oh hey...

Pic from here

oh hey,
so ummm yeah where have I been?
Between crushing hard on MrAttorney falling if you will.
And caught up in the wedding plans of Laurel (her wedding is in two weeks).
And chilling with the girls.
I've simply been busy doing instead of writing.

But to return back to the vent.
This week I wanted to make things official with MrAttorney.
So I pretty much said, 'hey I don't want to be "seeing you" or "dating you" I want to be your girlfriend".
Only...

He's not ready...
He says he really likes me.
And he's not saying he doesn't see it going there.
BUT (even though he says there is no but) he isn't quite ready.

Now it's not that he's seeing other people.
Sometimes we spent 12 nights in a row together alternating between places.
But clearly this is bad.
I find myself hurt and embarrassed for putting it out there.
And it's so weird because we talk via email all day long and I literally cannot spend enough time with this guy.
Some people wouldn't even push the issue.
He's kind and sweet to me and a fantastic kisser.
But clearly there is an issue.
And I'm bummed.
And so yeah...

nothing terribly exciting to announce anyway.

Lonely

Pic from here

Things are coming along.
I'm finding my groove here because well it's the only option.
But there are times when I feel inexplicably lonely.

Like when I come home from a trip.
Or on a random Wednesday night.
And it made me remember this quote I love...

“When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone." Tennessee Williams, Camino Real

And that is my one hope in life ...to at some point not feel lonely...

Honey I'm Home

Nothing quite like being away for 5 days (which I will update about later).
And coming home to a slightly disheveled dark apartment.
With no one awaiting my return.
In fact if I came home later or even not at all today no one would even notice.
And that is super hard to swallow.
Some things really make me feel quite lonely.