Trip to see Taylor!!!!

Monday, September 19, 2011

A Sunday Night Revelation...

Sunday (yesterday) as I was crawling into bed.
I heard it.
The familiar Bleep of an email received.

Then you know how you do the contemplation.
Do I get up and check it?
Maybe it is spam 40% off Madmen Collection at Banana.

And you know you should just close your eyes and go to sleep.
But something compels you to check it.
It was an email (well three) from Jacob.

There it was at 9:49pm.
I'm definitely 100% coming. Are you there?
Then at 9:50
Its important I need to talk to you
Then at 9:52pm
Its not complicated anymore
This made my heart race...
At 9:53
are u there?

So I quickly responded what happened and he said this...
I'm single, its not complicated and I'm not lying I was just going to text you. We broke up today. She talked to her parents about it for about 3 hours, so it won't be complicated when I see you. I am a single. I'm coming Fri

I asked what happened and if he was okay...he responded...
All breaks are sad. The truth is we don't have much in common and she hasn't been giving me any time. I brought up the subject because I felt like it was mutual and she agreed and that's the short of it.  There is no chance of me coming. It's definite. Do you still want to see me now?

I was full fledge panicking for some reason...something about how he said she hadn't been giving him any time...that weirded me out.  When I probed about it...he said,
Teagan the truth is too I can't stop thinking about you and never had the connection like we had

I actually for once was really honest about my feelings ...I let him know I was nervous.
He said, Teagan nervous is ok, I am too. What are you nervous about? I'm not coming there to have sex. I'm coming because I can't stop thinking about you and still love you and I want us.

I said I was nervous because I didn't want to be a back up plan, a consolation prize.
What do you mean backup plan? I brought it up because I wasn't happy and I knew she wasn't either.  Its not like a wedding was being planned or anything, so its more of a gf bf break up. Teagan, I want to see you and we need to see if we should be together we owe it to ourselves. We can take it slow if you want.  We were together for a year and half and still think about each other these past 3 years. We have something there.

I admit I had some reservations.
But then he said
I also think we have both learned from our relationships after and for that we will be that much better now.
I miss you too. I know I didn't make the compromises before but I am ready now and will start by coming to canada friday.
I'm going to update my cell plan so I can call you and we can talk tues or wed. before I come so its not just online. (He always was practical haha).

I had to admit at least now I wouldn't have the guilt...but I wanted to make sure.
So I asked how he knew for sure this was the right decision...
He replied...Well we haven't been intimate regularly and not seeing each other more than once a week which is not normal if your engaged. I had to bring up the subject if she wanted to be with me still and we both agreed that we have nothing in common, etc. Yes I think you are right on the timing. No more waiting  Things are 100% real now. No situations, no excuses.

So we ended our emailing back and forth (now it was just after 11pm).
I should have know by the amount of tossing and turning I did last night.
Things couldn't be that easy.
But I never learn...

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