Happy birthday, Teagan. Welcome to 30, and you've certainly made a mess of it.

Okay so I totally borrowed the title of this post from a quote from Episode 402 of One Tree Hill  "BROOKE: Happy birthday, Brooke. Welcome to 18, and you've certainly made a mess of it".

So a ton of randomness to begin.
I've been super stressed.
Like super stressed making my period 3 days late (I'm good like that for stress...is that TMI...oh well I'm feeling in the sharing mood.)
My first two months in Singapore I was about two weeks late from stress alone.

What do I have to be stressed about?

• Jacob for like the gazillionith time "coming for sure to visit this weekend" and bailing yet again.
• A seminar I signed up for in trying to avoid turning 30 and then pulling out of because I didn't have the time to prepare (and the thought of arriving there at 7:30am didn't seem appealing).
• Having to deal with work drama.  The fact that I had a 3 month review with the person I am supposed to report to on my contract and having a new three month review scheduled with head office/corporate 3 people panel has me freaking out beyond belief).  On Friday that new three month review was pushed until Wednesday (great 2 extra sleepless nights)...but only after I made an idiot of myself responding because I thought they had moved it two hours later same day and not reading careful enough I responded I couldn't do it then and then being corrected that I could from big boss CEO's assistant (careless and dumb on my part ughhh).
• And the fact that I turned 30 which to me is just devastating.  I don't think it sounds cool or sophisticated and while it's great that everyone says its the best time ever (ummm wasn't that supposed to be high school years?) I don't believe them.NO Wait!!! I DO believe them if it is coming from the mouths of married/happy couples.

I realize this makes me sound like a bitter horrible single person but whatever.
I'm sure YOUR life is great in your 30s...I'm just not so sure mine is.
Though it is actually good to hear it...it's like I believe it for everyone but myself.
So I've been wrestling with all this.
And all the time trying to forget about my birthday curse...which totally exists.
More about that later.

So Saturday started off okay.
I slept in, did some cleaning, watched a random movie (Flyboys if your interested which I actually really liked).  Of course here's the trailer.

I had Eva come over for a later afternoon lunch of soup/salad/samosas.
I meant to take a picture of the table but totally forgot.
And I even folded the napkins all cute as sort of cutlery envelopes.
Anywho Eva was the 2nd 30th birthday pep talker.
And I was like ummm okay.
Yes YOUR life in your 30s is great married/new house/trying to have babies/awesome vacations every year...my life?... not so much...but was able to smile and nod anyway.
Eva did help me finally compose a "itsnotyouitsme" text to MrFinance (finally putting a close on that chapter).
Then she had to go get ready for date night/her birthday celebration with her husband at an uber fancy restaurant (and me trying not to be all green eyed about it).

Then I busied myself getting ready.
And I found myself actually enjoying it.
Put on the new Drake album and took my sweet time getting ready putting on makeup and debating outfits.
Val came over (we had plans for dinner) and she helped me pick out this outfit winner.
And I was so so SO excited.
We were going to eat at a fabulous trendy place.
And we decided to stay downtown and go drinking/dancing/basically get up to shenanigans.

So on our way out the door Val snagged a samosa.
Val who has been dealing with some digestion stomach issues.
You can probably totally see where this is going.

So we drive downtown for our 10:15pm reservations (clearly this place was HAP-PEN-ING).
It was #1 in the 2011 ten best new restaurants in Toronto Life magazine.
Check out the article here.

It is called Origin on King Street East downtown.
As we pulled up the first thing I noticed was the super cool pinky/purple-y lights (awesome).
I wish I had taken a photo as I can't find any on the internet....next time.

Then as we walked up there was a buzz of excitement.
The place had a great atmosphere.

Light fixture is made of 1600 godzilla figurines...who comes up with this stuff?  Perfect birthday party table though.

The kitchen is totally open and smack in the middle of the restaurant we were lucky enough to be seated right around it.  Front row seat baby!

Yup some liquid nitro awesomeness!

Those from Dallas it is like sitting around the tables at Mr. Sushi where you can watch them make things.  Check out their online gallery HERE (it really was beautiful).

I got a cocktail and Val was looking a little queezy at that point but said she would be fine if she just made a trip to the ladies.
Then we sat down and ordered.
Our appetizers came and Val barely poked at it (despite our agreed deliciousness factor).

Beet + goat cheese + pickled red onion + walnuts + sherry dressing + yogurt _13

Indian lentil soup + coconut _6

Brussel sprouts + smoked bacon + sherry vinegar _9

Spicy Spanish fries + chorizo + manchego _12

At that point I suggested leaving but Val insisted that we stay.
So we ordered our mains.
And a few minutes later the poor girl broke out in a sweat.
At that point I was like okay we are leaving.
So we snagged the waitress and got our mains to go.
Val didn't even get a chance to drink her wine before we left.

She had driven that night so I offered to just take a cab home but she insisted on driving and thought she would be up and awake and miserable anyway.
So she drove me home and immediately headed home herself.
Here is some of our mains in their to go containers.

Leftover apps of the brussel sprouts and Spanish fries.

Origin beef burger + avocado + smoked mayo + arugula _17

She was fine by the next day and she laughed that at least she did know she for sure could not eat things with green pepper in it.
And to clarify she did know it was in the samosa before hand.
I wasn't pulling one over on one of my besties.
And she had eaten them all through Uni well we recognize NOW that they did cause some issues.

So it was an early birthday night for this girl.
And as I lay in bed.
I sighed.
I hope my 30s will be the best years ever.
But I don't have that kind of faith right now.
I just don't.
I really need to get to be who I am beyond this heartache and fear.
I am trying.
I just wish that turning 30 didn't feel like a set back.

Here's how Episode 402 ended...

LUCAS: There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. Afraid, confused, without a road map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while, people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief. And beyond heartache and fear of what lies ahead.


Non food close up pics from here here here

PS.  The Teagan birthday curse seems to be continuing...just saying.