosh darn lonely.
But I tried to push that to the back of my mind after all I have HUGE scary tests to be focusing on.
So I got into my rental car and off I went.
I had packed my GPS (I'm completely USELESS with navigation) and it comes down to like Calgary or Calgary city.  I (mistakenly) assumed I wanted the city (to me this would be more downtown).  But I started driving...and driving...and driving...and finally noticed that I was driving right past the downtown looking aspect. 
This is what I saw that made me think I was NOT travelling in the right direction.

Yes there was definitely nothing around and I was by the D'Arcy Ranch Golf Club (see directly above).  So I pulled over and changed the settings to Calgary and soon found myself headed towards what looked a lot better as a "city".  Even from a distance when I started to turn off one of the main highways I could tell it was more of a "downtown".  And I had already driven past that  same highway and thought to myself ...hmmm I feel like I'm driving past the highway that would take me downtown but since I trusted the GPS I went right on past.  See these are the pics I snapped when I turned off to go down the main highway.

 And I'm actually not doing it real justice (its kind of from far away) but I was all excited that I was getting close to downtown instead of driving in the middle of nowhere.  Here are some pics off the net of the city skyline of Calgary (its not a tiny city but not super metropolitous either).

I know I know could I miss driving past that giant city?...but I did.  I chalk it up to nerves about the test and desparately trying not to think of my grandfather's funeral.  Also the flying put me in a total tailspin about Spencer.  So I headed to the Westin in Calgary thank goodness for having that comfort.  I like their beds there for sure.  I obviously did check if there was a W in Calgary but "settling" for the Westin is pretty good haha.  The hotel was beautiful and that night (for all you hockey fans) there was the visiting NHL team playing the Calgary Flames staying there so there was tons of fans outside the hotel the whole time but it was cute becuaes it was mainly kiddos.  Here are some pics from Westin Calgary's website.

Like the photos?  Good because besides the testing sites that is about all I saw of Calgary for 4 days.  It would be nice to go back for the Stampede one year.  So I kept on studying the rest of the day and night.  I was so full of jitters for the test and honestly I didn't feel focused. 

So Saturday I got up bright and early for the provincial test.  I got there and chatted up some other people taking the test probably about half of them were taking the national one the next day also.  SO I was used to American state tests where you cannot bring ANY things with you into the room (no purse, no phone, no notes etc) so like the American state exam I left my notes in the car.  So we settle in for the test (probably like 30 people) and the proctor starts to read out the instructions and says "okay so its open book so you can use your notes".  The blood drained from my face.  It was  open book?!  How did I miss that I had POURED over the entire 2" binder of notes they provided and their website.  Is it possible I missed that HUGE fact.  OMG what do I do.  So I raised my hand and in front of all 30 people meekly said "ummm I had no idea it was open book and my binder is in my car can I go get it?"  After the proctor okayed it with other test takers I ran to my car and back in.  My eyes were burning I was so completely embarrased.  How had I missed this huge fact.  So I breezed through the test now that it was open book (and I was kind of pissed because I would have spent way more time studying for Nationals versus the Provincials that I spent so much time on).  I was the first person done the test though.  And one of the proctors was like "guess you didn't need the binder so much after all."  But I was super embarrased because I felt like it made me look completely unprepared and that is so NOT me. 

So then I had the afternoon to sit through another portion that I could get out of the way that was part of the provincial mandatory training program.  Most of the people there that were taking Nationals the next day didn't stay they left to study.  So I was a little concerned that maybe I should be studying also but since I had signed up before hand I stuck it out.  Another girl (Canadian that was still in school in the US) came up to me and was like I bet I know why you didn't know it was open book.  I was like, please tell me because I'm mortified that I looked so unprepared.  She showed me a letter that she recieved on Tuesday (test was Saturday) that was the only place it says open book.  Well my mail for "official" stuff goes to my parents place who had left on Monday for Europe for my Grandpa's funeral.  (Sure enough when I got home I had recieved that letter (soooooooooooo frustrating but at least I know I didn't miss a HUGE glaring fact)).

The next day was Nationals.  It was terrifying for me...I don't know why I was so scared but I found it difficult becuase it was vague.  I was shaking so badly in the rooms (it takes place in multiple rooms).  I felt like I BOMBED the first two rooms I just couldn't settle down at all for some reason.  Those four hours were incredibly long and stressful.  I just did NOT feel good leaving that exam at all.  I was planning on getting a massage at the spa after the exam but I was so upset at myself that I totally didn't want to.  So I was just completely bummed and ordered in some room service.  It takes 6 weeks to get these result but I did not feel good about the National test.

However, the good news was that next up was Winterpeg! (What me and all the girls call Winnipeg because it is so freaking cold there).  But it would be my first time to see Sophie in her new house and her new puppy!  So I was excited and there is nothing better for me than hanging out with one of my girls.  Off to Winterpeg!

2011 Goals Here's to a new year!

Wow this is hard.
I've been reading some AMAZING blogs and I do love how they can recap and set goals and then find out how it went.  Hey I think someone once said that goals without deadlines are just dreams. So without further ado here are my 2011 goals...I tried to keep it simple seeing as this is my first time.  In no particular order...

Materialistic Goal
The Burberry Trench~ buy it, wear it, embrace everything it means to me.

Travel Goal
One trip out of the country needs to be booked...even if its an overnight shopping trip or hopping across the ocean.  I love to travel and it is part of who I am.

Fitness Goal
Spin to Toronto and spin at least once a day even if its only for 5 minutes (the days that I sleep in my home where my bike is of course).

Superficial Goal
When I leave the house put on some makeup- my minimum is powder/lipgloss and mascara (if I'm feeling super ambitious) it takes a few minutes and I will feel better once I'm out.  Also before going to bed washing my face and removing any eyemakeup.

Home Goal
No clothes on the floor (hamper/hang will be my only options) and make my bed every day.  By a queen size mattress (everyone know my dream bed and that is just a dream (not goal) for 2011!)  Also to become excited about living in Canada which is a tough one to swallow because I had an entirely different plan for the last year or so.

Heart Goal
Go on dates (not right this second) and enjoy myself again.  Trust that there is someone out there that is just for me and everything will click and he won't abadon me.  I don't expect to necessarily find that person this next year but at least trust that this is a very real possiblity for me.

Finance Goal
To understand fully Canadian financial services and figure out RRSPs, taxfree savings accounts, GICs and mutual funds.  To realistically understand finances and have a better clear cut plan for myself.

Career Goal
Kick off my career in Canada and find an amazing job in the Toronto area.  Build my confidence in what I do and be proud of myself.  Also I would like to start a website and start to brand myself.  One of the things my girlfriends say I do well is explaining things to people in easy to understand ways.  This can be a way of communicating that and bettering my career.

Friendship Goal
To be a great girlfriend and to grow closer to my girlfriends that I haven't lived in the same country as for more than 6 years.  To continue to communicate and nurture my friendships with those friends who don't live in the same country but have been such an immense support system to me.

Blog Goal
To finish my exboyfriend project and focus on myself and my goals.

Here they are...not exactly S.M.A.R.T. goals but here is something in writing...maybe I should revisit them more than just at the one year mark...we will see I still haven't decided yet.
Here's to the New Year.
xoxo
Teagan

T. S. Elliot
For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.