He has been really sweet and nice and I'm starting to definitely have a big crush on him.
On Friday he was coming from a viewing for one of his high school classmates who had passed away.
Obviously I suggested we reschedule but he was keen to keep it we just pushed it back by about an hour.
Its tough because it's one of those awkward life situations.
Everyone deals with it differently.
So he came to pick me up from my place
(which is great because I live WAY in the Northeast part of the city).
At first he was a little quiet and things were a little less smooth.
I found myself trying to think of some of the right things to say with this situation.
We started to drive downtown...we didn't really have a plan.
He had other things on his mind and was acting sort of distracted.
(Which is completely okay given the situation- I just need to take a deep breath sometimes and not interpret it as disinterest).
We had some pretty serious conversations.
I actually opened up to him about my Grandfather and my cousin passing away.
We quietly chatted on the way to his place to drop off his car and decide on where to go.
We went to a place called Le Papillion.
 |
| Pic from here |
He had been there a few times with his parents before.
He also really like French food just like me.
It was super cute inside.
The atmosphere was great and romantic.
And as we were hanging out we sort of relaxed into each others company.
We had some great chats about things.
I tried to make him laugh by suggesting the waitresses french accent was totally fake.
I'm kind of silly like that.
Almost forgot.
Here is what I decided to wear.
I think it's fun because it's lace but kind of animal print but not like crazy in your face animal print.
I was pushing the envelope.
I was dressing up for a hot date...
And it was a Friday night.
After we headed back to his place.
He also isn't very like escort/hand-holdy.
Which is tough when I'm trying to keep up with his sexy long legs walk.
(Especially in 4" heels!)
When I almost faceplanted (seriously!!!) due to the extremely rough cracked pavement.
I said "okay I'm going to grab onto you know before I humiliate myself".
He joked back that that it was pretty mean to take me through a place where I could likely kill myself...and maybe this actually was his plan so that I would end up grabbing on to him.
(Cute but if he had offered his arm I would have taken it right away).
Anywho we walked to his place where we proceeded to make out like crazy on his couch.
And oh my goodness is he ever an amazing kisser!
At about 1:30am I suggested it was pretty late.
And I had a CPR recert all day Saturday.
So he drove me home.
On the way there I was struggling with do I or don't I invite him up.
You see some of the tough things (and also very Canadian things) is the little amount of "feedback" from him.
Side note:
In ALL of my past serious relationships.
There is "feedback" and a LOT of it.
There are MANY compliments
(ie. your're beautiful etc).
I need love compliments.
I also am used to guys falling really fast.
Or at least BSing me that they are falling fast.
With many sentiments of mentioning the future
(with serious and non-serious relationships alike)
ie. MrDentist- the condo future comment
of
wouldn't it be funny
if one of the condos we looked at
was one of the first ones we lived in etc.
MM- the offer to move in with him
for 6 weeks when I first moved to Toronto
Spencer- knowing I was "the one"
Jacob- telling me over and over
how lucky he was to be with someone so
beautiful and smart and perfect for him
And I fully realize all of these things MAY be the problem.
BUT I find security in this feedback.
And I do WANT to hear daily that I'm beautiful.
I also like giving complements too so it's not one sided.
Anywho the compliments MrClarkKent has given me twice have been "that's a nice dress".
And I smile politely and thank him.
But in my head I think...ummm okay you are complimenting my style (but anyone can buy a nice dress) how about what's going on in the dress? ....do you like that???
He hasn't told me I'm pretty/beautiful/gorgeous (really any of these will do).
And we keep going on dates so he must be interested right?
So when we got there I invited him up for a drink.
Which turned into some serious fooling around.
Mixed in with some conversations.
I told him he's hard to read.
He told me he gets that a lot.
I almost tried to bring up the Spencerbombshell convo.
But it was way more fun making out with him.
Then we reached the point where it was 4am
where it's that awkward moment of what's next...
And we were laying on my narrow couch.
Which is much too narrow for 2 people never mind one rather handsome 6'4" guy.
Both of us were clearly really tired too.
So I invited him to stay over (totally not in my plan I had my comfy not newly washed t-shirt sheets on the bed and what the heck was I going to do about pajamas?!)
He was exhausted (it was 4am and it had been a long day).
So off to bed (I decided on my cotton tank/shorts pajamas the pink/yellow ones).
Where we again had some fun fool around time
(you know the non-sex kind where I remain fully clothed
which apparently is my specialty...and totally embarrassing by the way
ie. the chef at Eva's bachelorette and MrDentist at his friends house).
By the time we actually were going to sleep it was close to 6.
I had to be up and going by 9:30.
So I snuggled into him (gosh it is SO incredible to snuggle into him).
And before I knew it the alarm was buzzing.
And it was slightly awkward as I was now incredibly shy.
Funny how the effects of wine can make you feel a lot more bold/confident.
Those effects are gone by the morning.
I felt terrible because I had no breakfast to offer him.
I asked if he wanted a coffee/water (I felt like such a bad host!)
Then I hopped in the shower scrambling to get ready.
My ringer went off while I was in the shower.
He asked if it was from the Hunger Games.
I blushed because I was totally caught about that nerdy thing.
But the fact that he also knew what it was was a sense of shared nerdiness haha.
Then we walked down to his car.
Where he told me he had a fun time and thanked me for inviting him to stay over.
Then I sped off to my busy day that was beginning with a CPR recert.
Where I had 0 focus and just daydreamed about making out with MrClarkKent.
Uh-oh I think I may really like him.
We are for sure at the point where I want to see where things go with him.
However I do have other dates on the calendar.
So what do I do???
Part of me would feel super embarrassed if I was to run into him on a date (like tonight...where the restaurant is so super close to where he lives I'm already in a panic).
Especially because I do like him.
But remember the last time I cancelled all my dates because of MrDentist?
That didn't exactly work out.
Playing the field is totally way harder than it sounds.
No comments:
Post a Comment