Did you notice the new ticker at the top.
That's right I booked my trip to see Taylor in Dallas!
Can not wait to see meet her baby for the first time!
And keeping up the tradition of seeing each other since I (now regrettably) moved away from Dallas.
2008 was an epic Vegas trip
2009 was the Lake Tahoe trip
2010 was Singapore and Thailand
2011 was Toronto
2012 was twice as nice because we did both Toronto and Dallas.
And now in 2013 Dallas here I come.
When we turn 40 I think I'm going to have to try and convince her to do something major like Paris together lol
The countdown is on!
I got home just about a half hour ago.
From a summer day with no plans to getting day drunk.
So I got up this morning and it was rainy and dreary.
I headed to Mississauga (a suburb just west of Toronto) to help out one of the girls.
I sat on a food panel for her sampling 21 veggie burgers and rating them.
She works in a food lab for a major grocery chain here.
After that MrAttorney suggested I come hang out for a bit.
I went past his new condo and we decided to head to this patio for a drink and some snacks.
His cousin is visiting/living with him after just having completed his MBA in the UK.
And then the sun came out and it was perfect patio weather.
And before I knew it one pitcher of sangria turned into two pitchers of sangria.
And just like that I was day drunk.
MrAttorney's cousin suggested we make sandwiches so then there we were in the grocery store trying to figure out the bread slicer machine.
And after a sandwich we all decided to have naps.
Well there was a little less sleeping in MrAttorney's room.
And yes we had more of a conversation as well.
He doesn't understand why he can't have more time.
He said he moves slow.
He wants something between seeing each other and official.
He says we are still getting to know each other.
He said he loves spending time with me and misses me when we aren't together but just isn't ready.
And I just don't know what to do with that.
So I just get day drunk and try to block out that he will probably break my heart.
And yes for the record I'm probably being a little dramatic.
oh hey,
so ummm yeah where have I been?
Between crushing hard on MrAttorney falling if you will.
And caught up in the wedding plans of Laurel (her wedding is in two weeks).
And chilling with the girls.
I've simply been busy doing instead of writing.
But to return back to the vent.
This week I wanted to make things official with MrAttorney.
So I pretty much said, 'hey I don't want to be "seeing you" or "dating you" I want to be your girlfriend".
Only...
He's not ready...
He says he really likes me.
And he's not saying he doesn't see it going there.
BUT (even though he says there is no but) he isn't quite ready.
Now it's not that he's seeing other people.
Sometimes we spent 12 nights in a row together alternating between places.
But clearly this is bad.
I find myself hurt and embarrassed for putting it out there.
And it's so weird because we talk via email all day long and I literally cannot spend enough time with this guy.
Some people wouldn't even push the issue.
He's kind and sweet to me and a fantastic kisser.
But clearly there is an issue.
And I'm bummed.
And so yeah...
nothing terribly exciting to announce anyway.
I woke up this morning and my first thought was MrAttorney.
This is definitely trouble.
He is away again.
On a work retreat out of the country.
And I miss him.
And I miss sleeping with him.
I miss laughing with him...oh its been so long since I've just giggled and laughed so much.
And the kissing...oh my the kissing!
The last couple of weeks we've been alternating sleeping at each other's places.
Mostly because we would rather be together than apart.
Even though we don't come out and say it.
But it's not what I'm worried about.
You see on Thursday morning when he was getting ready to leave.
And both of us were bustling around in the morning.
And I took a chance and leaned in kissing him and whispering in his ear..."you know I'd like to be more than bed buddies...just saying"
(Side note; we've been joking around that we are bed buddies...I think both of us sort of testing the waters...seeing what the other thinks etc...so I took the leap well I at least sort of put it out there).
And he said, "oh yeah?" and all I heard was a possible rejection.
Since then we haven't had a chance to get together because he is away.
And I'm a little nervous in having thrown that out there.
Oh yeah and there's just this one other thing...he's never been in love...ever.
And what stinks is I'm merely one thousand two hundred and ninety six hours in and I'm falling for him.
It came from that night where nothing should have worked out...and maybe it won't.
I wish I knew how to slow down my heart...
