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| Ever have the feeling that people say you look nice that day because you've put so much effort into it so no one actually realizes you are totally and utterly bummed out?! Today was a day like that... |
So after much contemplation.
I figured I should reach out for the small sliver of
So after endless cycles of typing then erasing then typing then erasing
I finally sent this at 11:47am...
Hi :) haven't heard from you in a few days...everything ok?
AND...
Nothing.
No response.
Zero.
Nada.
And I try to not cycle through the following thoughts and things ....
~the things like glancing at each other from inside his car and both of us breaking into silly big goofy grins
~his sweet gestures like a croissant and water waiting for me that Sunday morning before we went to that wine tasting even (here)
~him blaming missing a turn because I was beautifully distracting
~the make out until 3am on his friends couch (during this date)
~him explaining how at both dinners he was jumping down outside with excitement over looking at me inside
~asking me in front of his friends how I manage to look so beautiful from every angle
~driving in his car and rubbing his arm and him saying "I love when you do that"
~him taking my hand and putting it on the back of his neck and shoulder on our way home from Niagara to Toronto when I had done it earlier in the trip and he wanted it some more
~him stopping on his way to the bathroom to kiss me quickly during our lunch out
and then the confusion sets in
I just don't get it
And it's obviously starting to be a little scary reminiscent of MM and Spencer and this freaks me right the heck out!
At this point it is about 9 HOURS since I sent the message.
That alone is such a bad bad BAD sign.
SO obviously still so cranky.
Pic from here
I am proud of you for putting yourself out there enough to just say hey to him. It was totally breezy and noncommital--just a friend checking in. I feel badly that it was my suggestion to text him, but you did it and now you can take his silence as an answer. His immaturity by not even responding shows that he is not at all worth your time and after 2 more days of wondering what the hell went wrong you need to completely put him out of your mind. He was a bit of proof that you CAN have fun, he just wasn't the right one, but I think finding him kind of shows that you're getting closer to the right guy. I speak from experience...I dated A LOT of guys after my divorce before I met my hubs (I just wasn't brave enough to chronicle them on my blog). 95% of them were total losers. Unfortunately, that's just how it goes. On C's and my first date I didn't even realize it was a date-I thought we were just going as friends! It happens when you least expect it (I know, EVERYONE says that). Do not take this personally or as defeat. You are a beautiful, smart, determined, self-sufficient woman. Remind yourself daily of this. You WILL find a guy that deserves you. Thank goodness things with the dentist (who wants a guy who digs in mouths anyway? ;) ) didn't work out--clearly he can't handle being around strong women. I'm sure he realized he couldn't measure up to what you deserve.
ReplyDeleteIs this making you feel at all better? ;) Keep your chin up, chik. You're much better off without him.
@Beth- Don't feel bad at the suggestion. Many people agreed with you. And you're right his non-response is actually a very crystal clear response. At least I know that spark is possible. The feeling of butterflies is possible. There are a lot of things possible and I can have hope that someday at some time all of this will be funny and worth it. I hear from lot of friends how they would go through every bit of tears/crap/hurt/pain to be where they are now. Hopefully that will be my story too. Trying to keep my chin up!
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