staying in on the fourth

I was pretty excited when he suggested we hang out the very next night
A total random Monday night date
I was a touch hung over from the martinis the night before.

He suggested we just warm up some of the leftovers.
And we quickly settled into watching episodes of The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad
And it felt really good.

Pic from here

So I suppose ...
even though I'm likely jinxing it...
MrAttorney is the only one I'm interested in hanging out with.

Honey I'm Home

Nothing quite like being away for 5 days (which I will update about later).
And coming home to a slightly disheveled dark apartment.
With no one awaiting my return.
In fact if I came home later or even not at all today no one would even notice.
And that is super hard to swallow.
Some things really make me feel quite lonely.

Safe Haven

My escape here in Florida has been two fold...
One of these has been heading to the gym.
The walk there to just simmer down.

The actual gym which more often than not is empty.

My other safe haven is my room.
Which I made bright and sunny for Florida.
I wanted my room to feel like a happy vacation spot.
What's more happy than pink and green?

I picked the smaller between the two bedrooms (not including the master of course).  
I like how it makes it cozy :)

 I love the thick crown molding!

I love my clear lamp...and the random shiny pink parrot that I found.
I need to fill that green vase with some white hydrangeas I think!

I enjoy small details like how I can find a curtain rod that echos the lamp without it being from the same store.

It's definitely my escape.
Maybe I'll do a whole house tour for y'all.
It's just a small vacation home but I really like it.

It's Christmas time in the city...

Had to leave work today because I was so darn sick!
But it let me snap some pictures tonight of some of my Christmas decorations up.

The tree is up!

Fleur de Lis light!

Something less Christmas-ey...I'm loving the white feathers with the clear and glittery reindeer!

Some Christmas decor...and if you look carefully you can see I've moved some things around.
I totally owe y'all an updated apartment tour.
But thought I would share the holiday decor.

This year we will be spending it at our Florida house (for the first time).
And I'm totally dreading the 10 days that I decided to stay for (not sure what I was thinking...4 days appears to be the max from prior experience).
So hopefully that will mean a lot of working out and a lot of blogging.
Dare I say perhaps get the ex-boyfriend project rolling just a little bit more?!?!
That may be high hopes though lol.

Mother's Day

Just a quick post on how Mother's Day went down this year.
I tore myself away from MrKent after an amazing date.
And drove to my hometown.

The hometown I tend to avoid at all costs.
The hometown that I haven't been in since Christmas (yes really).
I just feel uncomfortable there...as I've mentioned only like a zillion times on this blog.


Anywho I sucked it up after all it was Mother's Day.
It's funny how some things never change and remain the same.
Which is weird because I feel like I've been through a WHOLE lot of change personally.


I still picked up a Mother's Day gift for my mum.
My brother signed the card.
And asked if he could go in on it on Mother's Day...rightttttttttttttttttttttt.


My brother was all excited to show off his new 12K Rolex.
Which makes me a petulant child because all I want to do is be able to move downtown.
(I can't afford it)...and I'm jealous that everything seems to come so easy for him.


Family lunch where everyone drinks their face off (except me).
And everyone discusses all the out of North America travel places they will got the remainder of 2012 (except me...I do have to say at least I have Dallas over Labor Day to look forward to!)
It just sometimes feels very out of body type experience around the fam.


I packed up my car and came back "home" currently the TDot.
I may have been thinking of places I would like to travel to or move.
And it just led me to daydream.
Some exciting things I did come back with...more things from my grandfather that I will highlight in another post.


This post sort of feels like Mother's Day...awkward.
But just for fun.
I thought I would leave you with this pic that I found at my parents place.
One of the pics that my grandpa had left with his other things.


I've never seen this photo before this weekend.
I guess there is a little bit of my mom in me.
As evidence in this photo.
Plus I seriously rocked leggings and a mini even back then.

Random Picture Post!

Want some random pictures?
Good...hear ya go!

Sometimes I totally have a bachelor pad fridge...just saying.

Seriously.

St. Paddy's Day Beer...I remember they used to use these like puck shaped things when I was younger...now a drizzle of green dye that looks kinda gross!

My St. Paddy's Day go to...Midori and Sprite...and not just because KimKardashian is Midori's spokesperson either I like the taste.  Yummy!

Me and Will at St. Paddy's Day.  @SoMidwestern...he's wearing a nice jacket eh?  And you better believe I wore a dress and pearls to St. Paddy's day :)

Outfit for date#1with MrMD read here if you missed it...I LOVE this outfit...I feel cute in it :)

Random outfit pic...with my spring jacket.  It's my fav I love the bubble hem.

Outfit sans jacket.  I was on my way to a sorority meeting.

Shoes from outfit above...I LOVE bows!-Anne Klein 

A few weeks ago it was so cloudy but this has got to be the coolest pic with the CN Tower...I didn't take this though.

Same day the view from my 26th floor condo...so foggy.

Quinn's babygirl...seriously how cute is this!

Pic from my casual Sunday outfit for the seminar I was stuck in all weekend.

Totally random I know but I kept meaning to share these pics!

Breathe

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable" (The Wizard of Oz).

I feel behind.
Like I need to somehow catch up to everything even though I did post less than a week ago.
Maybe I'm just being overdramatic (sort of my style right?!)

I want to write about (but will instead bullet point it and give myself only the option to expand if I feel like it):

• my Sunday day date with MrAccountant
• my Thursday night date with MrAccountant
• how I then left the date for another "business" evening aka club opening with bottle service with the boys at the new hottest club downtown (that I dodged advances and watched inappropriate things go down)
• how I came home to see my wedding dress hanging in my parent's office...just when I was able to forget it was hanging there
• my intent to document our family traditional Christmas to try and appreciate it more (I'll save you the guess I didn't because...)
• The Christmas Eve dinner turned into an ever escalating argument.
• The Christmas Eve tradition of opening all our presents at midnight turning into a huge family blow out where words like this were tossed out...that I can't even bring myself to write down...that I'm struggling with that ..it took the breath and words from me...that all I could do was blink and stare...that led to even my brother calling a cab and leaving...and the heartbreaking awkwardness that followed.
• The uncertainty I have felt in my heart about the future of my family that brings back a scary heavy  dull ache that I haven't felt in a year creeping back in.
• the need to write it down because it is the first sign of a crack...one that might turn into a life changing crack...the feeling of something maybe happening and having no ability to change it...it's not mine to change.
• mistakenly coming across pictures of the last weekend with Spencer...and it's not that I miss him...I don't at all...but why do I just see pure joy and happiness on my face and in my eyes that is mysteriously absent in all pictures since.
• having a discussion yesterday with my mum about Spencer...and the pure foolishness of all my decisions...and the feeling of regret and wistfully wishing I could change the past...that I could somehow unravel this mistake...
• the uncertainty about my career that just keeps popping up in my head like an unrelenting song and I quickly trying to submerse these feelings...of wanting something different of pursuing something entirely different.
• pangs of wanting love ...real love...but also the kind you see on CW drama shows..and the hope that it does exist and it is out there for me.
• I was supposed to drive back to the TDot tonight...instead I stayed at my parents place (they've left for Florida) so I can get an early start tomorrow instead of driving in the dark tonight.
• because of this the quiet stillness of a big house...a house that feels like home that may or may not be around for all that much longer...
• selfish because I still have dreams of bridal showers, and getting ready photos in THIS house and it being so not likely as in not likely to happen at all and if it does then it being so far away that it is completely laughable so why am I thinking about it???
• hate to be cliche but is this what everyone talks about when they say the holiday season is the worst for suicides???  Maybe because it is such a reflective time of the year...like how sometimes things change but stay the exact same.
• this may officially be the most random post of all time...but strangely enough I think I feel better than last year...I think...
• sometimes I have to just remind myself to breathe...

  

Moving to the TDot Take Two...

So last weekend I packed up my stuff and got ready to move again.
Here is the disaster of the old place as I packed up.
What a pain in the butt to pack after feeling like I barely got settled and unpacked.

Getting a little more organized...

Almost ready to go...

My room all packed up.
And yes I totally moved my clothes and linens just like Angelina from Jersey Shore.
Straight up trash bag styles...classy haha.

So I'm going to gloss over the fact of the disasters of moving that I briefly mentioned here.
And thank goodness I am officially unpacked less than a week later.
Below will be way too many pictures of way too many details of my second new place.
Without further ado welcome to my second new place in the TDot...

The entrance.
I hasten to give it a word like "grand" because in reality it is a 570sq ft tiny apartment.
But it's mine :)
And I swear one day the mirror story will occur.

Storage in the teeny apartment is a premium to in my front closet the shelves are dedicated to things like kitchen, paperwork, things to return to the girls, work out supplies (ie. non skid yoga towel), and cleaning supplies.

And toilet paper/paper towels and detergent.

Just call it my random closet of storage.

Right beside that one is a deeper closet where I keep the shoes/good purses and jackets.

Right beside that closet is the ensuite laundry.  So happy I don't have to trudge to a basement to do it.  Some of the apartments I looked at in Toronto had some SCARY laundry rooms.

And yes that is a dryel bag so I can try and do dry cleaning minimally.

Just past the hall there is my kitchen/dining room/entrance to bathroom.

Straight ahead the living room.

My obsession over the desk.  West Elm lacquer white.  I'm still loving it.
Plant courtesy of the girls.  I hope I don't kill it. 

From the living towards the entrance and kitchen.

And from the other corner. 

The tiny bathroom.

From the bathroom into the bedroom.

Purse organization. 

This closet is half the size of the other new place in TDot closet. 
And I'm doing laundry hence the empty hangers.

Oh and did you see in the living room.

The glasses Taylor gave me.

Just WAITING to be used when she comes back here in January.

I'm totally counting the days!!!

So that's it.

It's my second place.

And there is so much more to tell you.

Of third dates (MrFinance), birthday celebrations, car trouble, Jacob trouble, work drama, overseas job offers, and the generalized chaos that is my life.

More updates to come.

But for now...what do y'all think?