Here's how nothing changed

Sorry to keep you suspense.
Thursday.
I was so nervous I could barely sleep.
Trying to pick the most flattering of my non-flattering work clothes.

I was so so nervous and the day seemed to drag on until lunch.
And as I waited for MrAttorney in the lobby of my work building...butterflies.
He came around the corner handsome as ever.
Laughing and pulling me into him in a hello.

As as we giggled and began a walk to lunch it was less awkward than I thought.
Until 10 steps in we ran into someone who used to be another attorney's assistant.
And this awkward introduction moment of being asked if I was also an Attorney and the puzzled look on the ladies face when I said nope another profession.

We sat to have lunch.
Where it was like we didn't miss a beat.
Giggling and teasing each other.
And me being reminded of how handsome and funny he is.

He kept asking me what was new.
And asked about things I had done like Dallas and Ann Arbor trips.
He caught me up on his family and his life.
Asked me some advice on things.

And as we chatted and caught up I found myself realizing how much I missed him.
He made a comment about how his grandfather who is very ill and soon to pass away made him realize that "life was short"...and my hopeful heart pounded.
And as we made our way back to my office I asked him why he invited me out to lunch.
He said it was because it was my birthday and he missed me.
I joked that well he could check it off the list then.
And as I stalled uncomfortably outside my office he said do you think we should talk.
And I put it back on him I thought so if he wanted to.

And then I was up in my office in a blur.
Where was this going?
I had so many unanswered questions.
So with gusto I messaged him thanking him for luch and asking if we needed to talk.
His response "You want to talk?  As you typically say...it that what you want?"
I said yes.

Being the impatient girl that I am I practically insisted on doing so sooner rather than later.
And with that I found myself out to dinner with him across the street at a little sushi place.
When he saw me he made a comment about it being his lucky day seeing me twice.
And as we sat there eating sushi we reverted right back to our old selves.
Him eating the sashimi part off the top of the roll so I could eat the roll (too much fish on sushi is not my fav...he remembered so he did that).
And I found myself mumbling that I missed him and could you pass the soy sauce.
He said me too oh and I also need the soy sauce.

And so with that I launched into the fact that I missed him but I'm at a point in my life where I want to be in a relationship.
And he is in the exact same place.
He said he hasn't dated anyone since but filled his life with work/sports leagues/family stuff.
I told him I was dating.
He said well at this point really you could have had a boyfriend.
But really he just missed me and wanted to catch up.

And I was upset.
Y'all were right.
And with that we left the restaurant and as we stood outside in the cold neither of us wanting to leave.
He kissed me on the cheek I tried not to cry.

He offered to walk me a little ways towards my place.
Which turned into a side trip to his work so he could grab a bag and then we were in a taxi to my place.
Him leaning against me arm around me.
Me frustrated.

He dropped me off and got out to let me out of the taxi.
He pulled me towards him and briefly kissed me on the lips before pulling me in for a hug.
And with every fiber of me I didn't want him to leave.
He had to meet his parents though.

We briefly texted later that night.
I apologized for the situation.
He told me I had nothing to apologize about and that he always enjoys hearing from me.

The next morning I was full on fever sick so I stayed home from work.
He texted me first thing apologizing for not being able to meet me for a drink the night before and said "I really wanted to come" before asking how my night was.
He joked about bringing me a hot chocolate.
When I asked where it was he said he left it with my concierge and to yell at him if it wasn't there because it meant the concierge had drank it.

And we've been texting back and forth over the weekend.
But I need to stop.
Because really nothing has changed.