Another sleepless night and another morning waking up with that shotgun wound to the stomach.
Well it's not literally a real shotgun wound but it sure does feel like it (well if I was to guess what feeling shot is like).
The thing that really keeps me going are my friends...the girls if you will...so I will expand a little on them.
A lot of this comes in response to my post yesterday of the update most recently of PH.
There is...
Taylor~ usually not a day goes by that I don't talk to her in someway. She is a true southern bell and one of the people that I can travel with easily. (Sometimes travelling can be difficult especially to third world countries haha). We joke around that we have "ruined cities"...some of my favourite memories with her include trips to Vegas, Lake Tahoe, Singapore, Thailand, and in just about 5 weeks Toronto. I look up to her like a big sister and aspire to be more like her. She looks how I wished I looked when I was a little girl (more about the Doll story later). Blond, gorgeous, teeny tiny waist, great rack, small Barbie feet...you get the picture. She has so many uplifting quotes/points/emails that I couldn't do it justice but need to start including some in my blog.
Melody~ my fun seriously spunky girlfriend that is a pillar of strength. She has been such a fun person to hang out with. I am consistantly amazed by her talents (she could totally be a professional makeup artist)!
Since I'm a movie lover I would liken her to Alice Cullen (from Twilight...I know hold your groan) but intuitive, smart, great dark short hair, teenytiny and just beautiful. She sent me a seriously great email about this crazy time in my life, here is a part of it...
But, save yourself the boatload of money I have spent on therapy to know that it REALLY ISN’T YOU. It’s his stupid self, making a decision that he chose and inflicting pain on you that he will have to live with. Karma really is a beeatch! It will come back to him.
I would inflict physical harm upon that boy (if you could even call him that…it requires balls and he apparently doesn’t have any) if I saw him! You deserve so much more and you have good, honest love to give and he just doesn’t deserve it from someone as good as you. Somewhere in the future, you will look at this situation and realize why you had to endure such a horrible lesson to learn something so important about yourself and that lesson will in turn give you something even better and something worth every tear. You just have to hang in there and wait for it. You can do it. I know how strong you are.
You have SUCH an awesome friend in Taylor. If you ever need to talk or to cry or to scream at…I’m here for you! Big hugs and lots of thoughts are heading your way. I miss you.
Eva~ you have seen and heard of before. If you remember she is dirty blond (haha NOT like that), got the best Bootie in the world, great back and shoulders and is a yoga master! She is wonderful here is part of her email to me yesterday (with respect to PH)...
What a SHIT HEAD!!!!
You're better off without this dipshit... Really...look at it that way....he's saving you from forever putting up with his stupid shit. He's an immature, inconsiderate, selfish bastard who doesn't deserve you. Ugh...he makes me soooooo mad!!!!!!!!! Get your shit back from him....put him behind you, and get in on with the life you deserve. Aaaaahhhh...I just want to scream at him!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well we've got lots of fun friend time planned for the next month, so lets look forward to that...focus on that and make some great new memories with our favourite old people :)
Love you!!!
Brooke's Birthday is this weekend. She is great and wonderful and definitely someone you don't want to mess with. This girl is one of those girls who can transform like a chamelion...she can be blond, redhead, dark and looks amazing...pair that with awesome eyes and smile and I sure don't have a shortage of beautiful friends. She is brilliantly sarcastic and a doll to hang out with. Here is her part of her email to me yesterday...
Well, it seems he is not being very co-operative in this whole thing. You need to look out for yourself, and not worry about accomodating him anymore. You need to get all your things from him ASAP, one way or another, and since he doesn't seem to want to give you any information about the lawyer, maybe you need to get yourself to a lawyer as soon as you can, and start working things out on your end. Maybe go see what your rights are in all this, what you are entitled to, and if you can get anything from him to cover the costs you have incured already towards the wedding. I'm really sorry this has turned out like this for you.
I do have to say that I was quite surprised to find out that you guys had actually already "tied the Knot",(I know I know I have some explaining to do!) and I'm really sorry you had to keep that bottled up for so long. That must have been really difficult for you. I hope you know that you can tell any of us anything. We are your best friends, and it is part of our "job description" as a best friend to not judge, and be supportive of each other, no matter what. You can call me at any time to chat about any thing you need to talk about.
Jane is like the mama bear in our group and the glue. She makes sure everything is okay with everyone and she really seriously taught me how to hug properly (along with Eva) and how to climb a tree (on my 20th birthday...I'm obviously a city girl). Best rack of the group haha...Sophie (who is tiny) has taken to wearing her bra as a hat on occasion! Dark thick amazing hair...we joke that if you put Jane and Eva together they would have the perfect hour glass body. Here is part of her email....
So sorry for the delayed response. I was in complete shock the other day when I read the email and I couldn't even think clearly to respond so I was going to do it when I got home and our internet has been down and I was away at a volleyball tournement yesturday.
How are you doing? I know I am still in shock so I can just imagine how you are feeling. I know you must be so confused and looking for answers, but this just might be one of those times in your life that you just need to trust there is a greater plan at work in your life and that through all the pain something good will come out of it. I know I'm struggling with that idea myself, but I know it's true. You deserve so much more and non of this makes sense. I'm sure PH will regret his decision, but to have put your through this is shows without a doubt he doesn't deserve you. The process will be a long and hard road Teagan, but just know I will be there for you whenever you need me.
I love you and give me a call whenever.
There is also Quinn...who is brilliant in every way possible. Quinn is one of those girls that just gets more and more beautiful as she ages...I know that seems weird but it is so true. I've been sneaking to her house some nights just to spend the night with a supportive friend.
There is Val she has been a great huge support to me. Val is a track star...EVERY single one of my boy friends has had a crush on her at one point...one of my friends is like oh the one with the gray eyes (she really has unique eyes). She is the one that I think everyone pines to be with and she is hilarious, sweet and so lovely...I am excited to see who she ends up with. She has prayed for me, had me stay with her so many times just to ease the pain that I'm feeling, and has the best heart ever.
Sophie, is my amazing friend who lives in (I think) the coldest place in Canada. I'm going to visit her in her city in February (I know what am I thinking- I hate the cold!) but I will already be that far West for another reason. She is probably the most unique and artistic of all of us. She makes the BEST Christmas crafts so I hope she never gets tired of making them...I ALWAYS look forward to those.
There they are but not nearly enough justice explaining all of them. I will do my best as I go along. These are my pillars of strength, my rocks! And I love them more than anything.
xoxo
Teagan
