Eva's Bridal Shower

So after last Saturday night's bachelorette party

I woke up bright and early Sunday morning

to make the drive into Toronto for Eva's bridal shower.

It was set to be interesting because her fiance is of a different cultural background

and my Waterloo girls are all very "Canadian".

So I dressed up for my final (scheduled) bridal shower for the year (I hope...totally kidding they are okay and I even enjoy myself ...but I can't help but sometimes get that feeling in the pit of my stomach of the emerald-eyed girl being bitter and disappointed at all my missed out showers/parties this year). 

Anywho... onto the MODG-inspired toilet shot of the outfit.

I love the fact that this dress has fantastic pockets! Just like my almost wedding dress.  Though I just realized now that the dress colour basically blends into the walls... random.

And since I loved all the fascinators etc. from the recent Royal Wedding...here was my fun attempt from the side..

From the front...ignore the inch+ of black roots that desparately need a touch up

(this Friday...I think).

So Val, Quinn and myself met up at Tim Horton's before hand to pow wow about game organization.

The shower was being hosted by Eva's fiance's mum.

The only thing she asked of us was that we organize some games.

We headed over there and got to meet a ton of his (soon to be her's too) cousins.

Who are all DROP DEAD GORGEOUS.

I spotted some red soled shoes that practically had the emerald-eyed Teagan ready to snatch them off their feet!  All of them were impeccably dressed up.

They are all of Persian decent so these women had gorgeous thick dark hair, big Jasmine (yup Disney Princess reference) eyes and beautiful skin.

It gave me some excitement to see what they will all wear to the wedding in just a few weeks.

And sort of wondering if my $70 dress from H&M is not formal enough

(I got it a few weekends ago read here) which makes me super duper panicked because I'm not sure where else I would get a formal dress from on such short notice.

So the bridal shower was a lot of fun

and actually reminded me a lot of my family (European) showers.

My Canadian friends and Eva's mum and grandmother's were stunned that there was a full meal for the shower (which is pretty par-for-the-course for European showers that I'm used to).

The food was fantastic and all Eva's favourite Persian dishes!

I was too busy stuffing my face to take pictures  of the actual food :)

But I managed a few of the dessert table (all totally made by hand of course).

So for the games we had...

A Wedding Word Scramble (umm can you tell 2/4 are school teachers organizing  the games)

Bridal Shower Bingo

The Apron Game

Finally the Toilet Paper Bridal Gown

I wish I had taken more pics but I lost my camera during the games organization.

The most hilarious one (because no one knew the big "trick") was The Apron Game.

Have you played it???

So you dress the bride-to-be in an apron COVERED with kitchen items.

(We mangaged to get most of them from the Dollar Store).

She walks through once with the instructions given being "pay attention to her appearence".

She then goes into another room until the game is completed.

That is her flower girl to be who looked ready to go that day...so cute!

So then you give them a piece of paper with an apron picture on it and have them write down everything on the apron...BUT then the game actually begins!

Hahahaha oh the trickery!

You have them turn over the paper and ask questions like...

what side was her hair parted?

what colour were her shoes?

how many rings was she wearing?

etc.

It was awesome and met by a collective groan once the true game was revealed.

It also is a nice gift for the bride-to-be and a fun memory...especially a bride-to-be like Eva who is a regular Martha Stewart in the kitchen.

These were all the prizes for the games!

Overall the games were a total success and honestly probably so much more fun because I don't think Eva's finace's family had ever done anything like that.

They said their favourite game was the Toilet Paper Bridal Dress game.

They did do one of their traditions which was to ask the bride-to-be who would be the next girl to be married...(because apparently that is a gift that the impending bride-to-be has???) and Eva sort of stunned was like "hmmm I have no idea..." and someone from her fiance's family pointed out me.

I went red immediately and thought to myself

oh gosh if only you all knew how far off you are...

and now that I actually have time to think about it

I wished I had graciously smiled

and asked if they knew any cute single guys with a wink...

maybe I could have improved my fun times at the wedding since I'm going solo

but alas I was thrown for a loop completely.

I tried to brush it off and Eva tried to help by saying one of the cousins and talk about why

(thank goodness for the rescue attempt).

So beside that minor random awkwardness it was fun.

Val, Quinn and I were able to laugh about it later...as in go figure out of EVERYone

I got picked out of the crowd for THAT.

Though Quinn was quick to point out that you never know.

So overall we had a fun afternoon

and then I went for coffee Val so that we could devise "the Plan".

More about that later.

Mother's Day Musings

It's Mother's Day here (I do recognize some countries celebrate on different days etc).
I won't see my mum today.
Not because I'm an evil daughter and am refusing to celebrate it.

We've had our ups and downs...and in general I crumble.
I even substituted for her and her spa yesterday so she could go away for the weekend to Niagara Falls with my Dad (hence not seeing my mum on Mother's Day).
Despite all the craziness that has been happening lately, I sucked it up.
And I will try to ignore that everytime I work there she takes without even asking I give her 100% of my paycheck.

My only living grandparent (my Grandma) is in Portugal on vacation.
So this Mother's Day I will spend cleaning and organizing (Yes I'm STILL working on all that that I think I first wrote about here).
I was STUMPED for Mother's Day after all I had a hard enough time with her birthday gift (read about that here).
So I just made reservations at a restaurant downtown that I think is AMAZING for Monday night.
I hope she likes it...though I know not to hold my breathe.

Happy Mother's Day out there to everyone.

PS On a side note...every day gets a little easier without Spencer though I would like it to be resolved as soon as possible (haven't heard from him at all even though he was supposed to file on May 1st)...this morning thinking of Mother's Day I got a little pit in my stomach.  Only last year,  Spencer (of his own volition) called my mum to wish her a happy mother's day...I didn't even THINK of doing this for his mum (I know bad new daughter-in-law)  my excuse was I was 2 days away from moving back to North America from Asia and I was freaking out a little stressed.  This makes me feel sick...how much everything has changed in just one year...but I guess it should give me hope for how different perhaps 1 year from now can  will be.



Pics from here

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I promise I don't regularly dress up my dog...only for a photo op or two. 

He is honestly the greatest dog on this planet! 

Did you know I looked for something in my city to do today for Cinco de Mayo

and there is literally NOTHING to do except on June 12th...

seriously on June 12th is the celebration in the afternoon at a Garden Market area. 

I'm kind of confused by this.

  Guess I will have to wait for my move to the TDot to be able to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in style (Mexico food and a daiquiri ...yummo!) would be great but I don't qualify Taco Bell as Mexican Food and that is the option in my city.  Next year is looking way way up!

Bachelorette Party Saturday

So on Saturday it was the Bachelorette Party set for the girl whose baby shower I wrote about here (quick background if you don't want to link...same venue/photographer/florist/dressstore/etc as Spencer and I had booked...thank goodness Eva's wedding is the same day so I don't have to actually sit through it).
Therefore I couldn't exactly miss the Bachelorette Party (especially with no excuse) and it pretty much is sort of kind of family at this event.
And it was set to be a lot different than Eva's Amazing Bachelorette Party (read here if ya missed it).

First up ...my outfit.
I wrote about it a long time ago.
It is the outfit that I bought that forces me to embrace my KimK body.
It is trendy and not exactly something I would pick for myself immediately.
So without further ado here is the MODG inspired standing on a toilet shot.

The outfit basically a skirt with V'd panels it is a super thick material which I love.
A tight gray cami with a super lose 90s style crop white tank.
A black boyfriend blazer to class it up a bit.
And obviously tights (that were kind of shiny in that they reminded me of Barbie doll plasticy looking legs-well not thin stick ones in my case).

So want to see why it is also a KimKardashian outfit???
Well I know you can tell from above I am super curvy (and I admit that is the least favourite thing about me...you always want what you can't have right...I always dreamed of being a lanky 5'10" girl that was nice and thin)
Let me show you the side view of me.
And my nemesis otherwise known as my boo-tay...

That is not padded.
Nor is it an optical illusion.
That is the bootay that I have (large enough to warrant two syllables).
I'm trying to embrace it.
Usually I stay away from anything that fitted in that "area" but I'm trying to embrace (and actually try to like) my super ridiculously curvy self.

Anyway...with my outfit on I headed over around 6 for our dinner (pizza, meatball, breadsticks, salad, brushetta)
We also had a very detailed penis cake.

And if you were wondering if that was glare or inappropriate detail at the front of the cake...

Yup it is definitely inappropriate detail... in the form of white frosting. 

We had some drinks and hung out and played a few games and got all "geared up" in tiaras and pink boas before heading to a pole dancing studio.

It was actually more fun than I though.
We ended up having some good laughs and getting our dance on.
I didn't know you got "burned" on your skin while pole dancing and do you know what it's called???
Pole burn.
Seriously.
So with only a little bit of pole burn we headed to a retro bar.

See plastic shiny doll legs haha.

They played a decent mix of 80s and 90s
and we continued in the traditional bachelorette party games.
Like getting people to propose to the bride-to-be...

Or dance with the bride-to-be...wasn't she wearing the most fabulous dress???

And you know what?  It was okay.
I definitely felt myself being kind of shy and closed.
I could have forced it and tried to meet people
but I wasn't exactly feeling it wearing a pink tiara and feather boa.
So I made it through my last bachelorette for awhile.
Big sigh of relief.

I'm going to suggest you skip reading this post...for your own sanity...here comes the Mack Truck...

I feel like this guy...

So notice at the top explanation thingy for the blog that I would use this to journal to cover my STRUGGLES and other things…as I get to my Paris (which is a euphemism for me being successful and achieving what I want…though I trip to Paris wouldn’t hurt (and is on my top 10 list of places to go next). 

The rest of this will very much read like a vent.  I am mainly journaling/blogging this so I can look back and remind myself of these events so I can learn my lesson (because at 29 clearly I haven’t learned it yet). 

Last night my parent came over to my brother’s house (and if you haven’t figured it out I have been living there since about October).  They were coming over because they bought a new house within the last couple of months.  It is one floor house that they rent to my Aunt and they converted the basement (fully finished into a 2 bedroom one bath rental unit).  Anywho they wanted me to put it on Craigslist etc. to try and rent it out.  Since my dad still types an entire email in the subject box they came for me to do it.  I already have been feeling pretty sick and under the weather since last weekend and this weekends lack of sleep didn’t really help (oh yea I am working on a weekend update too)…wow I’m really dragging my heals on getting the point of this story out.

So I type it out and update pictures for them all the while they look over my shoulder because they have to have it a certain way which leaves me inside my head thinking…well why don’t you figure it out and do it yourselves because I know whats going to happen people are going to respond via email to your ad and you will have to have me log onto your email in order to respond.  But since I carry the ulcer-inducing guilt around of being a total utter failure as their child I do it and keep my mouth shut.  So after taking over an hour to complete a simple ad (seriously).  I’m finally done…then comes the attacks…

I have some tax checks coming in for a HST (our 13% harmonized sales tax) refund because (shocker) I didn’t make enough money last year so the government feels kind of bad gouging me like that. 

Anyway so my mum says, “I have this cheque for you and I think you should give it to me”

I inwardly sighed and readied for battle.

“I can’t afford to do that mum”

“You are being so selfish and you give us hardly anything I need our money”.  Woah where did that come from…it certainly escalated a lot faster then I thought.

“Well I told you before that I can only afford to give you 20% of my income because of my lawyer expenses/moving expenses/test taking/professional expenses and you were okay with that before.”

“Well I don’t know where all your money goes…you make X dollars every week and I only get 20% you will never pay me back what you owe me and that is selfish and irresponsible”

Well without getting into ALL of it I will try and simplify…my parents offered to pay for my entire education.  Then they changed their mind (after paying).  So pretty much they let me know this past year by hauling out a black book they created (oh there will be a post about that!) and arbitrarily scrawling a dollar amount in it ($216,000 to be exact) they have now started “collecting their debt” because they want to retire soon.  So fair… maybe I am just a spoiled brat.  However, I honestly feel like they did something and then when I didn’t do what they wanted (move back to my hometown and open a business there and live there) they threw it in my face and started making demands.  I admit it I have crumbled and starting doing it (contributing to them) as soon as I started working at my dad’s place and even going as far as letting them have power of attorney on my bank accounts to access money (I know it is stupid and I’m working on closing those accounts off).  Sorry for the tangent-ey side story but trying to make it all make sense.

“Mum I can’t really talk to you about this because I don’t know how to keep explaining the same thing over and over again to you.  Nothing has changed…here is what I spent my money on and I broke it down AGAIN for her (2009 taxes,2010 taxes, paying back ALL the wedding deposits (that my parents had previously paid), and divorce lawyer consultation).  Nothing has changed and I’m sorry but honestly this is the most I can do.”

“You are ridiculous and we can’t even talk to you about anything because you just get upset.  If I was any d*ck down the street you would l*ck my ass and hand over information on a silver platter.  But to your own bloody parents you don’t give a shit”

Need a mum dictionary for that one???

Most of my North American friends don’t get her sayings so…

D*ck down the street = Joe Blow= any old stranger

L*ck their a$$= kiss a$$ but obviously way more intense than that

Okay at this point I’m crying.  I don’t tell “any d*ck down the street”/people my “plan” I make up lies so that I gloss over my decisions.  No one knows what I’m doing for my plan.  But I have to make some kind of conversation when people ask (I work with like 20 family members).  So I gloss over my opportunities and make it sound like I’m keeping it together when all I am doing is barely hanging on.

Every morning in the shower I honestly just sob about going into work again and putting a smile on my face.  Pretending that everything hasn’t fallen apart.  Pretending I’m not the hugest disappointment to my family.  Just saying I only have to get through today and I will be one step closer to tomorrow.  Every day here in my hometown is a struggle that I suffer through.  (Again I realize everything is about “choices” and I’m choosing to stay here in a sense because I have a job and don’t pay rent).

So I reply “I guess I can’t talk with you…there is no secret plan.  If I had all this money to give you I would or I would have used it to move to Toronto MONTHS ago.  I’m trying to do the right thing and pay you.  If you want that refund cheque then why do you even bother telling me about it.  Then just take it.”

“You are disgusting and selfish…I can’t believe you act this way to your parents…you never listen to us and this is how your life turns out.  Go to Toronto you will never survive and you will be cut off…permanently and when you fail and have to come back here we won’t help you AGAIN because you are the one that doesn’t listen and you just f*ck up every time”

This felt like having an ice cold bucket of water dumped over my head…and I couldn’t breathe for a moment and I blinked back the hot tears thinking keep them in Teagan.  And all I could muster in my defence was “I’m really trying my best and I’m sorry you think it is a mistake after mistake…”

With that they stood up to leave "I can’t believe you…you know when people ask me at work what your plan is…I have to tell them I don’t know because my own daughter doesn’t talk to me.  You know Bella tells her mom everything and does everything with her and you are a spoiled brat who keeps secrets”

I felt my heart sink…didn’t she see that with the Yoga classes that I was trying to bond with her?  Every time she talks to me she is the most negative person in the world.  She obsessively criticizes everything… why would I talk to her about my plans when she just tells me that my plans are stupid and wrong and I will fail.  So then they gather their things and leave and her final words “good luck with life you will need it.”

Oh yea and if you’re curious of what my dad does during this he stands silently and observes.

Which is what I'm learnign to do...just absorb it ...don't bother to defend just take it.

I sat in my room with my dog on my lap and sobbed.

I can’t do it and what is the point.

I’m getting whiplash from the back and forth’s of my mum.

Only to have it turn around this morning to have her call and move my hair appointment (where I talked about that here) non-challantely  from this Thursday to next Friday (I know I KNOW I should just cancel it).  And then ask me to respond to the three emails inquiring about the rental unit.  So what do I do?  I agree to it because I suck and this is the pattern (that I allow to happen).  So you see I am actually the problem not my mum because I let this go on...how about that for a revelation?! 

So I'm officially insane...and that quote about "doing the same things and expecting different results= insanity" is what I'm doing.  Which is why this past Sunday Val and I came up with a Teagan year/life plan.  Seriously it is a huge plan and I’ve been working on a HUGE BIG EXCITING NEWS blog post all about it.  Which was completely overshadowed by my dramamama, yet at the same time, confirmed the reason to do this plan.

This morning I feel like I got run over by a mac truck.  I wanted to pull the covers over my head and call in sick today at work (but then I won’t earn any money (I don’t get sick days) and that is very counterproductive).  So I need to just thicken my skin a little more …suck it up a little more…keep my head down and keep going. 

I don’t want to ruin my exciting plan by delving into right now…

I’m just going to try and stick to it and keep trudging (and blog about it another day). 

Pic from here, and here 

X marks the spot...

The Google artists give a nod to the Canadian election today.

But just an FYI..."We don’t use voting booths however, we use tab and slot cardboard screens". You can see them behind the picture of the ballot box in this Elections Canada photo.

It is a Federal Election today...but won't get near the coverage as our neighbours to the South.

Admittingly this is the first time I have voted in years because I never really consistantly voted by absentee (ie. haven't lived here in about 8 years!)

So tonight I'm gettin gmy butt out to vote.

As CBC comedian Rick Mercer urged every citizen between the ages of 18 and 25 to "do the unexpected: take 20 minutes out of your day and do what young people all over the world are dying to do: vote."

Into politics here's a Canadian Explanation...

The Major Players in the Canadian Election

• The Conservatives (economically conservative,socially liberal- sort of like the US Democrats)- Led by Stephen Harper, who is seen as arrogant and more conservative than much of his party base. A Canadian George W. Bush.
• The Liberals (socially and economically liberal)- left of the US Democrats. Let by Michael Ignatieff (ig NAT-ee-eff), who is seen as out of touch, annoying, and absentee- he has lived south of the border for years.
• The NDP (New Democratic Party (socially and economically way, way left)- Led by Jack Leyton, whose policies are seen as fiscally fantastical. Also, he really looks like John Locke from Lost.

The Greens and the Block Quebecois are also players, but Canada's is a proportional-representation government, and no one party is expected to dominate the election. Strangely, the Conservatives stand to gain, due to Ignatieff's unpopularity. The NDP will likely be the real players here, as the more seats they seize from the Liberals (their main competitors for votes), the more influence they will have.

Canada's elections are characterized by apathy, since none of the major parties are expected to mess with core institutions such as provinical healthcare, gay marriage, or civil rights. While the three major parties are making noises about fiscal policy, this is basically a senior-year popularity contest between Harper, Ignatieff and Layton, which is somewhat strange: in Canada, you don't vote for the party leader, but for the party itself.

Continue reading at NowPublic.com: Canada Election 2011: Canadians Vote | NowPublic News Coverage http://www.nowpublic.com/world/canada-election-2011-canadians-vote-2783211.html#ixzz1LDci2CDp

From:  here, here

and I almost spit out my Green Tea all over the computer monitor...

My dad just walked over to my desk and said...

"so...how was the chef?"

seriously?!?!?!

Out of the bajillion details he could have asked about (he knew prior that we were having a chef/doing yoga/wine tasting etc) he asked about THAT!

I stammered out something about how great he was at making out doing the food and wine pairings were...

Pretty sure I turned 8 shades of red (hopefully no one noticed).