Weekend Update

Okay let's get down to what this weekend was.
How quickly did it fly by?
For me super fast.

So Friday...after a nutso work week I met up with Eva for a hot yoga class.
It was awesome and my knee didn't bother me one bit!
We may take up this studio on their offer for the a month at $40.

The instructor was Asian and was most of the ladies in the class.
And her son is living in Singapore.
So we had a fun quick chat before hand.
Her accent certainly took me back to my yoga instructors in Singapore.
Which did not help with my current tactic at deciding on the job offer in Singapore (ie. try NOT to think about it).

After that I came home a good sweaty mess.
I wanted to jump on eHarmony but I refrained because after all what kind of cool person would I be sitting at home on a Friday night.
So I was just sort of lazying around avoiding the web when this message came in...

Just want you to know I love you and will be ready soon and wanted to know if you still will be.

I tried to ignore it.

I am much better and its not complicated anymore.  I want us Teagan, just wanted to make sure you will still be there I love you.

I still tried to ignore it.

I wanted to completely process it so I can be 100% present and emotionally available to you and us.  Do you still want us?  I love you, I think we would work and be great together.

So I cracked and messaged him back.
I told him I would see him and see what was there because to be honest I don't know what will be.
I haven't seen him in more than two years.
And I'm trying to move forward with my life.
But I don't know if I"m strong enough to cut him out completely.
Is there a possiblity of us...I'm not sure.
There are things about him that I don't think will change that are important to me.
So the best I can do is see with him.
I'm not sure how much I'm actually depending on it because let's face it he's been kind of a flake.

And I'm intrigued by people I'm seeing on the web.
I find myself laughing out loud to some of the communication (in a great way).
So I think I will see what also comes of that.
And maybe Jacob's time has come and gone.

Saturday
I woke up and drank a nice hot coffee while finishing the book One Day.

And I hated it.
I won't spoil it for anyone but I disliked.
Cool concept...didn't like what happened with it.
Super annoyed...but might still be curious enough to watch the movie.
Here's the trailer.

So then I met up with Val for lunch at Yorkdale mall.
And we headed over to Michaels to meet Duff!
And I got him to sign my copy of his book Ace of Cakes.

He was really fun and chatty.
He told us he wrote his portion of the book in one afternoon.
He took his laptop and rode his Vespa to the beach.
He said he has ADD and he wouldn't be able to keep at it so he solved that problem by just hammering it out.
It was my first celebrity encounter (I think) and it was pretty fun.

After Val and I headed back to scope out the brand new first Canadian J Crew and Top Shop that just opened.
Both fun and both gorgeous.
I wanted to buy a zillion things in J Crew.
And I loved how their window had We Heart Maple Leaf neon lights.

This was opening weekend (glad we didn't have to wait in line!

The inside was beautifully set up.
One of the nicer J Crew's if I do say so myself.

I stumbled across this opening invitation which I thought was cute and perfectly geared to Canadians.

I didn't realize it had been open this long but I don't always get out to Yorkdale.
Both of us were very impressed with JCrew and both lamented our current thin wallet status and the lack of JCrew buying power we had.
Well we can always save up we decided.

With that we headed over to TopShop which I like decidingly more after living in Singapore and reading up on my fav magazine UK Glamour.
Very impressed with the store and found the clothes trendy, well made and more reasonable then J Crew.
Check out these pics.

How cool would it be to use this section??

One day I will totally splurge on a personal shopper.

Maybe they can help me figure out my curvy body shape.

The rest of the day I did laundry and avoided eHarmony (becuase again I didn't want to portray a girl at home on a Saturday night haha).

Sunday
I woke up this morning and decided it was time to attempt to run again.
So I resorted to the very beginning of the C25K program I started ages ago.
With my fingers crossed to not repeat the knee issue I had in the summer.
So far so good which makes me super excited to continue.

I then headed to the grocery store and prepared stuff for the week.
And I decided that a Sunday afternoon was a perfectly acceptable time to be active on the EH website.
So I did and I really enjoy it.
It's fun to flirt and see what's out there.

I am about to head out for another yoga class with Eva.
It has been a pretty good low key weekend if I do say so myself.
How was yours???



Pics from here, here, here and here.

Just another dinner at Eva's

So officially the Couch to 5K program is on hold.
I tore my medial meniscus in my knee and mandatory minimum 6 weeks off.
Boooooo!

It's not like I'm also going to get any thinner either....
Because Eva makes ridiculously good dinner's.
Like on this random Tuesday.

We had this as an appetizer.
Basically baked zuccini, eggplant, tomato and feta cheese to put on bread.

Then a Caprese salad...with boccini, tomato, fresh basil and balsalmic.

The TWO mains...
A Persian dish which had rice, green beans and turkey.

And Mousaka.

Seriously I'm going to be huge eating like this haha.
But it sure tastes delish. 

Dwell Dwell Dwell fattyfattyboombatty

Okay I hope this is my last dwell.
I am for some reason SUPREMELY bothered by MM and his "abrupt disapperence".
(see previous post)
I don't get it.

How do you go from asking for someone to move in with you (albeit only for 6 weeks...and this totally had me FREAKED out...and that is why I declined in the nicest way possible 4 times!  Well and I was way more comfortable moving in with Eva and her husband...but really that is really here nor there).
How do you go from that...to straight up ignoring ...to a gmail chat rejection?!?!?!
I am so annoyed.

I am so annoyed because I don't understand people.
Maybe I do wear my heart on my sleeve.
But in general I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
And I hold probably too fiercely to it.

I have since I was little.
Call it fear of abadonement etc.
But I remember being 6 and asking my dad repeatadly if he said something...if he PROMISED something.
And I would hold him to it because I remembered everytime.

I understand people are entitled to change and grow but seriously have some compassion for me (someone who doesn't flip flop or change their mind about many things).
It has just seemed to happen a lot for me...abadonment.
And really the common denominator...me.
It is so darn frustrating.

I am so perturbed.
And you know what...running does not help.
I just started running again.

I was keeping it a secret in case I failed at that too...grrr.
It has been a long time since I've run.
Main motivation...

Watching Eva's wedding video and I think I look massive.
I don't think I've ever been this big.
I know what it is lack of activity and being a big stressball.

I hate the way I looked there and in pictures lately I find myself trying to find the right angle and sucking in with all my might.
My own issues.
But I also do bad mentally without exercise.

It all adds up to one big negative experience.
So run I must.
I thought I needed a new strategy.
Because I detest running.
It is not fun and maybe it is because I find it hard.
And really do you want to know when something is fun?
When you are good at it.

So I'm going to try and become good at running because it has always been a struggle for me.
So I did some searching and have read on other people's blogs about the Couch to 5K.
I started and today was Week 2 Day 2.
Verdict?


Pick from here

 Running still blows.
I hate every pounding minute of it.
I did make it easier by downloading an App onto the iPhone
(can we say obsessed much with Apps?)
Anywho...this app traces your route on a map and times you, and tells you when to run/walk (it is an interval program) etc.
Here are screen shots from this website.
To show you what it does.

For the record...I have yet to select the Smiley face when I run.
Today was hard because it is cold and rainy.
And when I read what other people run...I want to hang my head in shame.
I think I must be the slowest runner in the entire world.
I won't tell you my run pace or walk pace or distance but think of a number in your head and add like 5 minutes and subtract like 2 miles...so annoying.

And I also thought running cleared your head!
Ummm...heck no.
I have an endless stream of thoughts. 

like...ughhh it's rainy...why did I start the run parts on this uphill?  My feet hurt...at least I'm not as sweaty today as Monday...Okay this 90 seconds of running is okay and not as bad as I thought (being bumped up from 60 seconds)...I'm a total beginner...I wonder what you are supposed to do with your hands...I feel like I run sort of like Phoebe from friends...okay park time ...avoid all the goose poop...almost...turn onto another street and gosh the 60 seconds of walking is over again?!...maybe I should look at the ground less ...look ahead...is that...no...it can't be...oh my gosh that is total MM's car...yup it sure is...what is he doing in this neighbourhood he lives downtown...hmmm his parents do live in this general area...oh gosh he is backing out of that driveway...turn around turn around fast...increase running speed...oh my gosh...seriously?!  don't turn around and look over your shoulder ...don't turn around...dart down this street...what the heck???...thank goodness I'm supposed to walk again...I am always so happy when the dude says...walk...or workout complete...that was a close one...especially looking like this...not so awesome...I can't wait to get home...

So you can clearly see there is nothing about running that clears my head.
And how do I know that it is MM's car you may be thinking?
Without giving away what it is...
I have only ever seen this car twice.
His is gray and the only one I have seen ever in my life was blue...in Texas.
It is very distinct and instantly recognizable.
So much so that once we were out for dinner in Toronto and his friends played a joke on him and called him and told him his car was being towed...so he bolted out of the restaurant to check and they were all having a good laugh about it...because they had randomly walked by a street in Toronto (Canada's New York) and recognized it (by model because he has no like bumper stickers etc that would make it recognizable).
He was probably picking up his date.
I kind of have the feeling he is used to dating a lot.

I feel like a total lame nerdy person.
I want to be social again and go on a million dates.
And be this flirty vivacious person.
I have some friends that are SO SOOOO good at this.

I've never quite gotten it down.
MM was the first person I "dated" after Spencer.
Not the first person I kissed though...hello chef hottie...haha
Eva joked that her bachelorette and wedding were good times for me.
At the time...totally.

So anywho here are the things that I want to do in the next couple of weeks.
1. go on lots of dates (just have to figure out exactly how someone goes about getting dates).
2. make more girlfriends (I love my girls that are here but I think I need some of the single variety...and I need a much busier social calendar to be happy).
3. kick butt at work (I'm not at all right now).
4. stop thinking fattyfattyboombatty when I look in the mirror.
5. find a 5 K to run after this tortuous couch to 5 K program so that I do fully commit to it.

In the words of Drake...
I'm more than just an option...hey hey hey...refuse to be forgotten...hey hey hey
Don't know it...highly recommend it...the video is a little "rough" for my liking but its a way to hear the song which I love...

So moving running on...