it's been a long weekend

So I've been trying to keep myself distracted.
Friday night I headed out to see B's new place with the rest of the Canada Crew.
We headed over to a pub for some drinks and food.
I'm going to pretend I wasn't totally distracted and thinking about MrAttorney especially when he texted and called.
I may have texted him back that night.

Then Saturday I woke up early to help my friend Kay move downtown.
What a bitter pill jealousy is to swallow.
I wish I was moving downtown.
And again the volley of texts back and forth between MrAttorney and myself is almost comical.

Moving is never this fun!

It is the second time I helped someone move in the last two months.
The first time was MrAttorney.
It always blows my mind because the last 15% of stuff out of a place is the WORST to move.
And both MrAttorney and Kay kind of aren't the most organized people.

Anywho I ended up calling B in for re-enforcement due to Kay's miscalculation of only 3 boxes and a rack of clothes became my SUV filled to the max.
After we moved her in she took us for DimSum.

One of my fav places in the city for dim sum...totally ornate and so fun!  Also going to ignore that I found out about this place from going with MrAttorney.  But it literally is across the street from Kay's new apartment.

And then made to order cookies...at The Red Bench.
Kind of like the Marble Slab Ice cream place where you pick the base and then the mix ins.
Only they make hot yummy mini cookies!!!
My new fav place for dessert.



And I'm trying to be upbeat and my usual self but I know I'm just kind of sad.
And my friends see it.
Kay told me "you need to go no contact on his ass!" 
I know this is the right thing to do but boy am I struggling.

Here I go to trying to make the second half of this long weekend a bit better than the first half.
Or at least try to distract myself...

Gotta get down on Friday

So after the first full week back to work I was really looking forward to Friday.
I was stoked because the CanadaCrew girls and I had purchased a GroupOn to go see Avenue Q (a musical).
So how else would we start it off then food (obviously).

We first tried to go to Golden Turtle for Pho on Ossington.
When we got there however there was a sign saying closed for Christmas (boo).
So we headed down the street to Photien Thanh Vietnamese Restaurant.

Pic from here

We quickly all caught up and giggles and stories ensued.
I told them about my most amazing New Years in Miami.
And it was great to get out of cold rainy weather and eat yummy Pho.

Pic from here

After that we headed to the lower ossington theatre.
A smaller theatre on Ossington.

Pic from here

We grabbed glasses of wine/beer (depending on preference).
And settled in to watch Avenue Q.
I literally had NO idea what to expect.

Here's the synopsis from the playbill.
"Avenue Q is a laugh-out-loud musical that tells the timeless story of a recent college grad named Princeton who movies into a shabby New York apartment all the way out on Avenue Q.  There, he meets Kate (the girl next door), Rod (the Republican), Trekkie (the internet sexpert), Lucy the Slut (need we say more?), and other colourful types who help Princeton finally discover his purpose in life!"

Pic from here

And we quickly found ourselves giggling away to this rather inappropriate musical.
Here is a TV friendly preview from a news station.

Here is the list of songs from the playbill...which should give you an idea to the umm adult nature of this.

We all enjoyed it immensely.

Afterward Laurel and I met up with her fiance and B and C to grab a drink and watch them play pool at Billiards Academy and Sports.
Not really my style but oh well.
As you know I've been selectively avoiding B.  
So of course he messaged me the very next day inviting me out again..."just the two of us".  
Ugh and I only say ugh because I feel extremely guilty about it.
None the less it was great to catch up with the CanadaCrew girls and I can't wait until our next adventure.

Pretending

Pic from here

Today is the day.
Wedding day in my home town.
Not mine (OBVIOUSLY).
But the person that I mentioned in this post back here...where I'd mention I'd like to punch her in the face...it's her wedding today.

Like I was already not filled with dread about having to go to this event.
But talking to my mother...who is aghast that I didn't have an appointment to get my nails and hair done.
(I will be doing my own)...also that I neglected to get a new dress.
Which has me second guessing that decision...but it's too late now at 9:53am sitting here sipping tea on my couch willing myself to get ready....maybe I should have made those appointments...ugh.

At least I'm bring B as my date.
He is so funny and goofy and nice and social.
Maybe on our 2.5 hour drive to my home town I will tell him all about Spencer.
Maybe then he will understand how messed up I am.

I thought at least I would have the deflection of my brother's new girlfriend.
Whom I was informed had fake breasts and a child.
But my mum and dad met her last week and love her.
I'm not saying that those who have fake breast and a child aren't really amazing at all...ughhh I don't know what I'm saying.
She is beautiful.
It's that horrendous anxiety creeping up.
They likely will get married and again I will be that person who "almost" got married to my entire large Portuguese family...the old spinster sister.

That's probably why I'm so stressed about tonight.
The dread and feeling of the stares.
The looks of pity that always fall my way.
This is the first family wedding I've attended since my engagement party.
And I'm just stressed.

I feel like I'm carrying around a bowling ball in the pit of my stomach.
Waiting for the smart ass acidic comments that tend to roll so easily out of my family's mouths.
The ones that range from dripping with sarcasm of "are you taking notes" (remember that at this event?)
To the ones of ...well MAYBE one day it will happen for you (emphasis on the maybe).

Part of it is my own insecurity.
The looks of wonder...like obviously there was something so wrong with me that is why Spencer left me the way that he did.
And I will forever be alone.

Part of it is just good old fashioned dread.
I'm so not looking forward to tonight...in fact I feel kind of terrified.
But I'll slap on a smile and pretend like everything is great.
That's how I roll.
Fake it 'till you make it.
Reminding myself to breathe and not cry.
That is pretty much the two thoughts that will be going through my head tonight.
Breathe...don't cry...smile...breathe...don't cry...smile...

Longest week

So this week felt like forever.
Probably since coming off the high of Dallas trip and Michigan trip.
Stressed with work.
Over thinking my text messages etc with Will.
Trying to figure out about the dating situation over here.

Monday and Tuesday it was just about getting through the work day.
On Wednesday after more than a year of back and forth texting I finally met up with one of my friends from high school let's call him Mitchel.
So I suggested meeting at Fabbrica at the Shops at Don Mills 
(where I went with my parents a few weeks ago).

Had a great time and it was fun to see pictures of his little one and wife.
So that was a fun Wednesday night.
Thursday I was supposed to go out with MrPravda.
And this is how it went down.

So my deal (obviously is I detest when plans change and I like to know exactly what's going on...hence the 5:21pm confirmation by myself.
So I was quite perturbed to receive this information at 6:49pm.

So it was Thursday and I was exhausted.
And I wanted to give him an out...and then he seriously suggested I meet him at JackAstor's.
Y'all know how I feel about that...

So if he was just like my buddy and wanted to meet for a drink.
Not a problem.
The thing is I don't love that area around that mall.
It is generally fairly sketchy and just not where I like to hang out.

The other thing...it is supposed to be a date.
I wouldn't mind if it was like a friend and not a big deal but I don't know it's just I didn't have the motivation to get dolled up and drive my butt over there.

So I just couldn't handle it anymore and clearly didn't feel like going.
As soon as he texted me MrPravda gave me a call.
And we tried to reschedule something for this morning.

Friday night I had my friend Shelby in town for a baseball tournament.
She didn't get here until about 12:15am though.
And we stayed up chatting.

This morning MrPravda and I had more texting miscommunication and when he hadn't confirmed (again) with 25 minutes until we were supposed to hang out...I'm kind of irritated.
I also know that I'm probably just not that into him.
So I bailed on plans I'm supposed to text him later on today but I think I'm just going to chill out at my place.

I think I was a little cocky when I went away.
Wondering what texts I would have waiting for me when I got home.
And then not really having any.

Granted they soon did follow from MrPravda, B, and MrRealtor.
And I have not heard from MrDentalSurgeon since here.
Only I'm not sure what to do about any of them.
Taylor had the suggestion that I just scrap all of them and start fresh.
Also I'm just trying not to think about Will and what happened last weekend.

Tonight is Laurel's birthday party.
She's turning 29 and to pay tribute to her last birthday she is doing it up as keg frat party.
The theme...golf pros and tennis hoes.
It's going to be the best kind of trouble! 

Oh yea AND just to update y'all on my nails (from this crappy experience).
I took off the shellac polish Thursday night and yesterday I broke my thumb nail in like the weirdest way ever.
LOOK!

So I think that shellac manicure ruins your nails for sure.
Or at least the place where I went messed them up.
So I'm going to go back to chilling on my couch!