Fashion Week in the TDotO

Y'all I'm slowly starting to get back into the blog groove...
Two nights this week I spent at Toronto's very own fashion week.
So here it is via my terrible iPhone pics.

So excited to walk up to the tent in David Pecault Square.
Even on a rainy night.

Val and I in front of the step&repeat...at least I think that's what it is called.

 Inside of the tent was really quite cool.
Probably the best part was the people watching and the amazing fashion.
I was so overwhelmed I barely got any pictures!

 DJ and cool light fixtures at the entrance to the runway.

 Media lounge sponsored by Canada's newest American addition...TARGET!
So excited when we spotted this.

When Val and I got to our chairs this was waiting which made it fun and exciting.
The show we were attending was Mercedes-Benz StartUp which is a contest for Canadian young designers...very much seemed exactly like Project Runway.
8 young designers...one winner that would get to show next year and get mentors.
So exactly like Project Runway minus the cashola!

I really couldn't get great pictures because of the bright lights...

at the end of the runway...(look at all the photogs!)

 Wednesday night my mum and grandma came into town to share in the fun.
Notice the new coat!

 Laurel came too so that was a great buffer.

We went to the Joe Fresh show.
It was amazing.  Though a TON more chaotic than the night before.
My mum made it clear while she enjoyed it she wouldn't be repeating.
Oh well I tried anyway.

So it was ALMOST a bucket list item crossed off.
Because I am way more specific...on that bucket list?
Fall Fashion Week in NYC and Spring Fashion Week in Paris.
A girl can dream can't she?

Mother's Day

Just a quick post on how Mother's Day went down this year.
I tore myself away from MrKent after an amazing date.
And drove to my hometown.

The hometown I tend to avoid at all costs.
The hometown that I haven't been in since Christmas (yes really).
I just feel uncomfortable there...as I've mentioned only like a zillion times on this blog.


Anywho I sucked it up after all it was Mother's Day.
It's funny how some things never change and remain the same.
Which is weird because I feel like I've been through a WHOLE lot of change personally.


I still picked up a Mother's Day gift for my mum.
My brother signed the card.
And asked if he could go in on it on Mother's Day...rightttttttttttttttttttttt.


My brother was all excited to show off his new 12K Rolex.
Which makes me a petulant child because all I want to do is be able to move downtown.
(I can't afford it)...and I'm jealous that everything seems to come so easy for him.


Family lunch where everyone drinks their face off (except me).
And everyone discusses all the out of North America travel places they will got the remainder of 2012 (except me...I do have to say at least I have Dallas over Labor Day to look forward to!)
It just sometimes feels very out of body type experience around the fam.


I packed up my car and came back "home" currently the TDot.
I may have been thinking of places I would like to travel to or move.
And it just led me to daydream.
Some exciting things I did come back with...more things from my grandfather that I will highlight in another post.


This post sort of feels like Mother's Day...awkward.
But just for fun.
I thought I would leave you with this pic that I found at my parents place.
One of the pics that my grandpa had left with his other things.


I've never seen this photo before this weekend.
I guess there is a little bit of my mom in me.
As evidence in this photo.
Plus I seriously rocked leggings and a mini even back then.

(This is where I would have put a screencapture pic
of when Carrie accidentally finds the box of her Wedding Dress
in the first Sex and the City Movie but I can't find it.)

And I'm just so frustrated and upset right now.
After spending 2 hours on Tuesday helping my mum on the computer.
She called yesterday night to have me switch things with a Kijiji ad (which is like Craigslist).

She literally wanted to READ me line by line on what to change.
Then she had me call them for a different ad she had tried to do and didn't seem to post...
so I spent another 2 hours last night doing those things.
So last night I told her it would be faster and easier if she just did them on her computer herself.
I do admit I was trying to get out of doing it.
I'm just annoyed that my parents can run companies but claim they can't email or post an ad on craigslist.
I feel like telling them ...look I never took a class on how to "learn how to use email" or "how to use craigslist" I just TRIED and it is self explanatory and therefore you teach yourself.
I never had a magical ability to understand computer things...I feel like I'm really not very technologically savvy myself.   

Anyway.. today she called me at work to b*tch me out tell me
I should just do the 4 other Kijiji ads (she needs done) based on what she can tell me over the phone.
And that I was being a brat for not being excited or wanting to do these things because they do so much for me (true but with chains attached *which is way stronger than strings in case you are wondering). 
AND she then dropped the bomb.
After all she " had to pick up YOUR useless wedding dress yesterday"
I don't know if it was the wedding dress or the useless part that hurt more.
I just know I'm blinking back tears that are poking my eyes like hot pokers right now.

Mother's Day Musings

It's Mother's Day here (I do recognize some countries celebrate on different days etc).
I won't see my mum today.
Not because I'm an evil daughter and am refusing to celebrate it.

We've had our ups and downs...and in general I crumble.
I even substituted for her and her spa yesterday so she could go away for the weekend to Niagara Falls with my Dad (hence not seeing my mum on Mother's Day).
Despite all the craziness that has been happening lately, I sucked it up.
And I will try to ignore that everytime I work there she takes without even asking I give her 100% of my paycheck.

My only living grandparent (my Grandma) is in Portugal on vacation.
So this Mother's Day I will spend cleaning and organizing (Yes I'm STILL working on all that that I think I first wrote about here).
I was STUMPED for Mother's Day after all I had a hard enough time with her birthday gift (read about that here).
So I just made reservations at a restaurant downtown that I think is AMAZING for Monday night.
I hope she likes it...though I know not to hold my breathe.

Happy Mother's Day out there to everyone.

PS On a side note...every day gets a little easier without Spencer though I would like it to be resolved as soon as possible (haven't heard from him at all even though he was supposed to file on May 1st)...this morning thinking of Mother's Day I got a little pit in my stomach.  Only last year,  Spencer (of his own volition) called my mum to wish her a happy mother's day...I didn't even THINK of doing this for his mum (I know bad new daughter-in-law)  my excuse was I was 2 days away from moving back to North America from Asia and I was freaking out a little stressed.  This makes me feel sick...how much everything has changed in just one year...but I guess it should give me hope for how different perhaps 1 year from now can  will be.



Pics from here

Out of a Mother's Mouth...

So in weird mum news today...

My mum called me at work...yea I think it's her favourite because I can't "not" answer the phone seeing as I'm the main receptionist for trafficing phone calls.
She called to see if we were going to Mommy and Me Yoga tonight.
I haven't gone at all this week because I'm pretty sure I have strep... or mono (THAT would be totally worth it though...I will take a moment to pause and think of my makeout session with the chef...okay moving on)...

Then she lets me know that ANOTHER relative just bought a house in Florida.
I didn't even know they were looking for houses in Florida.
These are the parents of the girl who is getting married next month in the same wedding venue as we were going to use...the girl who's bridal shower I went to (read here) and her bachelorette party is this weekend (which I feel like I have to go to because her wedding is the same day as Eva's and I can't go...and I'm secretly really happy because I would suffer through a wedding with the same venue AND ballroom as I had joyously picked out with Spencer).

And then my mum told me that yet ANOTHER relative put in an offer on a place this morning in ...you guessed it Florida.
I just replied "that's nice".
I mean really...wtf am I supposed to say.
I LOVE how you keep rubbing it in my face.
I love thinking about my "almost" life in Florida...it's awesome (desparately need a sarcasm font).

Then she says that my dog is acting all wierd.
They have been looking after him since I left him there while I was away at Eva's Bachelorette party until Monday night.
I have purposely left him there because I have felt really sick these last two nights.
First I thought it was just that I can't handle a drinking/unhealthy eating weekend but now I think I got strep from Eva (who had a horrible infection this weekend).

My parent love my dog and sometimes it is me trying to be nice that I leave him there.
So my mum tells me how she made my dog an omelet for breakfast this morning (I swear!)
My dad told me this morning that last night they went for a long walk and my dog loved it.
So my dog is getting totally spoiled and I know they love having him there.

Here is the weird start of the story...
My mum tells me that there is something funny going on because my dog won't let my dad sleep on the couch (which is typical for him after a long day at work).
When this happens my dog starts to cry and whine at my dad until he wakes up.
If my mum or grandma falls asleep he doesn't do it.

Here comes the creepo story...
THEN my mum launches into a story of previously undisclosed information.
The day my uncle passed away (in 2009) I was living in Singapore and my parent had my dog with them (I didn't want to put him through quarantine in Singapore).
That whole day my dog would just sit at my dad's feet and cry.
My dad would pick him up and he would just burrow into him and as soon as he would put him down he would cry and whine.  This went on for 10 hours+!!!
SOOOO the conclusion is my mum thinks there is something "wrong" with my dad and my dog knows something about this...basically insinuating something may "happen" to my dad.
Which freaks me out totally.

You see because my mum is "always right".
She usually tells me after the fact.
She tried to "warn me" because Spencer was close to his family and I was apparently a "nothing" to him (before we broke up she tried to tell me that I should be careful and walk on eggshells because if I was my normal self his family wouldn't like me and therefore he would leave me...and he did ultimately in the end...so she is "right").

Now there are some pretty spooky and odd instances where she has "called things".
And there is a story amongst my family that my mum went to the best psychic ever who told her all about my life but my mum refuses to tell me anything about it becuase apparently the psychic has been 100% correct...in guessing about both Jacob and another Ex. (which is what she DID tell me), and my work path and everything about me pretty much.
She has told other people the things that have already occured and it freaks THEM out and it is isn't even about THEM!
This freaks me out.

I do recognize it is also easier to call out negative consequences
if you just take a negative pessismistic view of EVERYthing.
So I'm kind of freaked...I hope there is nothing wrong with my dad.
I hope my dog doesn't have some kind of weird clairvoyant negative news reception going on.
And if I hear about Florida one more time today I'm going to scream!

Something feels "off" today maybe it is the weird weather rainy cold weather.
Maybe its because I feel like I'm sick with strep...or mono haha.
Hmmm I know I didn't work on Monday...but I'm kind of considering being sick tomorrow and not coming into work which would make a Royal Wedding Party by myself extra fun.
Hmmm maybe I could prolong it into skipping the Bachelorette party this weekend.
What a weird creepy day...

Biting the Apple

So my mum just called me at work.
She said that I needed to get my hair highlighted...I guess she isn't digging the ombre hair colour (I talked about the original conversation in this post here).
I simply said, "well I can't afford it right now"

She sighed deeply (and obviously) and then said
"well I will use a spa gift certificate for you".
I said "I still can't afford it".
She said, "it won't cost you anything"
And the voice in my head said...except your soul...(haha totally kidding).

So I bit...
I made an appointment for beginning of May.
Because I'm a shallow girl and I need to get my hair highlighted.

Thought it might just cost me a lot ...



Pic is the Evil Queen from Enchanted (surprize surprize one of my fav movies).

Can I say I don't need highlights if I call my hair colour Ombre?

Sarah Jessica Parker has been rocking this look for years (I distinctly remember during certain episodes of Sex and the City thinking that she needs her roots touched up).

This is the newer updated roots-grown style called Ombre.

Don't know if you know but this is a current "trend" of hair colour.
Basically it looks like you have really long roots.
Check out my girl Leighton for the subtle idea.

So my question seeing as my roots are currently questionable...is can I just call it Ombre?
Okay I'm really trying to make light of a situation...that is hair-raising for sure (bad pun I know).  So in case you missed it my mum owns a spa.

When I was in high school this was fabulous I could get manicures and pedicures monthly.
Prom hair etc was all included.
When I had my engagment photos I got my hair and nails all done up.
This has saved my tons of money.

So one would think that being here I would be getting spa'ed up on a regular basis.
I'm no celebrity like Nicole Ritchie...

I always felt kind of guilty so I reserve my hair colouring, manicures etc for special occasions only.
Like when Taylor came to Canada for a visit (read here if you missed it).
So since my roots are very ombre looking...kind of like Hiliary Duff except less pronounced currently.

So I called my mum this morning to make an appointment (for my roots at the beginning of May) and to get it "blown out" think more Jessica Beal-esque for Eva's wedding in May.

So my mum gives me a time...("okay May 5th at 6pm")
and THEN says..."and it will be $185"...I almost spit out my Green Tea.
I reply, "ummm really?"
She says "well it isn't free"
I reply "then cancel it"
She says "you expect me to pay for your hair" (I honestly thought it only cost her pretty much the "labour and materials" which is a company cost, and I have never in the 15 years that the spa has been open ever paid).
I say, "nope don't worry about it"
My mum "well what are you going to do about your roots"
I say, "I will go to the drug store buy box dye and go back to my normal dark colour because I simply can't afford it right now."
She says "fine suit yourself."

I know I probably shouldn't complain but seriously?!  wtf
Where did this come from???
I pay my parents 20% of my measly income because I "owe them"
(which I do but that is a whole other ball of wax).
I am completely irked that I feel like she really wants to charge me NOW and at retail for my hair?
Seriously when I had to skrimp and save to buy her her birthday gift.
I'm super irritated.

So for now my roots are going to grow out...and I will just call it Ombre like Rachel Bilson.

I'm totally fuming...



Pics from: http://www.hair.becomegorgeous.com/celebrity_hair/celebrity_ombre_hair_color_trend-4172.html

The Yoga Diaries~Day Four and Day Five

I wish I looked this great doing yoga...but I'm a hot sweaty mess and my hair is definitely up!

~Day Four~
You can read here...I didn't go I think I had a good reason (family time).

~Day Five~ aka Mommy and Me Yoga aka The Most Stressful Yoga EVER
So it was a pretty busy Monday at work and then I had to rush home, change, take out the pup and go pick my mum up to drive to Yoga.
Okay I pick her up and the entire time we drove to Yoga (about 20-25 minutes).
Here is the conversation (noticibly one sided as per usual).
"I bought two dresses in Florida (she was there last week) for the wedding in May" (the bridal shower I went to that I talked about in this post).
"So I have one to wear to the church and one to wear in the evening" (nice but not necessary)
"So many great weddings coming up" (that kind of felt like a dig)
"Bella has been dating her boyfriend for awhile I bet she gets engaged soon" (I don't think so because she actually wants to break up with him but I keep my mouth shut).
"And your other cousin basically lives with her boyfriend now and he moved to our city just to be with her...he must really love her... and her mom was talking about how she will have two weddings to pay for in the near future (her and her sister)"
"All of your cousins found really good guys to be with who actually do a lot for them and then it's worth it to pay for a fun wedding things" (ummm okay seriously did she really say it would be worth it... do we HAVE to talk about this??? and for the record I've paid for EVERYTHING that was lost in the wedding deposits as my parents are pretty pissed when they found out I was pseudo-married...then the kicker)
"Everyone is SO happy and planning weddings and really starting their lives" (ouch).

I felt like crying.  I'm still pretty heartbroken over Spencer.  For the record I'm NOT happy with how my life unfolded these last couple of months.  I was planning a wedding/pseudo-married and everytime I hear about someone elses plans I immediately think of what our plans were.  I literally had everything planned...everything.  (By the way this will make way more sense when I finish the Spencer chapters in MyExboyfriendProject). 
I struggle every day with the fact that I am alone and will likely be alone forever.
I feel like my friends having amazing fiance's and husband's and it's just "not in the cards" for me.
It's not that I don't want them to have this.  I am genuinely happy for them. 
I am absolutely sad at the future of being alone for the rest of my life.
I can do it though. 
It's not like I can't survive and support myself but I didn't want that. 
I didn't want a future alone.  However, it seems like the inevitable future. 

So I'm thinking all these things as my mum goes on and on and on about everyone and their new engagements and weddings.  Does she not understand that this just is crushing me?  I do see how every single person around me is happy and in love and seemingly with men who would go to the end of the world for them and I just seem to really mess up relationships.  Like not just sad or bad breakup but like have to relocate countries/lose a substancial amount of money/hire lawyers...etc.  I am failing at life in the love department.  So this conversation just seemed to go on and on.

Thank goodness it was pouring and I was able to drop off my mum at the entrance so I could park down the street and just try to collect myself.
I just rested my head against the steering wheel took a deep breath and tried not to cry.
I bit my bottom lip and thought to myself...it's okay just get through this class.
And as I walked up to the Yoga studio I was giving myself a pep talk...Reese Witherspoon just got married (for the second time) and lots of people find love after their first marriage. 
I have to have hope...life seems sort of useless without love in it. 
And I get that there is love of your friends blah blah blah but I think people are happier when they have a partner (I don't care if this is an ignorant statement).
So my  head was SWIRLING with thoughts walking into yoga.

It was new instructor.
So I tried to set an intention for yoga.

I thought...its okay to not do this for me...its okay to do this for my friends who I want to set good intentions for.  I can focus for them and sending them positive thoughts. 

I'm not even going to think about myself because honestly I think that my life is too sad when I think about it.  So my intention for yoga was send positive thoughts out to my girls and my breathing and movements would be for them.

I know it's that weird yoga/meditation/talk but I had to try something or else I just would find myself cyclically going over and over all the bad of the last year. 

We began class.
The instructor was awful.
By the halfway point of class 80% of the class wasn't doing the flows because they were disjointed and it seemed like she was pushing just for the sake of pushing or making it a "hard" class.
I found myself getting frustrated at not being able to keep up.
I kept up okay in Eva's 90 minute class and this was a regular (ie. not advanced) 60 minute class.
Then I looked around and realized that only 3 out of 30 people weren't just resting and lying down.
Then people started to leave the class.
That is how bad it was.
After about 5 people left the instructor started saying "this is when you dig deep and complete your practice...it's also too shocking on your body to go from hot to cold so just rest in child's pose and bring your heart rate down and rejoin us when you can."
It got to the point that literally there was 1 person able to do the flows and postures etc.
I definitely will not go back to her class again because I felt like she was doing it for herself (though again the class was so full that she just instructed and walked around and made corrections) and she did not pay attention to or read the class.
My mum also thought that the class was awful and preferred our first instructor.
So after we went past my cousin Bella's house because it was close by.

On the way there she asked where I was yesterday.
I told her at Bella's for a jewellry party which really got her going...
"You can't afford to buy jewellry right now"
Me: "I know which is why I didn't buy anything"
"Well that is rude of you" (wtf)
"I don't think so I explained before I went that I couldn't afford to purchase those things which is why I went over early and stayed late to help her set up and clean up" (go me!)
"Was the jewellry nice or was it just junk jewellry?"
"I thought it was nice"...(ughh seriously could it be any more negative...does she even realize how things sound when they come out of her mouth?)

My mum hasn't been there in awhile.
So she hadn't seen Bella's dog in awhile.
As soon as she saw her she went on and on and on about how overweight the dog was.
Too the point where it was embarrasing.
She asked my aunt and my cousin "What are you doing to the dog?  She is so so fat!! Shame!"
I guess it really bothered her that the dog appeared overweight.
Then she told my aunt she should try hot yoga (so maybe that is a postive sign that she likes it?)  We spent about an hour there.  Then it was time to head home so we left.  I  dropped my mum off first and then headed home myself.

These few weeks of yoga are proving to be a challenge...maybe I just need some legwarmers...

Pics from: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://elsieyogakula.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/downward-facing-dog.jpg&imgrefurl=http://elsieyogakula.wordpress.com/category/yoga-podcast-episodes/episodes-41-50/&usg=__D8F_zD7_TGqOnVi1MY8uCIzwP5Y=&h=435&w=622&sz=319&hl=en&start=23&sig2=MJJO3HxnUeQXXODugaW-QQ&zoom=1&tbnid=HY3RS9WJvW2lIM:&tbnh=141&tbnw=174&ei=0DKbTe33Dc2ugQeP4JCeBw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dhot%2Byoga%2Bdownward%2Bdog%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D795%26gbv%3D2%26tbm%3Disch0%2C596&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=821&vpy=496&dur=2968&hovh=188&hovw=269&tx=182&ty=121&oei=vTKbTcfDIcmjtgeS_-jCBw&page=2&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:16,s:23&biw=1276&bih=795, http://www.yogadork.com/news/kim-kardashian-bares-her-yoga-for-the-camera/,

Weekend Update

I had a surprizingly busy weekend.

Friday
Normal kind of work day and then I made it to Yoga (read here) which was much better than Thursday's experience (read here).
I rushed home after yoga to shower and my cousin Bella and her friend came over to hang out, eat some food and watch a movie.

In true Bella form she showed up an hour late (I think I'm just a perpetually on time (which means 10 minutes early) person.  So sometimes I need to relax and realize that not everyone is like this).
She brought over something called WokBox which is a new Asian takeout place in town.
I'm probably hugely biased from living in Asian but I wasn't crazy about it.
It wasn't exactly cheap either but it was nice that Bella's friend treated us.

So then we opened a bottle of wine and decided to watch Black Swan which I've been anxiously awaiting its release.  Here's the trailer...

And it breaks my heart ot say this but I hated it.

****Warning: Movie Spoilers below.****
I thought it was an awful movie.  It was way way WAY too gratuitous I thought.
When I heard there was a lesbian scene I thought it would be some kissing etc...no it was a full on oral sex scene with an over the shoulder shot looking down.  How was this movie PG-13??? 
Then there was the weirdo mom who was in the room when Natalie Portman is Brooke-ing herself (haha One Tree Hill reference).
The random Winona Ryder stabbing herself in the face with a metal nail file was weird.
The use of MDMA (which from my understanding is a chemical pure form of Ecstasy) just added to all the hallucinagenic times in the movie.
The dancing was good (I just wish there was way more of this).
Overall I was super duper disappointed.  I'm kind of surprised it won all those awards.
I usually love love love Natalie Portman movies (besides Star Wars which I never really cared for the new ones).  But the whole movie she was either crying or on the verge of crying which just got annoying.
Out of everyone I thought Mila Kunis was pretty good.
I don't know it was just a weird weird movie.  So not my fav at all and I think it should have a significantly increased rating (I don't know think this is cool for a 13 year old).
To sum it up she is pretty much a schizophrenic ballerina who hallucinates a lot in discovering her role in Swan Lake (which coincidently is a ballet and cartoon movie I love...see below!!! Do you remember it?).

We were baffled at the whole movie and disappointed.  I had been really excited to see it.  I would have rather found a copy of the 1981 cartoon and watched that.  But before we knew it it was 1am and we were all super tired...they headed home and I headed straight to bed.

Saturday
I woke up fairly early and spun yea!
Then it was spring cleaning time.
There will definiteley be a full post about that...you see it all started off with a rather involved lie which was needed.  I will post about it later.

I didn't go to yoga...but I did have a good excuse I couldn't go to the class because with the spring cleaning everything was on the front lawn and I couldn't leave the house all open with all our stuff (people might mistake it for something else and help themselves to stuff).
So later that night instead I did P90X Kempo with Shelby.
Then we made BBQ asparagus with lemon and beef shishkabobs.
We watched part one of the season finale of Project Runway and then we were so so tired that we had an early night.

Sunday
I woke up early and spun (yea spinning).
Chatted with one of my flatmates from Singapore via skype.
He was all happy because India won the Cricket world cup :)
We talked about me planning a trip to India which I'm dying to go do.
Then I had to leave my place by 10:30am to head to Bella's for her Stella and Dot Party.

She had an awesome spread of cupcakes, squares, veggies, cheese, crackers, wine, sangria, juices and water.  We got it all set up in under an hour and then had a chance to chat.  The lady came to do the jewellery party and set it all up.  The pieces were gorgeous just totally not in my streamlined budget.
My favourite pieces were...



Petra Bracelet $108



The Bracelet is prettier on then just on blank background.

Rachel Necklace $98 (Can be worn single or double strand).

I love love LOVE this jewellry travel case but at $98 it seems overpriced :(

You can be proud of me though I didn't buy anything (and Bella totally didn't care).
I sure was temped though...I just think it is not a "necessity" right now and I need to be all about necessities.

Then I tried to leave for Yoga but Bella and my other cousin Melody wouldn't let me.
In exchange for not going I made Bella promise me a hot yoga first class (she has never been) and a prenatal yoga class (Melody was twelve weeks on Sunday with her first).
So instead we made chicken soft tacos and watched the Apprentice.

It was a great night (besides the hail and snow that pounded down!...it's freaking April no more snow please!)  So that was my full and fun weekend.
Last night sleep wasn't great due to a huge thunderstorm that left my poor dog shivering with fear. 
Before I knew it though it's Monday morning and I'm back at work...back to yoga today too!  (Another mom day so let's hope this one goes better than the first).

The Yoga Diaries~Day One

Okay so yesterday I was a wreck about yoga (read here).
I was taking my mum to her first yoga class.
I even made it to buy skidless yoga towel and a non disposable water bottle (because this studio doesn't allow one use water bottles).

So we get ready and go to the studio.
Which is tiny but pretty awesome.
It is the first class I've been too where they had each little section marked off
(like a little bigger area than your mat).
And good thing too because every single space was full.
The instructor literally didn't have a spot and just did corrections/adjustments
and gave instructions which I actually really liked.

So we go in and my mum is already negative like it "smelled funny" in there etc.
Then she is talking about how her yoga pants (the ones I got her...the expensive Lululemon ones...ones that I don't have yet for myself...yea Target yoga pants!) were too thick.
So I let her get ready in the change room and go secure us spots together in the studio.
Thinking to myself this feels way hotter than when I met Eva for hot yoga.
Probably just because I was so stressed out.

I go back out and the instructor is talking to my mum explaining things outside the actual studio room.
Letting her know that sometimes hot yoga can be overwhelming or uncomfortable for some people so to go slow, drink plenty of water and if you feel dizzy/nauseous/lightheaded then just lay down and drink water becuase exciting the studio can be too shocking on the body.  I'm looking at my mum's face during this as she looks kind of perturbed actually.  Oh well here goes nothing.

So I show my mum our spot and we lay down in Ashananaya (is what it sounds like to me...you know when you lay down and relax and get used to the heat...the preheating (like when you are baking something) phase).
I couldn not relax...here is what was racing through my mind...

Okay here we go...Hot yoga with mum.

(glance over at my mum who is beat red already and kind of huffing...like when someone blows air up at thier bangs...not due to a health concern (I wouldn't take someone with uncontrolled blood pressure etc to hot yoga obviously)...anywho she is huffing and it is because she won't use the head band to pull her bangs off her forehead...does she realize no one cares about how they look in hot yoga)...whatever...I take a deep breath in and try to relax my shoulders.

Okay I'm here and it is about me and practicing yoga.

(My mum sits up to wipe her face and drink water...and huffs).

Okay Teagan just breath and relax.

Is that guy setting up DIRECTLY in front of me really wearing a speedo???

Yup...weird even when I did yoga in Bali and Singapore I never saw anyone do class in a speedo.

Okay Teagan CLEAR YOUR HEAD.

I can't believe Jacob messaged me AGAIN on the way to yoga.

He said I must be excited to start my work in Canada soon...said and then said "Canada's hottest (fill in the blank with my profession)"  I find myself smiling at this...wait I shouldn't smile this guys has a fiancee...that is some bad karma you are bringing yourself Teagan.

Just focus on breathing...okay breathing in and out letting my shoulders go heavy then my elbows then my fingers then my hips then my kn...okay my mum is fussing around again wiping face and drinking water...she must hate this relaxation thing...this is probably the first and last time for her doing yoga...crap another birthday gift foiled...okay center where was I oh yea breathing letting my knees go heavy then my ankles now just breathe...when is this class going to start I've been Ashananaya-ing forEVER.

Okay just breathe...wow this class is really full...still haven't heard from Spencer...what a jerk...I can't believe him...I really should get on the lawyer/separation/divorce thing asap...as soon as I save the intial $2000...I wish I didn't blame myself...maybe if I had started hot yoga when I was first stressed out...maybe...gosh I need to stop thinking about that...it's over and it was a HUGE costly mistake...I have to just be that divorced girl and try to explain it one day if someone ever wants to be with me again...oh gosh did I just huff too?  Okay focus on breathing...FINALLY the instructor is starting class...

As I went through all the movements...downward dog....shatvananaya...baby cobra...warriors and unicorns and plows and harths or something...wheelbarrows maybe...and whatever else you do.  The instructor was amazing and really helped my mum a ton.  She did okay but looked angry the whole time...oh well.  I really enjoyed the class and there wasn't too much chanting (which I'm not really into anyway).  And before I knew it the hour was up...in fact the preheating phase was probably the longest feeling part...Sort of like in Eat, Pray, Love when Julia Roberts can't clear her head for meditation...probably because I also suck at quieting my mind.

So then we leave and my mum starts...I should really be more prepared after 29 years.
"Teagan you have to dress really good because you will get sick going from hot to cold like this" (sure mum)
"Did you see that fat person in there...they must have really sweat a lot more" (cringe)
"The dressing room is too small we should leave our stuff in the front check in area.  I'm NEVER using the dressing room again there is no point" (nodding okay).
"It's not really a hard work out you just sweat because it's so hot in there" (umm okay)
"That one guy is disgusting who wears there underwear to work out" (it was a speedo but agreed kind of)
"You shouldn't drive this way (I was turning right)...go straight"  (and we proceed to drive right into the ALL the traffic of the OHL (kind of a step below NHL...which is hockey) PLAYOFF game that just let out)...making the drive all that longer.
"I sweat so much I'm going to have to wash my hair again today"
"These headbands suck they are hot because of this...what is this rubber?" (no mum it's silicon so they don't slip during yoga sigh)
"What language was the instructor speaking...I had no idea one it was...it was weird" (I think it's Sanscrit)
You pretty much get the idea.

I miss going to yoga and driving home in silence.
I miss having my own place to just...be.
I did feel relaxed by the end of the class though it just was all "undone" by the time I got home.
Hmmm since this is $40 for 40 days package maybe I should try and do yoga for 40 days straight?
Hmmm it's an idea...lets see if I can just go 2 days back to back before I decide.
Maybe a ticker is in order.
Let's see...the next class I can go to is at 6:30pm today.

Namaste.

Lulu "Necessities"

So remember when I wrote all about my mum's birthday gift of Yoga classes? (read here if you don't).
Tonight is our first class.
It isn't a beginner class (those conflict with her work schedule) but I figure its a good yoga studio and she should be okay.
It is also hot yoga...I'm hoping this isn't irritating to my mum.

I have to go buy water bottles because the studio that we are going to doesn't allow disposable plastic water bottles.  I used to have a ton of Nalgene's but can't find any of them.
I went on the Lulu website and they are really pretty.
My dad gave me money for that and yoga towels.
I know I'm totally spoiled AND I am feeling frustrated that I have been turning down my dad EVERY time for money when I watch my brother buy watches, clothing, and other junk all.the.time.  So I'm giving in and taking it this time.
The good news is my dad doesn't ever throw it in my face or ask me for money back for things he gives me...unlike the mum wedding mirror incident which I will have to write about in full detail later.

I'm thinking of getting these because they are thin and non slip.
They are a little pricy at $65 + 13% tax considering it is a towel.
Does anyone have experience with them?
I got Eva one for her birthday last year and she seemed to love it.
Haha guess my Lulu purchases are on the way up.
Well when funded by my dad anyway.
I will keep you posted on what I pick and how it works at yoga tonight.
Can you tell I'm stressing about tonight?

Emerald Eyed Girl Goes To A Bridal Shower

So I geared myself up for the bridal shower.
Got a great pep talk in the morning (over Tim Horton's coffee) with Jane before she left to go home.
Her suggestion...go as long as I could and leave when I needed to and don't feel the need to have to explain ANYthing to anyone.

So I put on my outfit we had picked the night before.

Which I thought was nice for a bridal shower.
I couldn't find my red heels which I was searching for but didn't want to be late.

I actually really really like the girl who is getting married.
We have a lot in common.
Including picking the exact same wedding venue, photographer, and florist.
Thanks goodness Eva's wedding is the same day so I don't have to sit through a wedding where I was supposed to get married.

So I get there and it starts off okay.
I wished my cousin Bella hadn't left for Cuba that morning so at least I would have an accomplice.
I guess I should explain how bridal showers etc. work in my family.
The Bridal shower is typically a lunch but I've seen the food rival some weddings I've been too.
Typically this lunch is held in a restaurant or hall (in this case a restaurant).
This one was a restaurant they closed for a Sunday afternoon for JUST the bridal shower all afternoon.
You can't tell but behind the girls is the same size space (beyond the brick walls) where the bar was set up and the buffet.
It was buffet style.
I think there was about 85 women there.
We eat lunch and gossip.

So first embarrasing moment was when my table (of 8) was in line for the dessert part of the buffet (that came AFTER the soup buffet part, the salad buffet part, and the main buffet part that included fish/beef/pork/chicken/pastas)).  And since we are all European we go to the buffet 4 different times.
And my mum walks by and says (loudly), "uh uh (like a "no no" sound) Teagan...that is all fattening".
Now let me explain a bit because I think my mum was likely pointing out that I generally eat healthy.
I'm lucky in a sense but I don't love desserts that much so I generally don't order it at a restaurant etc.
But my mum usually sounds like a b*tch with comments...like this is well known amoung my family that she is very VERY harsh and says thing that are usually negative.
So this makes it look like (in front of a TON of other people) that my mum is referring to the fact that I shouldn't be eating desserts because of my size.
I even got sympathetic looks and one woman said, "don't worry we can all cheat now and then" and another pipped in "just have a little bite of the things you really like"...which only FURTHER confirmed the fact that everyone must think I look like I'm bigger and I am currently at the heaviest I have ever been.
I turned bright red and just grabbed a martini glass filled with fruit and slinked back to the table.

Then the bride opens the gifts and the maid of honour reads the cards.
In most cases due to the size of the location a microphone is used.

For this one there was bridal shower bingo (which forces you to pay attention to the gift opening).  And yes the gifts covered four tables and even more.  It took all 5 bridesmaids to keep the lineup going at a reasonable pace. 
Pretty much you get a blank sheet and fill in what you think she will get (or what you remember from the registry that was purchased). 

I was literally the ONLY woman there who wasn't in a relationship/married.
Someone kindlly pointed this fact out to me...not so cool.
Wanted to punch them in the teeth!

The youngest there (17) and "even she was in a 2 year relationship" the person told me!

Oh well.

So here were some of my thoughts on the event.

• Totally jealous.  Would love to have a party where I get tons of gifts to get started with my life.
• My girls would have done an awesome job at keeping it super organized so the gift opening would take a minimum time (this one was just over 1.5 hours to open all the gifts).
• Is it really necessary to have a HUGE buffet lunch, open bar, shower favours etc. for the shower?  Usually in our family weddings include MANY pre parties including engagement party, bridal shower, stag and doe, bachelorette/bachelor party and THEN the wedding. (I will explain the difference/how it works when I get into my Spencer chapters too).
• I really wish this was me.  I wish I was still planning my wedding and showers.
• Why do people complain about planning these things I LOVED planning these things.
• When will it stop to hurt?
• Will this ever be me?
• Will every question/hold their breath if I am holding one...wanting to see if there will actually be a wedding to follow?
• Will I also be holding my breath if this is the case?
• I sure wish there was a time travel machine so I could change the past.

After the gifts were done I had pretty much had it.
So I went to my mum's table to say bye because she was leaving for Florida that night.
I didn't know one of the ladies at the table so my mum introduced me as her daughter.
And I don't know what my mum must have said but she said "so are you taking notes?"
I must have looked puzzled so I kind of said "pardon me?"
She said "well you're single right? so you should take notes on how it's done."
I'm going to try and be positive and assume that she was just trying to have conversation.
It just was such a random comment I had no idea what to say,
so I just nodded and said "yes."
So I wished my mum a good trip to Florida (for the third time in 2011) what can I say my family loves Florida.

So with that I got my things and thought to myself okay I made it let's get the HECK out of here.
I bumped into the groom at the entrance to the restaurant who was bringing his bride to be a ginormous bouquet of roses. 
I smiled and politely said hello...he grabbed my shoulder and said "Teagan are you doing okay?"
I just widened my smile and said "of course...I hope you have lots of room in your car for all those gifts...congratulations again."
He sympathetically nodded and said "hey thanks for coming I know it must be tough for you."
I just nodded and walked away ...way to call me out dude!
But I survived...barely.