conversations going nowhere

So after the debacle of last Thursday with MrAttorney.
I should have followed the advice of AM.
Instead I allowed the text messages to go back and forth over the weekend.

Him teasing and saying that he dropped off a hot chocolate for me with the concierge.
Me for a second thinking that he actually did.
Him telling me a should yell at the concierge if it wasn't there because it means he drank it.
Me realizing he was totally just pulling my leg.

Later on this week he checked on me (from being sick last weekend).
At first I thought I would just ignore him but then I caved a day later.
And it kind of led to this conversation.

You see I felt bad because his Grandfather passed away over the weekend.
And in my messed up way I want to be there for him.
Or at least offer my condolences.
And then he will say something like the above "almost as much fun as hanging with me in scars" (scars is slang for the crappy out of the city area I lived in previously).   

And I know I should ignore him.
I am focusing on moving on and filling my life with great things.
Because y'all are right...he is just stringing me along for some weird reason.
I obviously am letting him.
I was so good from September 8th until the end of November and I cracked a little when he reached out to me on my actual birthday.
And lets be real obviously some part of me hoping things had changed and he had come to the realization that he wanted to be in a relationship with me.
The reality is that isn't the case at all.  

living in a downtown world

Y'all my week has been nutty in the best possible way!
First on Monday.
As I figured I got a message from the first date fail the previous day.

Which is just weird.  I mean first you say you aren't that into me.
Then he basically questions/makes an accusatory statement about it.
I'm always perfectly nice and polite.
And I just re-iterated what our conversation was on Sunday.
I don't just go on first date sparks...it sometimes takes me a bit.
Anywho so at least that's done.

Monday night was the start of our winter book club with the girls.
We did this last year and had a great time.
This month's book selection, The Mountains Echoed by 

Pic from here

A lovely night of chicken curry and bubbly champagne.
These girls are awesome and it is fun to get together and discuss things other than just gossip lol.

Tuesday night I headed to the movies with Kai.
So awesome that there is a theatre less than a block from where we now live.
And it's great to have Kai living in the same building.
We of course went to go see my guilty pleasure of Catching Fire.

Pic from here

Loved it and a definite improvement over the first movie.
It more closely followed the book and the recast the cat.  I'm someone who is detail oriented and insanely bothered by the black and white cat in the first movie when the book clearly describes the cat as a ginger one!

Wednesday night was date number two with someone (read here if you missed it).
I'm a little hesitant because it has been two and a half weeks since our first date.
I was wondering if he actually was interested but on the actual date I find myself pleasantly surprised.
Time seems to fly by and I find myself really simply just enjoying myself.
He picked a fabulous place one of my new favs in the city Patria.

Pic from here

It is a Spanish Tapas styled restaurant and my favourite way to eat.
I love trying little bits of everything.
Not to mention here I was on a date with a smart and handsome man.

He always dresses really well which I find super attractive.
Wednesday night he was wearing a blue and white checked button up shirt with a navy blue cardigan with light blue pipping also buttoned up.
Such great style.
After our date he offered to drive me home (now that I'm a public transit taking kind of girl).
As he drove me up I only made things slightly awkward with the hug and no kiss yet.
We do have date three on the agenda for Sunday so fingers crossed.

Thursday night Val and I headed out for our traditional birthday dinner.
We picked The Grove which was also amazing!
I'm seriously having great luck with restaurants lately.

Pic from blogto

We opted to each do the five course tasting menu but actually split it so we ended up with a ten course tasting menu.  So we tried everything except two items on the menu.
And it was delicious!
Definitely on my list of new favs. 

Pic from here

Finally Friday was upon us and it was our second annual American Thanksgiving potluck at Laurel and her husband's place.
And we ate and laughed and gave thanks and just spent time together.
And it was the perfect end to a busy and fun week.

Pic from here

It is kind of funny us all living in a big city but still pulling together to celebrate.
Some of us are from here, some of us are from other cities in Toronto and some are from across the world.
Such a great group of friends I've made here.
I'm absolutely loving living downtown.

jeans and sneakers

Pic from here

So against my better judgement AND trying to force myself past MrAttorney.
I had a first date Sunday.
At Joey's at the Shops at Don Mills.
We met for a Sunday afternoon drink.

Just no spark and chemistry really.
And he wore jeans and sneakers (which is the fashion statement I absolutely detest!)
There were some lulls in the conversation.
I think I'm probably just more conservative than him.
He told me he essentially doesn't have a filter.
And that he treats guys and girls the same.
And to be honest he just didn't seem that interested in me.

Also I probably should not have gone on a first date with him seeing as prior to our first date he felt so inclined to ask if I "waxed down there".  
(Obviously I told him it was none of his business).
I need to do a much better job screening these things.

Here's how nothing changed

Sorry to keep you suspense.
Thursday.
I was so nervous I could barely sleep.
Trying to pick the most flattering of my non-flattering work clothes.

I was so so nervous and the day seemed to drag on until lunch.
And as I waited for MrAttorney in the lobby of my work building...butterflies.
He came around the corner handsome as ever.
Laughing and pulling me into him in a hello.

As as we giggled and began a walk to lunch it was less awkward than I thought.
Until 10 steps in we ran into someone who used to be another attorney's assistant.
And this awkward introduction moment of being asked if I was also an Attorney and the puzzled look on the ladies face when I said nope another profession.

We sat to have lunch.
Where it was like we didn't miss a beat.
Giggling and teasing each other.
And me being reminded of how handsome and funny he is.

He kept asking me what was new.
And asked about things I had done like Dallas and Ann Arbor trips.
He caught me up on his family and his life.
Asked me some advice on things.

And as we chatted and caught up I found myself realizing how much I missed him.
He made a comment about how his grandfather who is very ill and soon to pass away made him realize that "life was short"...and my hopeful heart pounded.
And as we made our way back to my office I asked him why he invited me out to lunch.
He said it was because it was my birthday and he missed me.
I joked that well he could check it off the list then.
And as I stalled uncomfortably outside my office he said do you think we should talk.
And I put it back on him I thought so if he wanted to.

And then I was up in my office in a blur.
Where was this going?
I had so many unanswered questions.
So with gusto I messaged him thanking him for luch and asking if we needed to talk.
His response "You want to talk?  As you typically say...it that what you want?"
I said yes.

Being the impatient girl that I am I practically insisted on doing so sooner rather than later.
And with that I found myself out to dinner with him across the street at a little sushi place.
When he saw me he made a comment about it being his lucky day seeing me twice.
And as we sat there eating sushi we reverted right back to our old selves.
Him eating the sashimi part off the top of the roll so I could eat the roll (too much fish on sushi is not my fav...he remembered so he did that).
And I found myself mumbling that I missed him and could you pass the soy sauce.
He said me too oh and I also need the soy sauce.

And so with that I launched into the fact that I missed him but I'm at a point in my life where I want to be in a relationship.
And he is in the exact same place.
He said he hasn't dated anyone since but filled his life with work/sports leagues/family stuff.
I told him I was dating.
He said well at this point really you could have had a boyfriend.
But really he just missed me and wanted to catch up.

And I was upset.
Y'all were right.
And with that we left the restaurant and as we stood outside in the cold neither of us wanting to leave.
He kissed me on the cheek I tried not to cry.

He offered to walk me a little ways towards my place.
Which turned into a side trip to his work so he could grab a bag and then we were in a taxi to my place.
Him leaning against me arm around me.
Me frustrated.

He dropped me off and got out to let me out of the taxi.
He pulled me towards him and briefly kissed me on the lips before pulling me in for a hug.
And with every fiber of me I didn't want him to leave.
He had to meet his parents though.

We briefly texted later that night.
I apologized for the situation.
He told me I had nothing to apologize about and that he always enjoys hearing from me.

The next morning I was full on fever sick so I stayed home from work.
He texted me first thing apologizing for not being able to meet me for a drink the night before and said "I really wanted to come" before asking how my night was.
He joked about bringing me a hot chocolate.
When I asked where it was he said he left it with my concierge and to yell at him if it wasn't there because it meant the concierge had drank it.

And we've been texting back and forth over the weekend.
But I need to stop.
Because really nothing has changed.

Blast from the not so recent past...

So yesterday was my birthday.
And it was good.
Usually I struggle and freak out and have just the most difficult time on my birthday.
Not the whole age thing but usually bad staff happens on or around my birthday (hence the Birthday Curse).

It's no secret that I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to stop thinking about MrAttorney.
Well I hadn't heard from him since this last message.
But I have been thinking if he only reaches out one more time then I will respond.

So yesterday it came as a "Hey happy birthday.  Hope all is well with you."
To which I replied "Thanks.  How are things with you?"
And then he called but I was busy getting Sushi with Kai for my birthday dinner.
Kai is one of the Canada crew who now just so happens to live on the 19th floor (I live on the 20th of the new downtown place).

So I go this text "Things are pretty good.  Just tried calling you.  Doing anything fun for your birthday?"
And I panicked about how to respond or what to do.
So I waited until today.
And with a few casual text messages exchanged it happened...
He asked "Would you be interested in grabbing a coffee or bite?"
And in my hesitation he wrote again "Crickets crickets...haha".

So I have lunch plans tomorrow with him.
And I'm kind of flipping out about it.
Holy moly what did I get myself into.
I'm probably making a big deal about nothing.
Maybe he just wants to catch up.
Maybe.

I find myself wondering...what will it be like.
Will we slip back into the banter we had before?
Will it be awkward?
Will he have changed his mind?
Will he have missed me?
Will things be the exact same?
Will he now want to move forward in some way?
Or is he just curious how things have been for me?
Like he said before he "cares about me".
I'm nervous and hopeful...

Pic from here

Packing

Y'all I'm so OVER packing.
Also for the first time tonight I had total anxiety with this move.
So strange...I mean I'm moving downtown.
It's what I've wanted since coming to Toronto.
Only I freaked out a little bit.
So of course I called Taylor who made me feel wayyyyyyyyy better.
And with that back to packing!

Pleasantly Surprised on a Monday Night

After a Fifth Date Bail more than a week ago, I still have not heard a peep from MrTrader.
What is with these boys?!
Even a lack lustre text is better than just straight up falling off the face of this earth.
So annoying.

So I thought my best bet was to move on.
Especially when I got to the point of seriously contemplating contact MrAttorney.
Anywho so back to dating I went.

Last night I went on a fun date with a potential Mr.
We went to a Terroni location I hadn't been before in uptown.



It was great we shared a bottle of wine.
And ordered appetizers.
I went with the cheese/charcuterie board which may be one of my favourite kinds of snacks.
It was super cute inside as well.
Especially as this cooler weather is coming into Toronto.



We had a surprising amount in common.
He lives downtown and doesn't like the suburbs at all.
We even have randomly stayed in the same exact hotel in Seoul before.
We met at 7:15 and before I knew it the clock was striking 11.
I suppose that's a good sign.

The end of the date was only awkward as I make things.
He seemed a little stand offish.
I think he is a little shy (well that or he simply isn't that into me).
I initiated a hug.
Guess we'll see what happens.
But I found myself pleasantly surprised on this random Monday night.