Valentine's Day Rant

Y'all I was (am?) the type of person who LOVED Valentine's Day.
I loved all the pink and red and mushiness.
The flowers, the candy, the cards and all that love.


Well...
Today I'm in a mood.
I feel like saying F*@% You Facebook pictures/status update.
Ohhhhhh look at me!!!! My boyfriend/fiance/husband is SOOOOOOOOOOO amazing and thinks I'm SOOOOOOOOO amazing.*
BLEH!


I also may just be a little cranky from feeling bloaty and gross.
DOUBLE BLEH!
Actually you know why I'm actually cranky?
Because I'm a hopeless romantic.
Walking out this morning I was secretly hoping...


I totally live in a dream world where I hope and dream and wish that maybe someone** 
...will surprise me with flowers.
Or really a text message.
Heck I'm so so mad at myself to be willing to accept such a 0 effort gesture.
Which is so not even close to being good enough!
And just in case you're wondering not even THAT was made.


This morning I was full of hope.
I even had a Valentine's Day outfit for work.
Please ignore the bloat.
Instead pay attention to my new favourite combo of baby pink and red.

Here are the shoes.
I'm so cranky right now I feel like even my feet are bloaty...gross.

And at the end of the day...reality sets in.
I'm eating leftovers from last evening dinner (more about that later).

Watching the Bachelor.

Alone.


So it actually makes me a little panicky.
I know if I continued to date MrAccountant he would have planned something.
I know if I continued to date MrEngineer/MrDoctor he would have taken me out for dinner (now I may very well have had to pick up the tab but at least I would be out tonight).
I know if I continued to date MrRussian he would have for sure sent flowers, and complimented me and planned something wonderful.
So did I make a mistake?!
Should I not have cleared all those dates I had lined up?
When I felt something there with him**


I get a little panicky when instead of a message from the person I want to get a message from...**
I get a message from Jacob.
Which of course you know I had to have a little fun with paint.
Today's message is at the bottom...seriously.

So it makes me panic a bit.
Is something better than nothing?
Is a little better than nothing at all?
And this is where I begin to slightly panic.


Especially because of things that still float in and out of my dreams...
comments like here (less than two weeks ago)***
or things like
'I never thought I would find even how smart you are to be such an attractive quality...'
I may have even heard at dinner last evening that he is 'trying not to fall for me'
Seriously are you also shaking your head.
Because I am.
I mean really WTF.


And I'm cranky and irritated.
So when I'm especially like this I head on down to the treadmill to pound out some kilometres (miles if you're American) I'm about to go do that.


I also play this little comparison game.
Where I wish I was in the next year ahead (hoping to maybe be in love and everything that comes with).
I look at a year back (where I was in Winterpeg barely noticing that it was Valentine's Day).
Looking two years back (where I was madly in love and at the time traveling in Thailand with my bestie, my brother and my fiance).
Looking three years back (where I was just freshly moved to Canada temporarily and had a fresh new romance that was kind of fun but mainly a distraction).
And then it becomes too annoying to continue to look back and I simply don't want to look back any further...


So I'm cranky.
A little bored.
And maybe just slightly contemplating sending in my application for the Bachelor Canada haha (seriously they are casting for the first season here).
Except can you imagine the scandalous US Weekly covers possible with my drama?!
So let's not even go there.
So don't mind me if I kind of want to flip off Valentine's Day just a little.

*Disclaimer- to my lovely friends who have posts/facebook pics etc.  Love ya and the fact that you have this in your lives...I'm just a little emerald-eyed at the moment!
**MrDentist
***So I'm probably totally overreacting like HUGE


Pics from here here when they aren't my own

Second Chance Date

Ahhh second chances....don't you just love those?!
So remember I went on a first date with MrDoctor (read here if you missed it).
Well he invited me on a second date...and well I thought why the heck not.
Plus it was to be something that would push me out of my comfort zone.
And I've been all about that lately.

He invited me rock climbing.
I've been one time.  I think I was 16 so it really doesn't count.
I asked him if he was good.
He told me he was an average climber.

So I headed there straight after work.
So I'm in dress clothes and a red pea coat.
I walk into Rock Oasis.
And y'all I walked in and they were uber serious hard core rock climbing people.

Serious rock climbing folks.

So I saunter up the counter with a timid smile on my face and say "hi it's my first time here and I'm here for a lesson but my friend isn't here yet".
The disinterested way to cool for school climbing dude points to the side and says "sign the waiver".
THAT was my welcome there.
I wanted to be like HELLO dude I have no idea what to do can't you tell that I'm completely out of my element here?!?!?!
I'm practically this chick (see below).

How's my hair?

So I figure things out.
MrDoctor called me because he was stuck in traffic heading into the city.
So he let me know to get started if the lesson was starting and he told me not to pay because he would get it when he got there.
So that was really nice of him.

The lesson begins and it's me and 3 european dudes.
We start and it is pretty intimidating at first.
We start on a wall rated 5.4
When MrDoctor showed up I noticed his gear was definitely not of the rental variety.

He definitely was much more than an average climber.
I was sporting my fauxLuluLemon (ie. Target) yoga gear.
Other point to note when you go rock climbing for a date you spend a lot of time staring at each others butt's...this is an important fact to consider.

So I finished off the lesson and we began climbing.
It was top rope which meant he was on the ground belay-ing me (I had to not snicker when I realized the word "lay" was in it).
Anywho it is sort of like this.

Rock climbing can also teach you a lot about the person.
How they are at incouraging you and pushing you.
If they taunt or tease.
How they work.

MrDoctor was convinced I could climb a 5.8.
I barely thought I could do a 5.5.
He went first and started with a 5.10 (seriously!)
I knew he wasn't an average climber especially when he utilized his own personal chalk bag.

We alterated between climbing and belaying.
I was how I always am...slow and steady.
Completing climbs only in absolute correct successtion.
5.5 then 5.6 then 5.7 then 5.8 (which was pretty tough).

MrDoctor thought I should try a 5.9.
This seemed impossible but with his encouraging and coaching I made it 3/4s up which I never thought I could do!
It was fun and exhausting.

After he suggested we grab a bite to eat.
I agreed.
So he suggested The Red Room which seems like a very cool UofT bar.
Problem with quirky little uni bars...not a lot of pics on the internet but here's two.

I get that the sign doesn't say Red Room but I remember it looking like this.

Black and White photos make places seem so cool and vintage don't they.

I ordered the glass noodles which were DELISH.
He ordered a stirfry.
We launched into conversation.
I really enjoy talking to him.

Are you waiting for the but???
I think I may be too materialistic for him.
Shocker?

It's not that I like to be wasteful or frivolous.
But if I want to save up for my dream Burberry Trench I don't want to get guilt tripped about it.
And no he didn't do that.
But as we were talking he was so into charity work.
And we lengthey discussion about consumption and consumerism.

I really enjoy hanging out with him but this is a worry of mine.
It's way too early to worry about it anyway.
Perhaps we will go climbing again and we can chat more about these things.
Maybe there is a third date in the cards.

But before I end this post.
How did the date end you ask?
I was so thoroughly enjoying myself that I didn't even think about the possibility of a good night kiss.
Until I went to hug him and realized...oh he is about to kiss me but my head is already turning and he's about to get the side mouth.

Yes folks I side mouthed another one.
And then he gave me a second kiss on the cheak because my head was firmly turned.
Why am I the most AWKWARD person ever at the end of the date?!?!?!
Ughhhhhhhhhhh!


Pics from here here here here here

Another First Date Conundrum.

So Thursday night after work I had another first date.
This one with MrDoctor.
He suggested a cute restaurant called Vegetarian Haven.
I walked there from work.
He met me there.

It was actually pretty fun.
The food was actually pretty great.
And it was a jam packed restaurant.
So that was fun.

We had great conversation.
We were talking about the volunteer work he does in India on a yearly basis at a village hospital.
I find that incredibly sexy.
We had fun practical work conversations.

Then he dropped this bomb shell.
He lives with his parents.
The dude is a physician and lives ith his parents I find it bothersome.
Am I just being a snobby bitch?
I found it kind of weird.
I get that he is quite busy and does a ton of traveling.
But doesn't that seem sort of odd?
He said it allowed him to save up money and do a lot more volunteer work etc.

So then the bill comes.
And we both glance down.
I reach into my coat and pull my wallet onto my lap.
And we launch into another engaging conversation.

Then the waiter returns.
And we both glance at the bill again.
So I offer to pay.
And the waiter stands there akwardly.
And MrDoctor says how about we at least split it?
As he holds out his (gold) credit card.
REALLY?!?!?!?! split it????
And I smile and say "it's okay I got it".
And it really wasn't a huge deal (the meal was less than $50 - seemingly because these vegetarian restaurants typically don't serve alcohol).

So is this a deal breaker?
Maybe it is a test he does.
Is he worried girls are after his money?
I just felt really really weird about it.
It makes me uncomfortable that someone invites me out for dinner and then I pay.

He did thank me.
And the night ended with a kiss on the cheek (perfectly acceptible).
The next day he sent me a message thanking me for dinner and invinting me to do some indoor rock climbing this week coming up.

Here's the thing.
I don't really want to go.
It makes me feel like it would be awful.
Because I can just imagine the harness (would it make my cellulite-ey thighs and big butt look really prominent?) and me fumbling through beginner rock climbing.
Whereas this is something this guy is good at.
It just seems like it would not be fun.
I can just see myself feeling really self conscious.
Then again maybe I should push myself to go.
I just am not sure.

Plus it's not like we have to date.
He could end up being a great friend.
I'm just guessing I'm not really meant to be with a vegetariancanoerockclimber guy.
Not quite sure that is quite the right match for my supergirlypreppyyogasilly girl me.
Just saying...
So the question is do I go rock climbing???
Stay tuned...I have a date with MrDitcher on Sunday...


Pics from here here