OTH truth

I'm rewatching One Tree Hill from the beginning as I try to organize my life.
And I remember why I love it.
I feel like Brooke Davis.

Especially in this episode where she says this...

Brooke Davis: Why does everybody lie? You know, the bad guys lie to get in your bed, and the good guys lie to get into your heart. And I'm the idiot who falls for it every time

If you want to see her say it it's here

I feel exactly like her.

I fall for it every.single.time.

This sums it up...

This is why I love Sex and the City.
This is EXACTLY how I feel.

I believe in...Daddy's Girls

So not to be too excited because there are still too many things on edge.
Like I'm supposed to move to Toronto on Saturday but I don't have a place to move to...stress!

Then I got a bill for basically my association (which is mandatory to participate in)...after searching through my papers (didn't I just pay a couple of thousand to do this???).  I realized that the provincial one is from Aug 1-July 31st each year...therefore the scrimping and saving for a new place and other fees I was stumped how I would come up with ANOTHER ~$2200 by the 31st.

So I was upset and I told my dad...something along the lines of that I keep trying and things (well expenses) keep coming up and I'm homeless (I know I was being way over dramatic)  and I'm really really stressed.
My dad (who is my hero and does not give things with strings attached).
Said these magic words "I'll take care of it don't tell your mum."
These words have saved me in the past.
As a stronger, better independent person would refuse the gesture.
But I couldn't.
Not now...not on the brink of good things after such a crappy crappy year.

So I accepted gratefully.
Then randomly we were chatting and he said...how come you don't listen to that music player (dad talk for iPod) anymore you used to have that thing with you everywhere.
I admitted that it was one of the things Spencer had and didn't return and that it was okay I would save up for one in the future.
My dad then said...Teagan I think you've been punished enough...seriously you've been working so hard and you don't complain (clearly he doesn't read/know about the blog haha)...order one...consider it a new job gift.

And that my friends is how today I ordered a pink nano...the new kind.

How stellar are things starting to work out for this kid?
Now I just need good news on the apartment front.

I was stuck on the free engraving part of the order for awhile.
I finally decided on part of an Audrey Hepburn quote...I believe in pink (and then added my initials).
Ever see it?
I've seen it in two different parts...(from brainyquote.com)

I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and... I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn

And thought that it would serve as a little inspiration when needed.
So that is how my Tuesday is totally looking up.



PS I may have called Spencer's mum last night to try and get his contact info and probably left the worst message where I sounded like I was totally going to cry ughhh...its a step though.  The bigger step will be to contact my lawyer but I thought I would try and call Spencer's parents first by phone (which I did last night).  Then Thursday by email and then just give up by then on that front.  It is terrifying though to deal with that whole issue.

PPS Jacob is still messaging me daily but don't worry I'm still ignoring it...daily :)

PPPS MM left for business trip to Cali this past Saturday so that is why you won't hear much or haven't heard much as of late but he messages me daily...and I totally respond :)  Oh yea and we are officially dating/seeing each other...whatever that means.I love it.

Thinking...

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on path? Will others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up."

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment who will you be? Will you let down your defenses, and find solace in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? Will you face your greatest fear bravely? And move forward with faith. Or will you succumb to the darkness in your soul?"

~OTH EPISODE 404

Stepping Forward

"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation." - Brian Tracy

So real quick.
This morning I went to the lawyers to get my applications, pictures etc. notarized so I can begin my career in Canada (yippee again!!)  Another step forward in the right direction for sure.
Yesterday I tried to call Spencer and just left a voicemail...saying "Hey we need to talk to get everything finalized.  I would really like to move forward with everything as soon as possible.  Please call me back when you get a chance."  Because I haven't heard from him since February (read here) and he obviously doesn't give a flying fern that he said he would get back to me on March 10th!  What.a.jerk.

Anyway moving on and back to me...I felt like I was a super savvy saver because the application requires a 2" x 2" photo.  So instead of going to get a random passport photo taken I just used photo paper on my home printer and printed off a picture (instead of paying $16.99 + 13% Tax).  Also I think it is important to have a nice photo for things like memberships, student ID cards, etc because you never know what it may be used for.  For example based on my student ID card photo in Texas I was picked to be photographed for the new campus campaign in my last year (which was so fun and as close to modeling as I will ever get). 

Anywho my usual lawyer wasn't there so his hotter younger associate filled in to get me all "notarized".  He looks at my photo (don't cringe...it totally was one of my individual shots from my engagement photos (but it doesn't look engagment-ey. I like it because my hair/makeup/lighting is pretty freaking awesome!))  And he said, "wow that's certainly not a driver's license photo you look great!"  I blushed and said, "thank you."  As he walked out of the room to grab his notarizing instruments I glanced down at his left hand and yes...totally married but I just took the compliment and cherished it. 

We chatted for a bit after that and he asked me about my career in Canada and if I was just beginning to practice so I gave him the "cover story" (read about that here where I tried it for the first time) and it seemed to go pretty well again.  I think it is a positive enough story anyway.  When I left he said, "welcome home Teagan."  I actually felt pretty good.  How do I judge how good I'm interacting with people?  I totally have a system.  Well you see I have some people that I know that have the BEST interaction skills with others.  You know those incredibly social people who are just amazing and friendly and everyone instantly likes...that is my bestie Taylor.  It is impossible to meet her and not instantly like her and she can get along with anyone.  Well... I felt like Taylor as I was conversing...I felt smart and bubbly and pretty and friendly.  So when I walked out I noticed the sun was shining (albeit on the snowy walkway).  The air is still cold and crisp here but when I looked up to the sky I could feel the warmth from the sun on my face.  I took a deep breath in and smiled ...welcome home indeed.

Pic from: http://www.flash-screen.com/free-wallpaper/uploads/201005/imgs/1274770418_1280x1024_winter-sunshine.jpg