Sunny Saturday

So Saturday came so quick!
I had a ton of running around to do before Laurel and her fiance's big backyard BBQ!
A rarity in Toronto to actually have a backyard.


So I had some shopping/prep work to do in the am.
And then I thought maybe I would be all Cupcakes and Cashmere and FINALLY try one of her recipes.
It was the one from this post.


It seemed to start off okay.
Okay so I'm sooooooooooooo not Cupcakes and Cashmere and totally ran out of time to make the tart crust...so I may have cheated a little.
Since I don't usually eat pie/tarts I can't tell you if it was good or not.

Before baking...

Poking holes in it (apparently VERY important).

Overpriced Vanilla I purchased on one of the trips to St.Lawrence Market with MrKent.
Seriously it was $22.90 for four pods of vanilla.
I'm a sucker what can I say.

Expensive pod.
But the first pod I actually scrapped by hand.
(I usually just use the extract).

 Baked crust.

Milk/Vanilla pod combo. 

 Sugar and corn starch (may have been the problem).
You see I think I followed the recipe to the letter.
Only instead of a vanilla infused pastry cream.
I ended up with a blobby gelatenous solid mass.
BUT unfortunately since I left it to the last minute.
I just forced/scrapped in somehow into the tart/pie crust.
Oops.

 3 eggs yolks.

 Fresh strawberries.

 Used an egg slicer to get even slices.
A TON messier than I thought.
Maybe the strawberries were too ripe.
But I sacrificed half that just sort of got mushed.

 I enjoyed the huller.
I think that is what it's called.

The final product LOOKED good.

But I'm not so sure it tasted that great.
Just turns out I'm not really a whiz in the baking department.
Certainly I'm no SoMidwestern or CupcakesandCashmere.
Oh well.  Note to self.
Just buy a dessert and save myself the headache/mess/cleanup AND it still cost me similar about the same as if I just purchased a dessert already made!


On the way to the BBQ I stopped to buy bananas, pineapple, cinnamon and ice cream to make grilled fruit because I was afraid of my botched dessert attempt.
Grrrrrrr.
Anywho the BBQ was fun.


So B was there.
Remember when he asked me for my number?  
I wrote about it way back in this post.
I can't remember if I even touched on the fact that I didn't want to pursue him because I like the CanadaCrew that I hung out with and didn't want things to get weird.
Also, I thought he was basically trying to "call dibs" before the other single guy.
Anywho the reason I bring it up is because at this BBQ there were two other single girls.
Both SUPER nice and I really like them.
Only when I found that B was flirting with one of them I got kind of jealous.
Weird right?
Hmmm maybe I shouldn't have just brushed off B.
Still hesitant though.


Maybe I should talk to Laurel and see what she thinks...
Anywho that was my Saturday day/night.
Because Sunday I had a BIG day.
That I will share with you tomorrow.
But it was pretty epic.
And it was definitely me WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY outside my comfort zone.
Until tomorrow...

Another First

Pic from here

As in another first date.
So on Tuesday I took a deep breath.
Threw on a cute dress and heels and walked nervously to my first date with MrDentalSurgeon.


Are you raising your eyebrow at me?
Yes MrDentalSurgeon does the same thing as MrDentist.
And both have similar dark features and a few other things in common.


Oh well.
I didn't want to hold it against him because really I hope no one would compare myself to anyone else either.
Well I guess MrKent did but whatever....wow this may just be a really b*tchy post.


Anywho.
We had exchanged a few messages/texts/phone calls.
So it was time to plan the date...so OBVIOUSLY I put the decisions on him.


He came up with three suggestions.
And they were 1. The Keg 2. Earl's 3. Jack Astor's.
And here is where I turn into a super b*tch.
And obviously none of the following things did I tell him 
(or else I think he would think I was a super snob!).
Oh yes AND these were in the order of what his preference would be.


Here are my thoughts.
First let me explain each one.


1. The Keg (I believe a Canadian chain though there are tons in the US too)- it's a steak place.  They actually do a really decent steak and I enjoy going there 1-2 times a year.  But here's the thing I live in one of the coolest cities in the world with hundreds of cool places to go eat!  Why on earth would The Keg be a top choice?


2. Earl's - I've never been.  However, it is on Thursday nights (this date was Tuesday night so not really the issue) THE meat market/pick up place of Bay Streeters (Toronto's version of Wall Streeters).  If you drive by (which I've done) on a Thursday you will see a ton of sexy suits and women in their tightest tiniest dresses, sky high Louboutons and clutching whatever newest hand bag is in style.  (Clearly this is not my type of place...I would feel so self-conscious around these women!)


3. Jack Astor's- again I actually really like Jack Astor's and it is a go to staple.  In fact Taylor and I went there on her last trip here.  My parents like it and I even went on a date with MrKent to one.  


I'm just a SUPER snob and wonder out of all the restaurants in the city these are your top three?!?!?!
So of course I replied with something nice like, 
"I'm good with all three.  So whatever you think is great :)"
Because I'm a people pleaser like that.


So I meet him at The Keg on York.
Choosing a spot on the patio we finally have great warm weather here.
He was sweet asking if I was too hot we could move inside.
I obviously was like heck no!  I love the heat!

Pic from here

The place was fun.
I had a great glass of wine and we both ordered steak.
And he was cute.
There was definitely a lot of awkward first date timing/conversation things going on.
It's hard because obviously I'm going to compare it to what I experienced previously.


His style is different (think more European) versus New England prep (the style that makes me weak in the knees).
He also wore running shoes with jeans which kind of bothers me...now y'all are probably thinking I'm a HUGE snobby b*tch.


He was really nice.
He told me I looked like Jessica Alba (which always has me grinning ear to ear).
He also walked me to my car.


And we had another awkward exchange where he suggested we go out again immediately followed up by if I didn't want to that was cool.
So I did the only thing I thought of to break the awkward shuffling and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
Which surprised him (and myslef).


I had a fun time.
I probably would go out with him again and see if it was just nervous energy that made things awkward...
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd hope that he doesn't take me to another chain restaurant.
(Finishing off with a super snobby b*tchy comment...wow).

Last Weekend

Last week and weekend I worked hard at being busy so as not to think about MrKent.
It sort of worked.
So let me summarize.

Wednesday I had a sorority meeting at the house.
So that was great.
I'm currently VP of the Alum organization AND
just found out I'm being groomed to be Pres for 2013-2014.
Which has me excited yet super duper nervous.

Thursday I was supposed to grab drinks with Laurel but we decided to change the night.
Friday I headed to the SC (StoneyCreek) to visit Quinn.
Val ended up coming there too.

We had a fabulous dinner and drank some wine.
And cheered as Nik Wallenda walked across Niagara Falls!
Amazing and totally inspiring!
(Yes I'm a total cheeseball that loves to watch people succeed).

Pic from here

Saturday I woke up and Quinn, her husband and her baby went out for breakfast.
Then we came home to feed the baby.
Seriously how cute is she?!?!?!

Then I headed to my hometown.
When I got to my parents place it was a little too noticeable that Arlie was gone.
Then my parents made plans to go out for dinner at one of their friend's places.

So I called up Shelby (who lives in my hometown).
And invited her over for dinner.
She suggested we go out for drinks at a pub.

So I forced myself out.
It really wasn't that fun at all.
Reminding me that the icky hometown feeling may never pass.
But at least I forced myself out.

Sunday was a lazy Father's Day spent BBQing and hanging out.
And going to get my mum a new iPod and showing her how to use it.
(And yes we got my mum an iPod on Father's Day which is kind of funny in a way).
My little brother is in the Bahamas so he wasn't around.

And as I packed up my car (with a bunch of work done on it again).
I found myself returning to the TDot with entirely way too many things.
Does this happen to you to when you head home?
Or am I just totally spoiled???

Here is the loot in my front hall.
And the breakdown of the food!

Tons of stuff at my front hall!

My parent crack me up because they now remember to get me my healthy things I like (veggies and fruit)...I think it's a secret ploy to get me to try and take home the entire tray of rolls stuffed with chorizo (it worked!)

Close up of the totally unhealthy white buns stuffed with sliced up Chorizo bits (a Portuguese sausage).

Home made prefrozen(just have to be fried) Samosas.  Yum!

Individual portion sized chicken curry (we are Portuguese but my parents had some Indian friends when they first moved to Canada so I grew up eating this yummy stuff!)

Individually portioned ribs and Boerewors (a South African sausage that I love...both my parents families grew up in Rhodesia and Zimbabwe).

Another South African fav (that is stored in a paper sac and I've been snacking on all week...Biltong which is essentially beef jerky...my parents South African butcher makes it for our family!)

So yes it was a good weekend.
That had me unwinding but still thinking about things way too much.
But I came back to the TDot refueled for another week.

Coming up (sorry for the delay in posts)...
A first date post.
My crazy weekend coming up post.

An invitation...

I owe y'all a quick weekend update post which I will get to tomorrow.
BUT I wanted to share with you some super exciting news.
Well at least super exciting for me!


So Laurel asked me to be one of her bridesmaids!!!
I'm so completely honoured and flattered.
I am just so so sooooooo excited.


I know what y'all are thinking...really not such a big deal ...OH but it is!
I've only ever been a bridesmaid once and that was for my cousins wedding in 2006.
I've never been asked to be in any of the Waterloo girl's weddings.


So for this invitation to come I was stunned.
It nearly brought tears to my eyes.
She actually wants ME to stand with her on her wedding day!


I feel really just so honored that she asked me.
And I can't wait for the getting ready and girly fun!
So so so happy!


Also because I think this can officially mean I'm making new girl friends in the city.
And that is one of the biggest most exciting things ever!
Yay!  
Here's wishing I look this good! 

Pic from here

Pondering

Just a little bit of thinking inside my head here going on.
I wonder if MrKent feels relieved after having the talk.
Like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.


Like how I felt after calling things to an end with MrRussian.
Or when I stopped dating MrFinance.
I know it really does NOT matter.


For all I know the person before me that broke his heart.
Totally came back into the picture.
I should probably stop picturing her as some model tall thin blond woman too.
Again because it does NOT matter.


Isn't it kind of funny how it is a TON easier being the dumpER versus the dumpEE.
I mean it isn't fun breaking up with someone.
When I've been in that position I feel totally anxious and I feel guilty.
But then it's super easy to move on.


I really very quickly don't notice missing text messages.
(Gosh darn WHY did MrKent if he wasn't interested message me every single freaking morning with variations of "good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?")?!?!?! Annoyed.
Whereas now (being the dumpEE in this situation) every beep or vibrate of my phone makes me jump a little and secretly hold my breath with only the teeniest hope that it may be MrKent.
It won't be.
I know this.
And it's totally embarrassing to admit that is what I do.


But I don't want y'all thinking I'm spiraling down.
I'm totally jumping back on the horse if you will.
I have a date lined up for Tuesday.


I also am keeping and will be keeping myself super busy!
I had a sorority meeting last night.
Plans for drinks tonight with Laurel.
Sleepover with Quinn Friday.
Saturday and Sunday I'm headed to my hometown for Father's Day.
And plans for the next two weekends as well.


So I think I'm doing rather well.
The super AMAZING comments from you readers totally helps so so SO much!
I can't even begin to wrap my head around the amazing support and kind words.
Luv y'all!


And with that ...yippe ki yay M*therF'er.
Sometimes I'm sort of random.
Really not sure where THAT just came from. haha.

Pic from here

It's not me it's you

These last 48 hours have particularly dragged.
BUT I'm trying to put a positive spin on things.
While secretly hoping thinking MrKent will regret his decision.


After all I made him hot toddy's this past Saturday when he was sick.
I am sweet.
I am nice.
I laughed hard at all his silly jokes.
I found his messy bachelor pad endearing not annoying.
I was gracious even with the "it's not you it's me speech" I sat through basically just listening to what he had to say...
and I didn't even cry once (in front of him).


I am just dusting myself off and trying to round up a few dates.
I think there are two things that have resonated greatly with me in these last 48 hours.


One is something I've been trying to live by...

I also need to be more proud of myself/confidant.
Funny enough it was something MrKent mentioned as he gave me "the talk".
He said, "you don't give yourself enough credit".
And when I looked at him puzzled, he mentioned three specific comments that I didn't even realize I said outloud.
One of thes was "I know I'm not everyone's "type""...I know I'm not I'm curvy...I'm not skinny tall model like.
It's like some people (like me) find Kim Kardashian GORGEOUS...and others just don't see it....it made me realize I'm pretty critical of myself (specifically my body).


So maybe I should at least believe in myself as much as a boy who just dumped me does.
After all the issue was his issue.
And for once I really believe it wasn't me that was the problem.
And that is a pretty huge revelation.

Awake

Pic from here.

At 3:23am.
I woke up.
All sweaty and stressed and anxiety ridden.
Ughh I hate nights like this.
My first thought.
MrKent.
The memories come flooding back of mere hours before.
"....I'm not being fair to you" he started with.
And that heavy knot returns to my stomach.
Then I think of Arlie who I usually turn to in heartbreak.
Right he is gone too.
Then I glance at my phone.
A message from Jacob "I miss you".
And I panic.
I try to force myself to sleep.
Knowing the exhaustion I will feel in a few hours.
Dreading the questions from my work colleagues 
who I had bragged about my weekend in wine country with MrKent.
And I'm not sure if I will actually get back to sleep.