**If you are looking for MyExBoyfriendProject it is the Right side.** Those who know me know my love for things pop culture and reality tv. I love a good heroine and girl who comes out on top...because I want to. Once a girl named Lauren chose a boy over an intership in Paris. I have made similar misguided mistakes...but Lauren made it to Paris (a year later). I hope to make it to my Paris (both literally and not). Here are my struggles, wants, wishes, hopes and fears as I make it there.
So on Tuesday night I got this follow up email... Oh and I'll include my thoughts/responses as I read this...
Apr 30 (1 day ago)
Don’t worry, this is the last you will hear from me, but before I say goodbye I have some final words for you.
(Gosh I kind of hope so because this is becoming simply ridiculous).
In receiving my package back the other day, I am left feeling disappointed, hurt, and confused. I delivered that package over a month and a half ago and received it back from you a few days ago. Why after 4 months of saying nothing did you decide to mail back my letter and gift without any words from you? If you’ve chosen to be silent for so long, why even bother sending the package back?
(Ummm well to be honest it sat in my front hall closet...and by the time I got around the post office it had sat there for about 2.5 weeks...because really who goes to a post office AND because I couldn't just mark RETURN TO SENDER because you had delivered it to my condo you PSYCHO!) We haven't spoken since January! (here) So why 2.5 months later would you MAIL me a package (here) after sending me flowers (here)
In my several attempts to communicate with you over the past few months, I have finally come to realize my efforts are futile. It saddens me that you can be so ruthless and not even give me the courtesy of an explanation as to why you wanted to end things between us. Ummm not sure how I"m ruthless (then I goggled ruthless just to check and according to Merriam-Webster ": having no pity :merciless, cruel<a ruthless tyrant>" And ummm hello we met up TWICE in person to discuss why it wasn't working and ONCE after that we had a phone discussion where I explained why it wasn't working but apparently this was not giving him the courtesy of an explanation...
I feel foolish for opening up and sharing my thoughts and feelings with you this whole time, all the while being ignored like I never meant anything to you. I feel foolish for even sending this email, but realize that this is who I am and what I need to do, and that is to let you know how I feel. That is and was the difference between you and I all along. I opened up, you never did. It’s funny how in the end the one who opens up gets the short end of the stick, looks the fool, and gets hurt.
You are not the person I believed you to be. You have no compassion for other’s feelings. This line really irks me because I don't believe that I'm not compassionate. I have been nothing but a good, decent man who respected you and cared deeply for you. Ummm I beg to differ ie. leaving me stranded at an airport at 1:30am when you said you were to pick me up....thats not really respectful nor caring. I never deserved the way you cut me off like that. But, maybe I should have expected it as you made me aware of your past relationships and how they too were cut off abruptly. He didn't really know a lot about my past...he is reaching here. It’s obvious you have issues with trust and opening up, and in the end this is your demise. Wow that a jerky comment... really my demise?! WTF. I just never thought you would have done the same thing to me. Yet another foolish thought of mine.
I wish you the best of luck and happiness in life. I hope you find what you’re looking for. But just know that you have thrown away something very special. I am not perfect and never claimed to be when we dated. I made mistakes and bad judgement calls and admitted to them. However, despite my faults, I know I am a man with a big heart and a lot of love to give, none of which you deserve after the way you cut me off. I'm kind of glad you think I don't "deserve you".